•the superball incident
"Billy: Thanks for hitting me with your necklace, I appreciate it.
James: We'd like to thank the crazy man with the superballs. Come backstage and, ah, I'll show you a fucking superball, you...
Billy: Yeah, keep throwing those superballs you motherfucker. Keep 'em coming. Sooner or later we're going to find out who you are and beat the shit out of you.
James: Argh! Damn the man! He's right there! I see him! Beat him! Punch him! Do you have a brick? Hit him.
Billy: You're the superball man?
James: No no, not that man.
Billy: You're still a dick for getting up.
James: But he has one of our t-shirts though!
Billy: Well, he did have a t-shirt, sorry about that
James: You are gonna get it, you!
Billy: Well go ahead and throw all the shit you have to throw now, at least we can see it.
James: Fucker.
Billy: Go ahead. See the lights are on, now we can see you. What's the matter, don't want to throw anything now?"
•the oasis/fellatio confession
"James: I know you want Blur and Oasis to have a fighting match onstage right. But we're only Americans, sorry.
Billy: It's alright, the guy from Oasis sucked my cock before the show, James. And the amazing thing is it was good!
James: Oh my..."
•"James: Good evening Oakland!
Billy: James, we're not in Oakland.
James: Good evening San Fransisco!
Billy: We're not in San Fransisco either.(to the crowd)See, there is something many of you may not know about James. He's a robot, and when we're on tour, we kinda forgot to reprogram him sometimes so he gets confused easy. That's also why he smells so bad since we can't give him a shower." -Billy and James during a MCIS concert.
•"Fan Question: Hi James. My friend says that you were or are a woman. But then I also read that you were dating D'arcy. So which one was true?
Billy: He is a woman, and he was involved with D'arcy.
James: I'm trying to do a lot of things these days."-Billy and James' humorous little answer to a fan's question.
•On the simpsons:
"Billy: all we have is our music, our legions of fans, our millions of dollars, and our youth...woo hoo!
James: Lets go buy fur coats!
Jimmy: I want a walk-in humidoor!"
•Billy and James were asked about what type of music they like:
"Billy: you ever heard of that singer/songwriter, James Iha?
James: yeah, i hear hes pretty good...
Interviewer: yeah i was gonna say...you sound like youre into the more sensitive songwriters...
Billy: Listen...Just take a look at his clothes..."Denim Man," we call him. He's all denim!
James: Look at HIS clothes! He's all shiny and black. See? Just like his music...
Billy: yeah, exactly. dark...denim. (pointing to himself, then to james) right here, you can see the difference between the two of us.
James: We have the whole scope!"
•"Interviewer(reading an email question for the band): you are known as one of the most intelligent rock bands out there, and everyone listens very closely to what you have to say on...
D'Arcy(interrupting): isn't that scary?
Interviewer: Scary??
d'arcy: doesn't that scare you?
int. laughs and finishes question:do you find theres a lot of pressure to say the right thing and make sure you are understood?
Billy (in a slow, dumb voice): what? i dont understand."
•"Interviewer: ...so im wonderin', when the going gets tough, what saves your asses?
Billy: Uh...rollerblading?"
•"Interviewer: ...Speaking of asses, d'arcy...
D'arcy: WHAT did you say?
Billy: you've got a nice ass, speaking of your ass...
James: Oh, i get it.
Billy: woah, this is muchmusic
James: good segue
D'Arcy: You can say that in Canada, on TV? That's awesome!...and i'm wearing my see-thru shirt.
Interviewer: I know, very saucy you are!
d'Arcy: But theyre showing me from the neck up, though.
Int.: are they?
D'arcy: i dunno, i'll hear about that later.
Billy: boots down. you've got the boots down look.
Interviewer asks if d'arcy's talent of taming horses helps to tame/deal with her bandmates
James: the horse...the BASS whisperer.
Billy: if you're talking about when she used to ride James...
D'arcy: Yes i did, but uh, i dont wanna go there.
James: Um...
Int.: OH, Trashy!
Billy: she'd just grab a mane of hair and go!
James: uhm...yeah...
D'arcy: Yeah, who, yeah...yeah? Who's missing all their hair?...not James!
Int.: What is this, Jerry Springer all of a sudden?
Billy wipes his forehead:Could we just, uh, stop the taping and roll it back 5 minutes?"
•1996 post-grammy's press conference...
Interviewer: "There's been so many rumours about the Smashing Pumpkins and drugs and the loss of one of the musicians. Can you make a statement about that?"
D'Arcy: "Man you should try these, they're awesome."
James: "Oh, you're the one asking the DUMB questions." (he looks REALLY pissed)
Billy: "What are we supposed to say, y'know..."
James: "You read about it, you've heard it."
Billy: "You've heard it, it's old hat..."
James: "We've moved on"
Billy: "I believe the Grammy night tonight pretty much puts an end to that era for us, for better or for worse, so, uh, get over it, we're continuing on, whether its just the 3 of us or the hundred of us. As far as drugs and rock'n'roll, i mean, go back and read your books from the 60's. It's not really like that, but, if you wanna live in the myth of that, that's all great and groovy..."
