A Musical Interlude

This edition sees a classic release from the RTR Song Book. This month's re-mastered RASC related song is a tribute to life at Rossington ASC, and is titled:

'(Everybody's Free To Wear) Goggles'

(-sung/spoke to the tune of '(Everybody's Free To Wear) Sunscreen' by Baz Luhrman)

Boys and Girls of the club of '99 Where are my goggles? If I could find only one thing for the future, my goggles would be it. The long-term benefits of my goggles have been proved by scientists, Where as the following advice has no basis more reliable than my own Rossington experience. I will despense this advice now.

Enjoy the content and comedy of 'Raising The Roof'. Never mind, you won't understand the content and comedy of 'Raising The Roof' until the next issue. But trust me, in 10 years time you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall, in a way you can't grasp now, how many galas lay before you and how stupid you really looked. You are not as slow as you imagine. Do one event every open meet that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other peoples' hats. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Tumble turn. Don't take your time on a relay. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end it's only another cannon Remember trophies you receive. Forget the disqualifications. If you succeed in doing this don't bother to tell me how, I already do. Keep your old kickboards, Throw away your old flippers. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do in the METS. The most interesting people I know didn't know at twenty to two what they wanted to do either. Some of the most interesting 14-year-olds I know still don't. Be kind to your knees you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll swim, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll win a race, more than likely you won't. Maybe you'll swim a 50, Maybe you'll dance to S-Club 7 in a Monday night training session. Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it, but at the METS disco. Follow Gerry's directions even if you don't undestand them. Do not read swimming magazines they will only make you feel slow. Get to know your relay team, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your team-mates, they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to go and swim for Armthorpe in the future. Understand that team-mates come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in speed and training, Because the slower you get the more you need the people you beat when you were young. Live on Radburn Road once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live on Littleworth Lane once, but leave before it makes you soft. Except certain unalienable truths. Fees will rise, your trunks will become baggy and see-through and you too will get old, And when you do you'll fantasise that when you were young fees were reasonable, your trunks were fine and swimmers respected their coaches. Respect your coach. Expect everyone else to support you. Maybe you'll have a good team, Maybe you'll have a bus to galas, But you never know when either one might run out. Don't get too much chlorine in your hair or by the time you're 40 it'll look 85. Be careful whose magazine you buy, but be patient with he who writes it. 'Raising The Roof' is a form of nostalgia. Producing it involves fishing gala results from nowhere, writing it up, re-writing the rubbish parts, and selling it for exactly what it's worth. Just help me find my goggles.

<ENTIRELY REAL ADVERTISEMENT>

Coming soon to a record shop near you...

'MUSIC TO GET MEDALS BY'

one hour and a half of classic tracks that should accompany any Doncaster Championships medal ceremony*

*Each track lasts thirty seconds, won't start when you're ready and will be played up to seven times in a row.

including the following top records:

Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

Scatman - Scatman John

I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester - The Wurzels

Guaglione - Perez 'Prez' Prado

Shadappa Your Face - Joe Dolchi

Twist & Shout - Chaka Demus & Pliers (with Jack Radics and Taxi Gang)

Diamond Lights- Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle

Lets Get Ready To Rhumble - PJ & Duncan AKA

Deeply Dippy - Right Said Fred

Would I Lie To You? - Charles and Eddie

Baby Come Back - Pato Banton (featuring Robin & Ali Campbell)

We All Stand Together - Paul McCartney & The Frog Chorus

Love City Groove - Love City Groove

Save Your Love - Rene and Renata

I Wish I Could Fly - Keith Harris and Orville

*Unfortunately this recording is not available in any shops, not even the really good ones, bet you're gutted now aren't you.