"Give it up, kid!" Bowser roared. "O-o-k-k-k-ay-y,"stuttered a very frightened koopa freshmen. Quickly Karmen Koopa dropped all of his lunch money on the ground. Bowser released his hold of Karmen's shirt and scooped up the change. "Later, punk," Bowser grumbled as Karmen hit the floor with a thud. "Anytime Bowser," Karmen said as he ran off, scared he might get a swirly. "Ohhhh....he is so brave," Lena sighed as she watched Bowser stalk off. Lena took a deep breath, then jogged after Bowser. "Hi, Bowser!!!" Lena called out cheerfully as she waved excitedly. "Ugh, not her again," Bowser mumbled as Lena caught up to him. "Hi, Bowser!!!" she screeched again. "Oh, hi Lena." Sometimes Bowser just wanted to slug Lena, but no matter what he had always been taught not to hit girls. He remembered what his father always said, "You have to be pretty low to hit a girl. Besides, you'll be suprised how hard they'll hit back." "Hiii!" Lena thought the world of Bowser, and had the words Queen Lena Koopa written all over her notebook. Her dream was to marry Bowser when he became king and have about 8 or 9 kids. Of course, even if Bowser weren't a prince she would still marry him. Or at least be his lab partner. "Well, I better be going to class now," Bowser said, trying hard to get away. "But lunch is next , silly." "Oh, yeah." Bowser believed her. Judging by the size of Lena's stomach, she probably never forgot lunch. "Well, then I better be getting off to lunch." Bowser started to edge away. "Okay," Lena said sadly, and turned to leave. "HEY!" she cried suddenly. "What?" Bowser moaned. "Why don't you eat with me Bowser?" "Oh, well, actually I was, um, I was.....heh." "Come on!" Lena grabbed Bowser's arm and dragged him away. " Well, actually I was going to eat with Wart," Bowser said. Suddenly Wart appeared beside Bowser. "Weren't we, Wart?" "Ummm…. Yeah." Wart was confused, but by the look on Bowser's face, Wart knew that it was urgent. "You are?" Lena looked crestfallen. "Umm….see, Wart, I was just telling Lena how we are eating together." Bowser shot Wart a pleading over Lena' s head. "Yeah! We were! Sooo… we'd better go get our trays and get in line." Bowser yanked himself out of Lena' s grip, then he and Wart hurried off. "But wait! I was going to pay for it….." Lena' s voice trailed off. Sadly Lena turned away, her appetite completely gone. "Oh, why does this always happen to me? Do you suppose it's that I'm fat?" Lena asked herself aloud. It's just that every time Bowser turns me down I eat. And that's a lot. Now Lena was thinking to herself, not wanting anyone to hear her thoughts, for she was slightly embarrassed with both her weight and obsession with Bowser. Perhaps I could do something about it. Yeah, yeah, I bet I could! Suddenly Lena was filled with enthusiasm. So for the next three weeks she went away to a spa, where she learned how to eat right and stay healthy. Plus, Juniper, her personal trainer, had convinced her to let the natural redness in her hair shine through. On the last day of her stay, she was thin, perky and pimple free. She also had gorgeous red hair that Juniper described as "ravishing". Wait until Bowser sees me. He'll surely go out with me now! Lena thought happily. Just wait. While Lena was away at the spa, Bowser had his eye on Peach. Peach was desired by all the males at KoopaVille High, whether it was nerds or koopas or members of the Mushroom Clan or even humans! Bowser decided that he was going to ask out Peach. After all, he was a prince and she was a princess. And a princess deserved a prince. Even if her father was the king of Mushroom Land, that was all right. (In case you are wondering, the king of the Koopa Kingdom and the king of the Mushroom Kingdom were arch rivals. But I won't go into that, it's not important.) So anyway, Bowser had his mind made up to talk to Peach that afternoon, maybe invite her to a movie, you know, the works. Little did he know that Lena was coming back that day, and his life would never be the same again. Neither would Lena' s. "Hey, Peach." Bowser leaned against Peach's locker, almost crushing it with his spikes. "Hi, Bowser." Peach pushed her curly, strawberry blonde hair out of her eyes and smiled. Bowser really gave her the creeps at times, but she had to admit that she liked him. "Hey, ummmm…… you wanna go to the movies tonight?" Bowser squeaked. He quickly cleared his throat, embarrassed at how chicken he was. "Wellll….I don't know." Peach twirled her hair in thought. She really wanted to go, but what would Father say? Why that little witch! Lena thought. Lena was about to present herself to Bowser, when she noticed he was talking to Peach. What could she do? Before she could make a decision, Peach waved and sauntered off, while Bowser pumped his fist in the air. Obviously, Peach had said yes to going out with him. But Lena couldn't back down now. She wouldn't let herself. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she started down the hall. "Hi, Bowser." Lena pushed her hair back out of her eyes, just like Peach had done and flashed him a beautiful, shy smile. "Remember me?" "Not really." Bowser said, but he looked mesmerized by Lena's beauty. Suddenly he caught something in Lena's eyes, something familiar. "It's me, Lena." "You're Lena?!?" Bowser was shocked. Bowser remembered Lena as a fat, annoying little girl who drooled over him. This girl was thin, acne-free, had red hair, and was gorgeous. Even her teeth and eyes were perfect. "So, Lena, where have you been lately?" Bowser slipped his arm around Lena and they started walking toward the cafeteria. "Well, to be honest, a health spa," Lena said with a little laugh. "Oh, really?" "Yes, really." Peach set down her tray and took a sip of milk. She had promised to save a seat for Bowser. She began scoping out the grounds, looking for Bowser. Suddenly she spotted him. She began to wave, but stopped halfway. It was Bowser, all right, but he had his arm around some strange, new girl. Why that two timing, double-crossing, jerk! Peach stood up fast, so fast she almost knocked over her chair. Then she ran after Bowser. Lena and Bowser spotted Peach at the same time. "Uh-oh," Bowser muttered. "Oh, great," Lena murmured. "Bowser, what is this all about?" Peach cried. "Well, you see, Peach-" Bowser started. "I don't wanna hear it! Father warned me about people from the Koopa Kingdom! I should have listened to him!" Peach looked at me. "And who might you be, huh?" "I'm Lena." Peach burst out laughing. "No you're not! Lena is fat with black hair." "Actually, I went to a health spa. I lost weight and let my natural hair color shine through." "Ahhh….I see. I guess that makes it okay for you steal my boyfriend!" "Peach, we hadn't even gone out before! Besides, I believe in open relationships," Bowser cut in. "You knew we were going out. Didn't you?" Peach asked Lena. "Sorta." "Fine. Just fine. The dates off Bowser!" Peach stormed off angrily. Bowser and Lena looked at each other, and, in unison, said, "Ooops." Seven years later "……and do you, Lena, take Bowser Koopa to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health , for as long as you both shall live?" the priest asked. Lena stared into Bowser eyes, then said, "I do." "You may now kiss the bride!" Bowser and Lena did so. Lena had turned to the dark side, and was now Bowser's wife, Queen Lena Koopa. Yep, it felt pretty good being a queen, a Koopa. But it felt even better to finally have Bowser as her husband. THE END
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