.opening up.
In two weeks, we were back to California, just like my dad had promised. I was eating well, and being very healthy. I couldn't have been more proud of myself. Songs were pouring out of me left and right.
Zac still wasn't eating, and I was trying my hardest to get through to him. It wasn't working though. He had been avoiding me like I was some kind of plague. More than likely it was because I knew what he was doing, and he didn't want to be faced with the truth. It was also a very personal thing, something he had all to himself. Something he didn't have to share with his brothers, or father, or the fans even. I was dying inside watching my brother waste away, and I couldn't do anything about it.
He was also partying a lot, and coming home either stoned or drunk. My parents would see this, and ground him, but he would just sneak away unnoticed anyways. There were nights I tried to stop him, but he would get past me some how. Either by just pushing past me, or sneaking away before I got a chance to notice.
My dad was being over-bearing again, yelling at Zac about everything he did. He was either too fast or slow with the beat. I just wanted to yell at my dad and tell him to leave him alone, but it seemed like no matter what Zac did, he was wrong. Every idea for a song, my father shot down. I knew it was just crushing and ruining Zac more than what he was already wrecked.
"Hey Zac," I called to him. We were all sitting in our rented house after having had a long day of recording.
"what?" He asked, not even looking at me, still staring at the television.
"You wanna go for a walk with me?" I watched him closely, hoping I would get a 'yes' or head nod signaling to me he was going to go along with it.
"I guess," He stood up. I felt the pressure in my chest release. He was actually agreeing to do something with someone in the family. Maybe it was his time to release everything inside, and try to get some help from soneone.
We walked in silence for about twenty minutes. Thoughts were racing in my head, yet I couldn't get any words to come out. I didn't know where to start, or even if I should start. If I said something, he might clam up and not say anything or do anything with me again. But, if I don't say something he might have serious health problems, or even die.
"Taylor,...." Zac spoke, trailing off.
"Yeah, Zac?" I questioned.
"What was it like for you?" I could feel my heart beat faster. I knew exactly what he was talking about, and he finally was going to open up to me. One of the first steps in realizing you have an eating disorder is finding someone you can relate to, and talk about it.
"Well, Zac,...."
.home.
