If the world was fair to men

1. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur on leap years.

2. On Mother's Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.

3. St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.

4. Instead of 'beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."

5. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

6. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.

7. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a 'Cheers for the sex - now f#*k off" 

would pretty much do it.

8. Birth control would come in ale or lager.

9. When the Police pull you over, every smart-ale answer you responded
with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you
were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the
place." Cop: "Nice one, that's $20.00 off".

10. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

11. Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

12. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

13. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

14. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

15. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for
absence and/or poor time keeping.

16. Lifeguards could remove people for violating "public ugliness" laws.

17. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

18. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.

19. "Fancy a shag?" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.

20. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to
slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone

Sent by Steve. 

You would like that Steve, wouldn't you?