GAweb Posts from December 17, 2000

21 GAweb Posts from December 17, 2000

1 Rich R richr_srcp@hotmail.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 00:47:29 Last day gambled: Friday, December 15, 2000 Detroit, MI Good morning. Rich R, SLOWLY recovering compulsive person, checking in. Wow, what a difference a day makes! I feel great compared to yesterday. When my wife woke up yesterday morning I told her what I had done in our 401k retirement account. She was very concerned about the family's financial security. Based on my past experience in compulsively trying to market time our portfolio, I can understand her concern. For example, 10 years ago I moved almost 100% of the portfolio from cash into the market just in time for Saddam Hussein to go into Kuwait and the bottom dropped out of the market! In one 2 week period while we were on vacation I lost about 30% of our total portfolio, which was a lot more than I ever lost on the horses. Now the good news is it was a 'paper loss'. In other words I didn't sell and the market eventually came back, but the 'emotional loss' was very real indeed. My wife, who is the master of understatement, said I was 'difficult to live with' during that period! That's why I had to change my date 2 days ago. The stock market was my form of gambling, unlike most GA members that I have met. It was far worse than what I experienced 30 years ago when I couldn't stop going to the horse tracks day and night. For one thing the amount of money involved is 'orders of magnitude' bigger than what I was betting to win, place and show. If I were to bet that kind of money on the horses, I would have driven the payoffs almost to zero. For example, the most I ever bet on one horse was $900, which was a lot but nothing in comparison to my stock market moves. And even tho in the long-term the stock market goes up (vs. any kind of gambling - horses, casinos, lottery etc.), when one is compulsive in the market and emotionally out of control, one can manage to lose a bundle. So I can understand my wife's concerns, especially since she does not understand the market and is very conservative by nature. Anyway, I didn't mean to go on so long about that. What I came her to post about was our going to the Saturday morning GA meeting yesterday. I was able to 'come clean' with what I had done, especially the part about the secrecy and not including my wife in the decision. That was 'old behavior' and I have worked hard over the past 10 years to reestablish trust in our relationship. When I was 'giving therapy' yesterday it dawned on me that I never even thought about how my actions would affect my wife. I was just totally consumed with trying to make myself feel better about my work situation. So I was moved to tears in the meeting. And GA people are great, it is a 'comment meeting' and I received many helpful and compassionate comments after I shared. I started feeling better almost immediately after that and by afternoon it was almost like 'no big deal'. I am ready to start over again. I think I was getting a little carried away about my date in GA anyway. I belong to another 12-step program where I relapsed many, many times during the first 2.5 years, but I kept coming back and changing my date. Eventually, I got a sponsor and started working (writing) the first three steps and I got and stayed abstinent for 5 years. That experience taught me some humility about these addictions/compulsions and the fact that I really need to 'work the program' not just go to meetings. The people in Overeaters Anonymous are great too. I remember April telling me after one of my many relapses 'remember Rich you MADE a mistake, but that doesn't mean you ARE a mistake!' For a perfectionist I needed to hear that. Someone else said 'recovery is like a marathon, not a sprint'. All of this recovery wisdom reminds me that we are merely human and we will make mistakes along the way, but the important thing is don't quit quitting. And lastly (for those few who might still be reading) I want to thank each of you who sent me email yesterday or commented here on GAweb. Your thoughts and concerns really touched me. The support on this webpage is just fantastic and I just want to go and tell others about it. Thanks again to Tony for providing this service. Okay, okay I'm done! :-) Top

2 Jim L jklite@hargray.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 01:10:08 Last day gambled: August 26, 1998 Hilton Head Island, SC USA Good Morning, my name is Jim L and I am a compulsive gambler. I do not know about tomorrow but today I will not gamble. I stopped gambling on August 26,1998 On that date I started a new life, a life that I could be proud of, a life that I had thought would never be possible. A life that is truly worth living. I was beyond hope, I was so screwed up that I had a hard time telling what day of the week it was. My lies and cover-ups had me so entangled that I had a hard time remembering my own name. One day at a time, with the help of The Gamblers Anonymous Program and Principles and with associating with people who have had success in the program, I am transforming into a better man, a man who can be trusted, a man who cares about others, a man who has compassion and tolerance, a man who is proud of his accomplishments and can look at himself in the mirror and not shudder. I am a work in progress and will be until my final day of my life, I will always be a compulsive gambler who works each day not to make a bet, and I accept that. This is who I am and I know now how to deal with that. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful program such as GA to follow, there are guidelines to follow, I follow them, there are others who have gone before and have changed their lives who offer suggestions, I follow them to the best of my ability. I do not try to bend the principles or words to fit my recovery, I try, to the best of my ability to follow the program as it is written. I know that the program works, and actions speak so much louder than words. I have made a commitment and I take it very seriously, I try to keep a balance in my life of GA, my Family, My HP, and my Business, by keeping a balance I am becoming the man that I wish to be............Have a wonderful day and with the Holidays approaching keep that phone list close and use it when you start to feel a little stressed.................... Jim L Top

3 JOE B JOEBJOE@EXCITE.COM

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 03:56:34 Last day gambled: 12/17/00 DETROIT HI, I CAN GO TO A CASINO AND BE A RECREATIONAL GAMBLER.TAKE A HUNDRED DOLLARS WITH ME AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF IT WIN OR LOSE.AND THIS ONLY HAPPENS ABOUT 6 TIMES A YEAR.MY BIG PROBLEM STARTED WHEN I DISCOVERED ONLINE CASINOS ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO.I KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS BUT CAN'T SEEM TO STOP.ALWAYS TRYING TO GET MY MONEY BACK.(SOME WHERE AROUND 50,000 NOW)WELL THIS IS IT FOR ME NO MORE!!!)I FEEL DEPRESSED AND GUILTY ALL THE TIME.I AM TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY IT IS AFFECTING MY EVERY DAY LIFE.SO FROM THIS MOMENT ON I WILL BE COUNTING THE DAYS THAT I HAVEN'T GAMBLED ONLINE,AND THE NEXT TIME I POST WON'T HAVE TODAYS DATE ON THE LAST DAY I GAMBLED.THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT. Top

4 Jake A bertrn@megsinet.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 04:28:09 Last day gambled: 3-11-99 R-ville USA Hi all Jake A here and yes I'm still a compulsive gambler. Well sometime after the New Year I will be looking for other employment. This will be another adventure for me. I'm looking forward to it, as where I'm working now the changes that are being made make to much stress in my life both mental and physical. When a job to me starts to cause problems with my home life and my serenity then I must do something. For me that is making a change. I would also like to let the Chicago area readers know that the new meeting that I have been working on is about to start. It will be on Tuesday nites from 7:pm to 9:pm. The location will be the Highpoint Community Center located on Highpoint Drive right off of Weber Road,in Romeoville. Hope to see some of you there. Now my question for today is if you can help someone at this time of the year why can't you do the same at another time of the year. Well all have a safe and gamble free 24. Jake A Top

5 Jake A mailto: Sunday, December 17, 2000, 04:31:51

Sorry I forgot to mention that the first meeting will be Jan. 9th 2001. Thanks again. Jake A Top

6 Jay L. jayl@azstarnet.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 05:03:56 Last day gambled: November 5, 2000 Tucson, Az. Good morning everyone. It's going to be a gorgeous day here in Tucson, Arizona. I hit three meetings yesterday. The last meeting was at 915pm and a buddy of mine and I waited and waited and waited. Finally, at 915 someone did show up and then a couple more cars rolled up to the building. Only 5 guys, but alot of good sharing and leave it to God, I think I found a sponsor. He has 11 years of what I could feel was some real good honesty around his recovery. I'm not quite sure how to approach the situation because it's difficult for me to ask for help. For me, getting a sponsor has been the scariest thing about recovery thus far. But everyone hammered the whole getting a sponsor thing, so as I've previously said, I'm desperate for recovery and I'll do anything to get it. I feel that I was really led to this fella for sponsorship, so we'll see. I'm very grateful that AA is going to be putting on some 24 hour marathons around Christmas and New Years in the Tucson area. No gambling or drinking around what is for me, the loneliest time of the year. I remember a few years back in the otb/bar, sitting in front of the tv monitors losing my $$$$ at the dogs and just looking up at the screen, nobody else was there betting, just me, depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Really ****#### depressed. I put myself through hell and misery for so many years, and for what? Because I couldn't look at myself in the mirror? Couldn't live with myself? I am desperate for recovery and will do anything to get it. Good sobriety to you all. Jay L. Top

7 Maggie Mac sandj@atcon.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 06:33:41 Last day gambled: 9 days ago :) East Coast, Canada Good morning .... maggie here.. a compulsive gambler working on recovery... this morning I woke up all out of sorts... I was dreaming that I didn't get all my projects done and that I had to return the money.. scary eh? So i came here to my computer and chatted with some wonderful ppl.. went back to bed for another wee nap.. got up again and listened to some Christmas music... I love Christmas... many don't and I can understand why if they are having pain from bad things that seem so much worse during this time of year.. but I was remembering the Christmas of my youth and the year it was my turn for Christmas.. yes, my turn.. you see mom & dad had 8 children, 7 boys and me.. dad had a bad heart and we were not wealthy as he couldn't work and we had to rely on $100.00 a month...yep one hundred .... Mom was a wonderful woman and we never knew we were poor... she made our clothes and cut our hair and always had a pot of soup on the stove when we got in from school.. soup and home made bread.. still my favourite thing.. we had no electricity or indoor plumbing but never thought that was awful because that's what we were used to.. but Christmas posed a problem.. how to get gifts for 8 children? In later years mom spoke of how she came up with her plan.. and it was this.. every Christmas we would hang our socks.. not the fancy ones of today but our well mended ones that she darned with care... and they would be filled with nuts and fruit, sticks of chewing gum.. real treats to us... and on the years when it wasn't our turn, we would get something small, a colouring book and crayons maybe or modeling clay.. and then one child in the family got a big gift... I remember my older brother got a camera.. a tiny one that he took pictures of the Cartwrights riding up for their close-up at the start of Bonanza... then it was my turn.. I will never forget the amazement when I saw that huge box under the tree for me...in it was a walking doll.. she had red hair and when I took her in my bed on that crisp, cold Christmas morning, I saw her breathe.. yes, she did...finally I had a sister! Now many Christmases have come and gone but for me and my brothers, we never forgot the Christmas that it was our turn... and how a gentle woman was able to make it such a special day... making us take turns and never once did we feel jealous... that was my mother's gift to us.. she was magical... and so, I love Christmas.. When I became a mom, I didn't have to have my sons take turns but Christmas was never about gifts and for that I am grateful to my wonderful mother's legacy..... what does this have to do with recovery you might ask? Well to me it reminds me that me that I don't have to complicate things.. to keep things simple...hugs to you all and Happy Holidays.. love from maggie mac Top

8 BillM billmorman@home.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 06:40:06 Last day gambled: 6-6-2000 The Windy City, Illinois Good morning and Happy Sunday from Chicago! I just wanted to say how much I admire and respect everyone who is honestly dealing with this addiction/disease of compulsive/pathological gambling and really trying to deal with and overcome it. None of us wanted to become an addict - but here we are. So after the anger and denial, the question becomes: I am a compulsive gambler, so what am I going to do about it? I have had the honor of meeting some of the most magnificent human beings in the GA program: people who were as sick, miserable and self destructive as I was at one time - and who today are truly wondrous, loving and happy human beings. I was fortunate in that I choose a sponsor who kept telling me that I would never be happy and really recover from this disease until I learned how to unconditionally love myself. I have made great progress in this area, but it is a lifelong process that takes continual effort so that I do not return to my old way of thinking and living. I just want to wish everyone a happy Holiday Season - without gambling. It does not take long for our lives to improve for the better once we stop gambling and start working the program. This is a very powerful and destructive disease - very powerful. But God and the GA program are more powerful! We are the fortunate ones who come into GA, work the program, and learn how to be joyous, happy and free - One Day At A Time! Love from Chicago, Bill M Top

9 Diana nepvewc@worldnet.att.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 06:43:31 Last day gambled: 11-27-00 southeast Texas Hi to all: Another COLD day in Texas. We're not used to wind chills in the teens down here. To RICH, I admire your courage. You didn't have to come here and post nor open up to your group but you did. That's what this program is all about. Did gambling ever make your homelife unhappy? Oh yes! In the beginning I'd only take $10 to go play bingo. Then other bingo halls opened up and there was day and night bingo.Started bringing 30 to $40 each time. Go in the morning, rush home change clothes(to get smoke smell off) do stuff around the house, cook, take care of kids then go back at night.Bill's got behind, they're were arguments.Had to borrow money from family. Twice our housenote got to be 4 months behind. Had to get uncle to get a note at the credit union. Did I tell him I gambled? Are you crazy? I didn't have a problem! I'd always be keyed up. Kids always asked me what was wrong, always. I was moody, irritated, just a pain in the ass if I couldn't go gamble like I wanted. It's hard to admit that about myself. I'd rather say my husband drank too much (which he did), but he didn't make me gamble. I chose to run. Today I choose not to gamble. My zoo is hungry. The ducks are quacking by the back door. Never knew you could spoil a duck. Cats are jumping on my lap. My dad will come in on Thursday. Can't wait. Before I hated company. I didn't know how to act. I'd constantly try to be this perfect hostess. I was miserable. Now I relax and enjoy who's here. Take care to all. One day at a time. I hope each of you enjoys Christmas with family and friends not worrying about gifts. Be yourself. Diana Top

10 Dal B. dalbert_b@yahoo.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 06:51:51 Last day gambled: 12/03/00 Vancouver, WA (USA) Good Morning All, I'm Dal and a recovering gambler. Here's something I picked up at the Sat meeting out in Gresham yesterday. Mind you, I'm NOT pointing fingers, but it does speak even to me. HAVE I QUIT THE FELLOWSHIP?

Some of us might be highly indignant if it were suggested that we had quit the Gamblers Anonymous fellowship. Once, a member who had not attended a meeting in some time, was questioned about this by the Group Secretary. He replied that he had never considered quitting the fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous. The Group Secretary reminded him that he had already stopped attending meetings on a weekly basis, had refused to give his support to G.A. activities and had withdrawn his financial support. He was asked, "What else would you have to do in order to quit G.A.? If you no longer wanted to be a member what other steps would you have to take?" As his true status dawned upon him, his expression reflected his sobering thoughts. He resolved, at that point, to rededicate himself to the program and he has been a faithful member ever since. Perhaps now is the time for all of us to ask ourselves those same questions:

HAVE I QUIT THE FELLOWSHIP WITHOUT MEANING TO?

HAVE I STOPPED ATTENDING MEETINGS? STOPPED CARING? STOPPED GIVING?

WHAT ELSE MUST I DO TO QUIT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS?

Have you ever asked yourself these questions: If every member of G.A. performed as I do, where would G.A. be? What if every member were as lax in attendance as I am? What if all of us worked so little at spreading the word? What if every member gave as little moral, spiritual and financial support as I do? Would Gamblers Anonymous cease to exist? If those who came before me acted as I do, would there have been a room for me to come to when I so desperately needed one? Am I part of the problem instead of part of the solution? I have often said that I owe my life to this fellowship, but do I really mean it? Have I made any real attempt to pay back what I have been given? Do I give as well as take? There are thousands of compulsive gamblers who will some day ask for our help. Will you be there when they do? Well, that's it, I know that many would say "Hey! I'm new, this is overwhelming!" I agree, but it tells me that this is not a "part-time" investment for me or others, it's for a lifetime. Another 24 down, a lifetime to go. :) Have a good day all, without gambling of course. Dal B. Top

11 Joni B jonimb@alltel.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 08:05:56 Last day gambled: 7/08/00 Pawnee City,Nebr Hi Friends! I too am a Grateful Recovering compulsive gambler. Wow, how I love this site. Wonderful posts today. A good friend just told me I soak up all this experience like a wet sponge, and how right she is. I learn from all of you and take what I can and use it in my own Recovery process. So glad to see you Rich, recovering so well, and maggie, how you brought back my christmas's of past, and made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. I did have plumbing and electricity, but my mom stayed home with us 4 girls, and my dad worked very hard to provide for us. and the wages were not that great. Always amazed me how mom did for us, she was a master at budgeting, and somehow always was able to get what we needed. My grandparents were such a part of our lives, and sewed and made our school clothes, and both mom and she would bake these wonderful things, like homemade Swedish rye, and yummy homemade orange rolls,,,and at christmas, we had a smorgasbord at christmas, with lukfist, and cranberries, and I desert called gubligat,,hehe,,I think that’s how its spelled...On christmas eve, we would have the children’s program at church, remembering wearing the whole garb, and candles on my head, celebrating the true christmas holiday..The whole church were swedish descent, in fact my grandparents met there, so did my folks..and both sides of the family were very close. We sang songs, then at the end, all of us were give a sack with apples, nuts, and popcorn, how we loved that...Later we all attended the 11:00 candle light service, we never missed that. What wonderful memories,,and things I need to also reflect on and be grateful for! Thankyou all for helping me reflect, learn, and be part of a renewed family fellowship that will help us all remember those simple and meaningful moments in life that made us who we are today... God Bless you all! Love and Hugs!!! Joni Top

12 Phil L fastfreddy066@hotmail.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 08:46:16 Last day gambled: 06/27/00 New York Dear brothers and sisters phil, a compulsive gambler in recovery. 174 days without placing a bet and living one day at a time. since everybody is taking about family today, i remember growing up with almost no money. i had 3 sisters and one brother and i was the youngest child. being the youngest i was spoiled and i never valued money. my father was a cook and my mother was a seamstress who 10-12 hours a day and six days a week. we all squeezed into a studio apartment. i always remember there wasn't enough food to go around so my mom always were the last to eat. she was very creative for us to survived. growing up with no money, i cannot believe how my compulsive gambling progressed to betting 5,000-10,000 dollars a hand at a casino. what a bogus life i was living, trying to be the big shot, taking free limo and flying to different islands to gamble. today, GA has taught me how to live on a budget and to walk around with 10-20 dollars in my pocket. i don't have any credit cards and i value every dollar i earned. your friend in recovery Phil Top

13 Donna R. nascarboy@earthlink.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 09:09:03 Last day gambled: 4/6/00 Las Vegas Nv. I'm donna, a compulsive gambler. Time to post on question 6 of the 20 questions. #6 Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency? First I need to understand what these two terms really mean. I know what they are but I've never look them up. Ambition- an eager desire for the attainment of honor, fame, or power; aim; aspiration. Efficiency- power to produce the result required; competency. From the looks of it when gambling came into my big picture both of these where thrown out the window. I lost sight of everything I wanted to do or become. Before the gambling began I started going to college; before college it was drinking and before that I terminated a pregnancy. I suppose that was what lead to the drinking because shortly after that event that's when I started. Well, in order to go to school and maintain concentration I knew I had to stop the drinking. That's what I did, over night. My ambition was at an all time high. I was very efficient in the classes I chose. I thought that I wanted to become a German interpreter. I've been going to school for almost 10 years now, just to get an associates degree. I was slipping slowly into the world of gambling. My ambition and efficiency after 3 years was faltering. I slacked off in school, and through all this I worked as a manicurist. Work was faltering too. I had to make up my gambling some where so I worked late into the night. But that was to supply even more gambling the next day. Don't know where all this is going now, so here's about today. Today I am focused on what I want to do. One thing is for sure I don't want to be a manicurist for the rest of my life. School has taken me in a new direction. Really thinking about it over the years German is not the way I want to go. There's not much use for it here in the Vegas Valley but then again relocation for anything I want to do has not been really researched. I do know the study of the stars and universe is of great interest to me. Astronomy is what I have my sights on now. Two more semesters (one day at a time and a couple of classes at a time) I'll have that Associates of Science degree and then it will be on to UNLV. I used to tease my co-workers about how long I've been going to school if they ask me about it. I'd tell them: I'm on a forty year plan for a doctoral. So far it's taken me 10 years to get an A.S. Then another 10 to tack on the B.S. 10 more for masters and then doctoral. If I look at that joke for what it is, it's progress not perfection. Better get going. Have to meet my sponsor to go over step 2. TTFN YFIR Donna R. Top

14 Don C. vze22k77@verizon.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 09:26:36 Last day gambled: 7-22-00 Dalton, Mass. Hello Everyone. Great posts today. Thank you all. Don C. is my name and I am a grateful, recovering, compulsive gambler. I have made my choice today once again to remain gamble free. I am having a restful weekend during this awful weather passing through here. It's in the 50's and thundering and lightning this morning. It's a bit strange for us this time of the year. But it will soon change as it usually does. They have always said that if you don't like the weather here, wait a minute!!! :) I really haven't much to say today, but I just wanted to say hello to all of you here. HELLO. I send each of you Love and many BIG (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) Don C. Top

15 Vicki B. human53@yahoo.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 12:02:07 Last day gambled: 12/10/00 Flint, MI Good Day Fellow GAWEB'sters! Yesterday, I was having my own pity party, Today I am here with a renewed spirit! I would like to give thanks to the folks here, my HP, and friends in the GA fellowship. H.P> lead me to the following, that I would like to share with you here... Keeping Christmas ( by Henry Van Dyke) There is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas. Are you willing... to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that men and women are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own up to the fact that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness. Are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas. Are you willing... to stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear in their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same home with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open— Are you willing to do these things, even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas. Are you willing... to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world— stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death— and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. And if you can keep it for a day, why not always? But you can never keep it alone. A Merry Christmas to all! Vicki B. Top

16 mim mailto:

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 12:14:02 Last day gambled: 12-10-00 BEAUTIFUL POST MAGGIE MAC!!! YOU MUST HAVE HAD A WONDERFUL MOTHER!! YOUR POST MADE ME CRY- IT WAS SO LOVELY! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, AND I WILL PRAY THAT EVERYONE HAS A GAMBLE FREE HOLIDAY SEASON. YNAIR (YOURS NOW AGAIN IN RECOVERY) MIM Top

17 squirt squirt1956@yahoo.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 14:41:28 Last day gambled: 12/09/00 good evening everyone!!!happy to post today. i didn’t post yesterday and i didn’t gamble .New snowfall last night and it is lovely outside!Nice relaxing day here in the hoosier.I am more than grateful to be here in recovery and to be with all of you who are sharing all the postings. GREAT POSTINGS! exp. MAGGIE MAC AND VICKI B. i wish everyone of you a wonderful new week with peace and freedom.Y F I R squirt Top

18 Sandy L. snlwrnc@netscape.net

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 16:09:02 Last day gambled: 1-25-96 New Orleans Hi,my name is Sandy and I am a compulsive gambler...I have just read all of today’s posts.Since it has been a while since I have posted,...I will try an keep it short (smile).Our stories are very important.They enrich our knowledge and understanding..everyone needs a since of belonging..that was the worst feeling when I was gambling(that sense of not belonging).I couldn't share my foolish undertaking,my pain,..now I have a sense of belonging..no matter what part of the world I go to,there are people just like me,with stories to tell,no longer to be denied,..this brings freedom from what we have done...today I did not have to make a bet,that is a gift..and I need to always remember to be grateful for this gift of not having( the need to place a bet today).I trust tomorrow will take care of itself... Merry Christmas to you and those who share it with you....Keep the faith Top

19 tree tree_sa00@hotmail.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 17:17:27 Last day gambled: 12/15/00 CT USA I wanted to just post the word damn, but after reading all these wonderful messages I'll just try again. Thank God and Tony L. for this place. Chow bella, tree Top

20 Colleen R. reardoncolleen@hotmail.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 20:24:54 Last day gambled: 8/15/00 Ashley Falls, MA Maggie Mac, I wept, thank you for you. Top

21 Jay L. jayl@azstarnet.com

Sunday, December 17, 2000, 21:59:19 Last day gambled: Nov.5/2000 tucson, AZ. Just got off the phone with this fella, who is going to be my first sponsor. I'm overwhelmed at the moment after 2 1/2 hours on the phone. If you don't have a sponsor, get one or I guarantee you'll go back gambling. I know. I’ve came into these rooms back in the early 90's, but never worked with a sponsor. Made it just over 1 yr. with no real sobriety behind my abstinence. Goodnight and god bless. Jay L. Top

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