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I let the laundry go until I can’t find socks or underwear, and I notice that Sam has a scowl on his face, because he can’t find any either. I feel guilty and promise myself that I will catch up on all the neglected chores. I naively sort the laundry into huge piles, then go search for potatoes, onions, and carrots. I then remember I haven’t defrosted the roast anyway...so I grate cheese instead and plan on sandwiches for supper again. Then I gather all the clothes I have bought on sale over the past year that need alterations (everything has to be shortened for me.) and I see that many of these have shrunk while hanging in the closet. I don’t know why that is, but it irritates me. And here is another planned catch-up task to add to my list. I am still hopeful and full of good intentions as I throw one load of laundry into the washing machine. Good! now I can run check my e-mail while it is washing. It is so strange how one Internet site leads to another on a computer and I find myself on a wild trip in computer land. If I see the words, “Free Download,” it doesn’t matter what it is, I’m sure that it will prove useful, so I download it. While downloading is sometimes brief, sometimes it is not. So I leave my computer downloading some program, while I take a look at snail mail. Bills must be taken care of, so I get the checkbook and prepare to write checks. Soon, Sam enters the kitchen, hopefully sniffing the air for the aroma of cooked food. Greatly disappointed, he slouches off in a pout, which leaves me feeling guilty again. Men just have a way of doing that with a single look. All I want to do is to get back to my downloading, but all the chores seem to clutch at me and get bigger. I get more behind as the day progresses. I decided that I was going to do something about it. The stress was beginning to annoy me and these household chores were taking up ALL my valuable time and I’d had enough of it! “ Sam,” I said, “ How would you like to start buying all the groceries and paper goods? And, now that I think of it, you could manage my checking account, and keep my checkbook balanced.” Now I might out to point out here, that bells and sirens and whistles should have been going off in my head. I pointed out to Sam, my many shortcomings as a grocery shopper. It was when I mentioned the dairy products, that I knew I had him! A look of joy and hope spread over his face as he said slowly, “ Well, I don’t know, it MIGHT work.” I KNEW that he’d want to throw away all those dairy products with expired dates. He could NEVER train me to look for expiration dates on any products I buy. Somehow, I knew that I had found his vulnerable spot. He is a stickler for high quality. After all, he married me, didn’t he? And he believes in current dates on stuff. Sometimes I wonder if, one day he will notice that MY date is none too current, and if I’ll wind up gone with the cheese! It was after Sam got to thinking about taking over the grocery shopping and decided it was a splendid idea, that I sprung it on him that he could pay my monthly bills too! He is better at remembering things than I am. Besides, I don’t have time to think about those things, now that I am on the Internet and have to download all these important and wonderful things. I reminded Sam that I was an indifferent shopper, and totally without imagination. I just want to get it over with, so, with a belligerent and resentful attitude, I grab a cart and point it down an isle at a speed better suited to the Indianapolis 500 Speedway. I then become a “souped-up,” robot. I buy exactly the same things, month after month, whether we like them or not. That doesn’t matter to me. If I have a cupboard filled with lots of canned green beans, corn, and peas I feel secure. I was married to Sam for sixteen years before he got up the courage to tell me that it was one of the kids who loved homemade banana cake...NOT HIM! I hear, without really hearing, you know? I am such a creature of habit that even my hearing falls into a pattern. I THOUGHT I heard him say that he liked banana cake! Sam went on a maniacal spree to establish order, by systematically removing every container of sour cream, cottage cheese, and cream cheese that did not bear this week’s date, from our refrigerator. Humph! He CLAIMED that he found several containers that were dated in May of 1996. (I don’t believe it for a minute.) We have been on this new system for a month now. I have to say that meals are much less boring, now that Sam is doing the shopping. If one finds anything green in our refrigerator now, it’s SUPPOSED to be green! |
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| (3rd Place,
W.V.P.S. ’99)
A FISHIN’ TRIP
Vacation's first day, with my Dad in charge. A new bass boat and he was the skipper. Old Dad soon pulled in a bass that was large. My job, I learned, was to clean that nipper.
Although I believed such jobs were unfair, I lent my finest efforts to the task. I was nearly finished when, I declare, "Here’s you another!" Dad’s grin was a mask.
There was no good way to get out and walk Or I'd have been a good two miles, away. Trapped in the boat, outwitted by smooth talk, I blistered red by the end of first day.
Day two arrived, my alternatives slim. I had little choice but to persevere, This Dad-planned fun was beginning to dim, When I got a painful, infected ear.
The third day's sky turned a weird, butternut, Black clouds whirling as we made for the shore. Dad's new motor wheezed and threw up a gut And I almost couldn't take any more.
We rowed for our lives, out-racing that storm, Breakers crashing, drenching all with each wave. Husband, Father, my only son, first born, What if all were drowning, which must I save?
As I pondered worriedly the boat’s bow Rammed the bank practically throwing us out. Lightning nips accelerated us now, " To the cabin, hurry! " I heard Dad shout.
Cold, wet and soggy, we all made it in, Closed the door and stood dripping for a spell. Then, appearing upon Dad’s face, a grin." When is supper, now, wouldn’t bass be swell? |
| Lou Harper began writing
in 1996. Her earliest writings were usually humorous essays about her children,
grandchildren, and her dear, beloved "Sam." Lou is a member of various
State Poetry Societies, which include; The West Virginia Poetry Society,
The Poetry Society of Oklahoma, and The National Federation of State Poetry
Societies, Inc.
Lou’s writing accomplishments include a 3rd place win in the W.V.P.S. contest in 1999, and 3 publications by Capper’s Magazine, and a first and fourth place in the ‘2000 P.S.O. contest. She is also a Charter member of the Southeastern Oklahoma Musicians, Singers and Songwriters Association, Inc. She is a regular contributor to the annual contests held by the Arkansas Writers’ Conference. Currently, Lou is serving as President of the Southern Oklahoma Writers’
Guild and is the creator of the S.O.W.G. monthly newsletter. In the role
of Guild President, Lou follows the advice offered by her daughter;
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