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Days Stretching Into
Months
I sat back and watched the whole world and his wife go idly by
Acting out their soap opera lives regardless and
Completely oblivious to my very existence
Numb to my deep and overwhelming pain
Tormented and torn I watched as others left me behind.
Unable to keep up with their quickening pace, abandoned and forgotten.
Empty days stretching into months, lapsing into a year…
No longer part of the society of which I had for so long
Strived to become an invisible component of
A society I struggled to find a place and role within all my life
Now an outsider, different, excluded and desperately alone.
I dwelled in the deepest darkest chasms of grief and fear.
Unable to leave the safe shelter of my gold plated prison
Empty days stretching into months, lapsing into year after year…
People, people everywhere!…. People talking, people laughing
People staring, people whispering!……….was it about me?
Could they see the disability, so hidden yet so prominent?
Would they understand and accept me for who I am?
Will I have to see the sadness in their eyes when they realise what
I have?
Will they ever know how much their pity hurts, eating away at my soul?
Empty days stretching into months lapsing into year after year after
year….
What had I left to offer, a broken shell of a once bright and shining
person
A once talented and intelligent being, what was it that was left?
My own true self forgotten, buried under the rubble of insecurity and
fear
Talents hidden, stripped from my grasp, awaiting rediscovery and rebirth
I knew nothing of them; I knew nothing of me, of anything,
Lost in a world I no longer wished to be a part of. All hope gone….
Empty days stretching into months lapsing into year after year after
year
after year……………..AFTER YEAR!………..
"Hello"…….
"How would you like
to come out today?"
"The sun
is shining!"
"Look at that sunshine!"
"Take my hand and
step through the door!"
After five years
of isolation within the prison walls of social exclusion
Somebody notice
I wasn’t there………….and came back to find me!
"Who am I?" said
I.
Hands trembling
I took a cautious but desperate grasp
Walking through
that door and into the sunshine once more
Sunny days, leaping into months, bounding into year after year after
year……
and with just a little bit of luck…… lasting FOREVER :>)
It was just five short years ago, that my own volunteer mentor took
my hand and coaxed me back into society through sport. Slowly I began
to remember myself, my personality, my talents and personal attributes.
As I began to come to terms with my self others began to learn and accept
me for who I really am.
Social inclusion can be a sometimes slow and painful process.
But it’s a process in which everybody learns something. It is a powerful
thing; it changed my life forever! It has given me hope, joy and
happiness but most of all the deepest sense of inner peace. I now
leap from adventure to adventure, sampling the world, savouring its tastes
and smells and enjoying every single moment of it.
Though I can’t guarantee that Togle will do the same for its members,
I can guarantee that it will help to open the door for many young people!
It is the members themselves who go through that door and make the miracles
happen. It is an honour and a privilege to work with all the young
people involved with Togle, disabled and non-disabled, members, volunteers’
families and clubs. And a sheer joy to watch as they all go through
their own doors into the sunshine and discover all their own talents, skills
hopes and dreams.
back to Togle pages
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