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       Wednesday, June 25, 2003

I feel so crappy. i'm going to get the ax today. well, sorta. i'm just gonna get written up. i was short of 40. damn. at least i hope they don't think i stole it. oh damn. oh well. moron that i am. can't count worth my worthless life.

did i mention that i got a piano. sorta. a keyboard that performs just like one. pedal and all. it's touch sensitive. so it's really even better than a piano since one can play midi files on it. it's like a music computer. it's quite nice. spent my first (and hopefully not last) paycheck on it. of course w/ ma's help. ma's so nice to me. 630 was the total. i had 230. she pick up 400.

really thrilled. and i also bought a 30 "Definite Classics" book w/ about 500 pages of music scores. i am also thrilled about that book. i really like it. it's exactly my level. well, a bit, ok, somewhat a whole level above of me. nevertheless, it's something, w/ lots and lots and lots, ok u get the point, of practice, i can actually play it. i've been practicing on Strauss's Blue Danube and Pachelbel's Canon, the semi-sophisticated version. i know Canon before. in a two forms actually since i was so obsessed w/ it. but this Canon version is a bit more complicated, which is exactly what i'm looking for. the other Canon baby-versions were so simple it sounded no good.

i'm going back to read Lilac Summers' wks. i really like her humor. she's a cool person. i'm enjoying everything so far except well, what's going to happen to me today. i'm going to get bitched at. god. last thing i need is a bitch. oh well. so's life. serves me right for being a moron.

oh and i also got a pretty nice macro that i worked on in June that i'm still waiting for some inspiration to polish and publish. i also v. h. to be working on macro once again. i really enjoy macro more than html. it's so much funner and versatile and seamless. i got to get my butt off and finish my macro. i am fairly pleased w/ the result. although i think i will more likely scrap the whole thing and begin anew since the picture i chose was, well, so boring and all...
And it is now 6:38 AM.

My job hunt is over! YEA. I'm so happy. I got a job w/ a really good pay too. Well, really good considering my decidedly low saling rate in teh job market. I am working at Sam's Club. Hehe. I am sorta scared though 'cause even though I won't be doing menial tasks such as those at Garden Ridge, which I will refrain from saying, I will have to lift 30, 40, 50 lbs, VERY OFTEN. That's quite frightening. I'm quite weak. The only comfort I have right now is that I have been subjected to that much weight before when I carry around my luggage. But then again, they're on wheels. Oh god. I'm prolly going to get fired the first wk of wk. And I've tried so freaking hard to find a job too! I gotta pray and thank god tonight since i forgot to last night.

I went through THREE interviews to get that job. wtf? merely for a cashier position. nehoo, it's 8 and hour. so whatever. and i also crapped up on 3 q's. hehe. i really mean crap up. the manager had to reask the q's to me and ask for my explanation as to y in the world did i put that. what an idiot i am. whatever.

hmmmm, oh and we also got cable today. it's quite cool. 6 hundred and something odd channels. disney and all that good stuff. very very excited yet i still haven't laid my eyes on the beauty since macro has wholly possessed me. I am now a slave to macromedia. i hate liking something to where it's a fault. i just can't stop working on it. rt now, after i finish blogging, i'm going to find inspiration to improve my flash page. it's quite nice ^_~, look at me, tooting my own horn. nehoo, hopefully i get to keep the freaking job. i'm quite scared since everyone there's big. as fat as i am, i still am tiny compare to all of them. quite appalling, i think.
And it is now 10:12 PM.

I am such an ass. What the hell is wrong with me?! I can't even pass an interview for a crappy ass job. What would your boss say is your weakness?! WTF. I shoulda known what to say. I've even researched this damn topic, with this exact damn subject. I was studdering like a fool. And it's not as if it's some prestigious job either. It sucks. It's for telemarketing. Ma totally put me off when she told me she rather me work at Garden Ridge.

God. I wouldn't have taken the job anyway. Sour grapes,huh? 'Cause I hate begging. I'm dogged as hell yet I hate insistency.

Damn. Now I'm jobless. I need money to fund my crappy education. All B's except ONE F'ing a this semester. What a damn jackass I am.

What happened to my a+'s. What the hell happened to them.

I'm a fool. A damn fool.

I wish I was less of a fool. Ma's last vacation day. I spent it doing foolish things. I didn't even take advantage of it and help out ma. I'm such a goddamn fool. So damn ignorant and selfish.

I'm right now wasting my time. Yet again. Although I must say, flash is so damn cool. I'm learning flash. I'm getting tired. My brain activity is surpassing its load capacity.

IDIOT.
And it is now 10:08 AM.

I'm the world's dumbest person. Took me two days to write ONE FREAKING METHOD. ONE METHOD.

Sophia (she's sooo sweet) wrote up everything. I feel extremely useless. ABSOLUTELY useless. I wish I could help her more.... I hate this imbalance. I DETEST. But I'm too stupid ot help her.

I think partnering up with her has helped me w/ the wkload 400% but I think I've slowed her down sooooooooo much.

STUPID STUPID RETARD.
And it is now 5:57 PM.

first day of classes for second semester. joy. wish i could be home. miss ma and pa and thien and ngoc. wish i could be home. oh prof wolczanski replied to my thank you letter:

Kim:

Nice to hear from you, and I was happy to see you did so well! Best
of luck in the Engineering College! Thank you for your kind comments.

PTW

>Dear Professor Wolczanski,
>
>Hi! How are you? I hope I'm not being intrusive by
>emailing you. This is Kim Truong. I don’t know if
>you remember me. I was in your chem. 211 class and was
>one of the two who frequently went to your office
>hours. I just want to say thank you for helping me in
>chemistry. I wish I weren’t so intimidated at the
>beginning of the semester to come to your office hours.
>I find your office hours very helpful. I also really
>enjoyed your lectures. They were very interesting and
>witty! Most of all, thank you for giving me extra
>credits because I could not have gotten an A+ in your
>class without your help! Thank you so much. I hope you
>have a great second semester.
>
>Sincerely,
>Kim Truong

--
Peter T. Wolczanski
George W. & Grace L. Todd Professor of Chemistry
Baker Laboratory, Department of Chemistry & Chemical Biology
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York 14853
(607) 255-7220
FAX (607) 255-4137

Just thought that was so cool. Got to start on profiles.
And it is now 7:46 AM.

Took nano test. was a LOT harder than i expected. but oh well, i studied. sorta. hehe.

so i was really happy until i found out htat my bro fail his ap midterm. god do i feel depress. can't talk anymore.
And it is now 9:20 AM.