Reign of Fire. Movie. Starring Matthew Mcwhatever his name is

Holy crap Juliya on Much Music's Uranium Block is hot!! How does this relate to Reign of Fire. It doesn't. I just thought I' start this review off with a hoot! HOOT!!

Reign of Fire was pretty cool. The thing you have to understand is that this isn't a constant carnage fest so a lot of people really didn't like it. Including my cousin, but he's a movie snob, and we forced him to go. On the other hand my OTHER cousin and her boyfriend LOVED it. But they hated Ghost World. So my whole family is stupid. Go figure. But I liked them both...and that's why I RULE. Love me.

So we've established its not a carnage-fest and that most of the dragonage is shown in glimpses. I think the best way to relate it is Bruce Jones' beginning arc of the Hulk. You only caught glimpses of the beast so it made it a little more suspenseful. Something I very much appreciated in this flick. And you don't get to see McConnaHEY (that's how I'm spelling it. IRISH GO HOME!) till halfway through the flick. Nice, I know. It basically focuses on a young man who awakened the first dragon in London, and his struggle to keep a small town alive in his big'ol castle. Also, instead of showing the dragons plundering earth we're shown glimpses of what they did as an issue of Time magazine is flipped through courtesy of the wind. I didn't know they got Time in England. Oh well. We're shown shots of the Eiffel Tower on fire, dragons plundering NYC, and the rest of the world being turned into a bar b que. Nice I know. A lot of people will tell you they just copped out and used Photoshop to tell their story, and they did...but they used it to forward their story oh so much better than say...Independence Day where you got a really crappy invasion scene.

So halfway through McConnaHEY and his American buddies take over the town cause they FLEW in from America. Kentucky to be precise. Yay. They're the ONLY people in like the past 30 years to fly to England. So they mingle, McConnaHEY goes all Stone Cold, and makes the townspeople follow him to LONDON to fight the boss dragon. I won't tell you why he's the boss...but it makes some sorta weird sense when you see it. YOU WILL SEE IT. But they get incinerated and big poppa Dragon goes and blows up the Castle. HOW he found out they were from the castle is anyone's guess...but it LOOKED BAD ASS. So therefore who needs an explanation?? I don't. So this makes the main character get all balls. He help McConnaHEY and his new american broad he loves go and take down Big Poppa Dragon.

Ok so that was like Tres half ass...but I don't wanna spoil the cool parts. It had the three great areas of conflict in it, and stuff blew up. What more could you ask for? Monkeys? Oh yeah well T.S.

It was fucking cool...but it was missing something. Maybe it was the aforementioned Monkeys.

For this fab movie I give it 7 Angry Movie Snob Cousins outta 10.


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