To Whom It May Concern,
When I first began working on this web site, I was just hoping to figure out how to make one. I wasn't planning on making this one special nor was I planning on putting hours of work into it. This plan was shattered once I began the work. I realized that I needed to do my best and not just settle for "good enough". I have poured my heart into everything that these pages consist of... perhaps because I have needed something else to do to fill up my time (yea right) but in actuality, I think it was because I needed to have my voice heard.
I have been fighting with the various issues mentionned on these pages for a very long time and I now believe that my purpose is to assist others when dealing with or when trying to comprehend the anguish associated with mental illness. Everything through which I've been I would never wish on even my most mortal enemy. Waking up, day after day, thinking about nothing other than the inner pain that rips your heart and soul apart. The intense sting in your eyes that occurs after catching a glimpse of that horribly disgusting body is enough to tempt you to cut off all that is bad about you. The neverending self-hate for all of the actions that have been done, that are being done and that will be done pushes you to the edge.
Perhaps I should be ashamed for all that I have done to cope with my despair but I've moved past that. I wish more than anything that everyone else could do that too. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are who we are and no one can ever change that. I may not be proud of the fact that I practise self-injury or that I know how to prevent the food from staying down but if given the opportunity, I would not change any part of my past. I have suffered from serious episodes of depression, I have fought the battles of eating disorders, I have been hospitalized for my actions but I am still here; to talk about my expriences and share the knowledge that I have accumulated. I hope that you will be able to find the light in the darkest. My thoughts are with you as you try to learn about and comprehend the battles of another. Take care and never give up hope... There is a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow.
