I gained my first taste with blogging shortly after the 2004 presidential election, when a blog opposed to John Kerry’s presidential candidacy rebranded itself Ankle Biting Pundits. This particular blog did something that was unusual at the time. It permitted readers to submit their own stories for possible publication. Granted, the blog’s management would not publish just any story. Still, the possibility of me getting accepted was too much for me to pass up.

All that I needed was a juicy story that the blog’s management wasn’t getting from another source. That story showed up on the front page of my local daily newspaper, and the story was not yet national news. It was the story about Oklahoma’s infamous penis-pump judge.

A sitting judge was put on trial for a sexual felony, namely his use of a penis pump behind his bench while he presided over trials. Yes, what he did was sick, which is what made the story juicy. Using a local daily newspaper – as well as local news stations – meant that I could read daily updates on what was going on during the trial and then pass them on to the blog.

What made the story more entertaining was the fact that the defense attorney was engaging in sleazy behavior, the kind of behavior that gives trial lawyers a bad reputation. Indeed, the daily news reports were often more about the defense attorney than about the defendant.

The trial ended with a conviction, resulting in the defendant losing both his freedom and his public pension. Eventually, the defendant’s name disappeared from local news stories. However, the defense attorney has continued to make a name for himself, but not necessarily for good reasons.

A more-recent criminal case that the attorney was a part of was the case of Oklahoma’s version of Barney Fife. In that case, the attorney represented Robert Bates, a reserve deputy sheriff who worked for the Tulsa County Sheriff’s Office. Bates had shot and killed a crime suspect who was face down on the ground and controlled by other law officers. Bates hadn’t intended to use his firearm. He thought he was using his Taser instead.

If only Barney had kept that bullet in his shirt pocket, then he wouldn’t have gotten into trouble, but I digress.

Bates was convicted of second-degree manslaughter and received a four-year prison sentence, but not before the defense attorney tried to tamper with the jury. The Tulsa World reports that the defense attorney “tried to elicit testimony from a private investigator who spoke with three Bates trial jurors about purported sentencing confusion. But the judge blocked the testimony from investigator Rodney Baker, saying he had questioned each juror himself on the four-year prison recommendation and that each one answered affirmatively.”^viii

It is fun to blog about an unscrupulous attorney, especially when he is I. Shyster from the law office of Dewey, Shaftem & Howe.

By the way, Oklahoma’s Barney Fife was released from prison rather early. NewsOn6.com states, “Bates served less than half of his four-year sentence.”^ix No, I do not understand why Barney was released early, but it must have something to do with the state of Oklahoma. After all, Oklahoma is nicknamed after a group of law-breaking cheaters.

The original Sooners were people who cheated during a federal land run, and what they did was illegal. That is why I sing . . .

Hey, if you don’t like my singing, then be thankful that this publication doesn’t have audio.