God said to Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news. First the good
news. I have given you a brain and a penis.
"The bad news: I've only given you enough blood to work one of them at a
time!"
Here are some ass samples? Where do you fall???
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_^^_) a bubble ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_o^^o_) a wise ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with
a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants
to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increase job satisfaction because, if you have a bad job, you don't
care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather
come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when
they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the
bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees work is better after they've had
a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on
their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
21. It promotes foreign relations with the former
Soviet Union.
22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen
as "gross."
25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.
WHAT WOMEN THINK OF US GUYS...
Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like.....Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like.....Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like.....High Heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like.....Curling Irons.
They're always hot and they're always in your hair.
Men are like.....Mini Skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Men are like.....Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Department stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like.....Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like.....Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like.....Chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.....Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night
long.
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the
bathroom.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and what's left is
handicapped.
