What had become routine in my home had occurred again. I was ready to go to church, while my teenage son was still in bed. My son had underwent believer’s baptism. Yet, it was rare for him to accompany me to church. Once again, it appeared to me that I had not measured up to being a Christian.
I thought about why I allegedly didn't measure up. It was a combination of things that I had seen and heard in churches. “A Christian man is supposed to manage his household well,” or so I had been told. All of the favored men in churches brought their entire households to church every Sunday. “See! That man brought all five of his children with him to church. So, he must be right with God.”
There is more. Americans tend to favor a man who is college educated, who has a white-collar managerial job or who is a so-called “professional”, whose entire household goes to church each Sunday, with every child well behaved and with a wife who has a flawless outward appearance. Such a man is a shoo-in when it comes to who will be looked upon as being successful as a Christian. After all, who ever heard of a church leader who was a blue-collar worker who didn't have a Bachelor Degree?
I couldn’t live up to that standard.
In a sermon on the book of Philippians, Rev. Mike Benson describes all sorts of things that Christians expect “righteous” people to do or not to do. He describes that “righteousness” as “a righteousness that looks good on the outside, man, it looks churchy, it looks religious, but it leads to destruction. It will rob you of joy, and ultimately it leads you further and further away from God.”
Rev. Benson is correct. I was robbing myself of joy by focusing on the external “righteousness” that I perceived other men as having, which is really no righteousness at all. As Rev. Benson says, “Righteousness is a gift to be accepted, not a status to be achieved.”
I had made the made the mistake of trying to measure up to Christians who met an earthly criteria for success. That was my mistake. I don’t have to have a particular outward appearance in order to impress God. I don’t have to live up to a man-made standard of what a Christian man is supposed to be like.
All that I have to do is to be the person that God created me to be and to abide in Christ (John 15:5). If others think that I don’t measure up to an alleged “Christian” ideal, then so be it. I have God’s unmerited favor (a.k.a. grace) anyway. If I am nothing on Earth other than “a doorkeeper in the house of my God” (Psalm 84:10), then I still have a room waiting for me in God’s house (John 14:2-3). I have no objection to being the low man on the earthly totem-pole as long as God is glorified through my life. After all, my purpose on Earth is to glorify God, not myself.
By the way, since that Sunday when I felt down about my son's lack of church involvement, I learned that my son is autistic, and his autism influences his desire to stay away from church services. So, I had been beating up myself over something that was beyond my control.
Sermon Reference:
Benson, M. (2017, September 3). Philippians Week 3 - Rejoice in the Lord Alone. Discovery Bible Fellowship. Retrieved from http://www.dbfchurch.com/messages/philippianstoliveischrist/