McDonaldAEs Help

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonaldAEs
fast-food
establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!  (editorAEs note: I would have hired him
too!!)

NAME:
Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION:
Reclining.  Ha!  But seriously, whateverAEs available.  If I was in a
position
to be picky, I wouldnAEt be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Oviz style servance
package.
If thatAEs not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than IAEm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it-notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 P.M., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but theyAEre better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FOR LIFTING UP
TO
50 LBS?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be oDo you have a car that
runs?oe

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks IAEm
the
greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, IAEd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE:
Scorpio with Libra rising.




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