1. Snoopy or Spongebob?

2. Huckleberry Finn or Portrait of a Lady?

3. Harry Potter films or documentaries?

4. Are you now or have you ever been?

5. If you were stranded on a deserted island, and could only have one companion, what color pants would you like to have?

6. Beans?

7. Which piano key do you most vilify?

8. If you were mugged, how long would it take you to set your VCR to tape “Lost”?

9. Any false teeth?

10. Have you ever had a flesh-eating virus?

11. Should Cathy have married Linden, or was she just dooming the next generation?

12. If you could be any vegetable of your choice, why would you want to?

13. Who is your phrenologist, and why?

14. In 25 words or less, describe your navel.

15. Which of Aesop’s fables is your favorite, and which television shows have ripped it of—I mean, adapted it?

Thank you for taking my meaningless survey.