LEECH, MALCOLM AND A POLICE OFFICER ALL SIT AT A TABLE IN THE POLICE STATION
LEECH: I demand to speak to my lawyer! I'm innocent, do you hear me? I'm innocent, but misfortune placed me in a tight position. Any sane person would have done the same! Judging the agony my ankle has caused me over the past 16 years...
POLICE OFFICER: SILENCE!
LEECH IS SILENT
POLICE OFFICER: If I receive one more interruption from you, Miss Leech, you shall sleep in the cell tonight! Now, answer me these questions, Miss Leech, why did you take the money?
LEECH: It was a gift from Mr. Hall, it was rightfully mine!
POLICE OFFICER: On condition that you reunited the daughter and son-in-law of Mr. Hall, whom you split up. You performed deceit and took the money without fulfilling the task.
LEECH: I already had the money, and Mr. Hall knew nothing about the plan. So I figured that it was just a spoilt daughter's foolish attempt at revenge. Surely she can't decide what her father does with his money?
POLICE OFFICER: All of Mr. Hall's money comes from Caroline's bank account.
LEECH: Bugger! I didn't know that!
POLICE OFFICER: In fact, Mr. Hall is not allowed to take money out at all, you see, he lost all his money in Las Vegas in 1987, and therefore turned to his daughter for money. She takes out money for him, she examines his lists of needs carefully before taking the money out. And therefore this will prevent him being reckless with the money. When Caroline does not want to give money to her father for any reason, she does not give it him, for it is her bank account.
LEECH: Why didn't anyone tell me? And how did John get the £500?
POLICE OFFICER: Mr. Hall didn't tell you about Las Vegas because he probably wants to put the past behind him, wouldn't anybody? And John got the money because he stole from Caroline's purse!
LEECH: What? I didn't know that money was STOLEN!
MALCOLM: You did know! Didn't you?
POLICE OFFICER: Of course she knew, she's just bluffing to get out of the situation. Now, Mrs. Leech, stop lying and tell us what's really going on...
LEECH: I don't know anything! And if Caroline knew that the money had been stolen from her purse, why didn't she call the police in the first place?
POLICE OFFICER: Because she loves her husband more than her money, she knew she had to give up one or the other. She had just lost her husband, and knew that if she called the police, he would just think she was making a fuss over nothing, caring about the money more than him, and therefore wouldn't go back to her. However, she wanted one or the other, so to make sure she did get one or the other, instead of losing both, she gave you a task to do...
LEECH: I'll take it from here...
POLICE OFFICER: NO! I will continue. You didn't complete the task because you wanted the stolen money. You wanted to buy 1000 lbs. worth of drugs in a secret base in Boston, to share between yourself and John, and the reason it was stolen money was because the money would be traced to Caroline's bank account - through the numbers on the notes! Being a woman, you could pretend to be Caroline and she would get arrested later, and she wouldn't be able to explain that her father stole the money, because the people at the drug base would remember that it was a woman of her description who bought the drugs. Also she wouldn't have an alibi because you knew she was on a business trip that week. In the time you would have bought the drugs, she would have been on a train in the middle of nowhere.
LEECH: Drugs? Pretend to be Caroline? I don't know how you've come to that conclusion.
POLICE OFFICER: Because U.S. Police Officers overturned a drug base in Boston yesterday, and they found your name on their mailing list. Everyone on it has been arrested.
LEECH: WHAT? WHAT'S MY NAME DOING ON THERE? I've never dealt with drugs in my life! There must be a mistake!
MALCOLM: Yes! I agree. She wouldn't do anything like that at all. She was going to get her leg fixed, you can clearly see she has a bad leg.
POLICE OFFICER: We'll deal with that story later. Mrs. Leech, you have one phone call to make, you can use it to get bail. If you fail to get bail you will have to spend the night in the cell.
LEECH: Right. One call.
LEECH IS IN THE PRISON PHONE BOOTHS, ON THE PHONE.
LEECH: Hello, Maud, the plan didn't work, I'm in prison, can you please come and bail me out?
CHINESE TAKEAWAY NEAR SLOUGH: Halo! You order on phoning! That good! Want you Chop Suey, Wung Wung Beans, prawn balls, dog meat - with Crunchy Canines? Say me you address....
LEECH: Oops. I have the wrong number.
LEECH PUTS PHONE DOWN AND TURNS TO FACE THE POLICE OFFICER AND MALCOLM.
POLICE OFFICER: You failed to get bail. Hmmmm... DANNY! CLEAN OUT CELL 9!
MALCOLM: NO! Mrs. Leech, I'll bail you out, I won't let you down like the rest of my family have...
LEECH: Oh, thank you.
LEECH AND MALCOLM HUG.
POLICE OFFICER: DANNY! PUT DOWN YER MOP!
End of episode 7.
