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********** Sex Quotes **********
Why Girls Are Confusing :
I work alot / I'm not paying attention to her needs.
I don't work alot / I'm a good for nothing bum.
I want to be with her every chance I get / I'm too attached.
I don't care when I'm with her / I'm distant
I cry during a movie / I'm not manly enough for her.
I don't cry / I'm a jerk with no feelings.
I want to have sex / Thats all I want
I don't want to have sex / I don't find her attractive
Wife and dog missing. Reward for the dog.
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Guys are like parking lots, all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped
Sex is like a bridge game, if you don't have a good partner you had better have a good hand
Females do pursue me, if you count mosquitos
When I was growing up, all my friends wanted to have sex with anything that moved. Why limit yourself, I told them.
They say making love with me is like a roller coaster ride. Over far too quickly, and afterwards they wanna throw up.
How's life treating you? Like it caught me sleeping with its wife
Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts.
Sex is like air, it isn't important unless you aren't getting any
You know, putting up a tent is like making love to a beautiful woman. You undo the zip, pop in your pole, and slip into the old bag
While money can't buy love, It can buy a damn good imitation
Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe
Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore goes to a party and has sex with everyone. A bitch goes to a party and has sex with everyone but you
Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit.
Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.
My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex.
Camouflage condoms : So they won't see you coming
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Where is an elephants sex organ? In his feet. If he steps on you, you're fucked.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick
Do not walk behind me for you are not my slave, and do not walk next to me, even though you are my equal.. but walk five steps in front of me cause baby you got a nice ass
Your dad wasted a good load on you.
We spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.
Life is a bitch, then you marry one
I don't like small cars or really big women but somehow I always find myself in em
I don't know if I'm a player. Ask one of my girlfriends.
To all you virgins out there. Thanks for nothing
God created men first because you always need a rough draft before the final masterpiece!
If all men are pigs, then you can call me Babe.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it feels good till you realize you're fucking yourself...
If a man says something in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
Fat girls are like mopeds. There fun to ride, but you don't want anyone seeing you riding them
If a chick ever complains about being "fat" just tell her you know an exercise that burns 500 calories an hour.. unless she really is fat, then just shut up
Life sucks then you marry a bitch who doesn't.
Top 10 things men know about women.
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10. Women have boobs.
Life is like a prick. When it's hard you get fucked. When it's soft you can't beat it.
Men are like tile floors, lay them down right the first time and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think
Women are like phones, they like to be held, talked to and if you press the wrong buttons you'll get disconnected
Some guys say suck it and i say, no thanks I choke on small objects.
I'm Not A BI*CH Im Tha BI*CH