Tormented soul searches
Right from wrong.
History's influence
On present day life.
Choices made
Decisions in haste.
Life without focus
God what a waste.
Youth spent confused,
troubled and scared.
Taught the wrong things
Of no use to me now.
Clean your plate.
Be a good boy.
Speak when you're told.
But what do I do
Now that I'm old?
Do the right thing.
But what IS right?
Is it what I think it is?
Or what I'm told it is?
Love thy neighbor
As thyself they said.
But don't love thyself too much
Or you're bad.
Tortured and pulled
From this feeling to that.
Sacrifice what you believe
For others' peace.
Take from no one.
Give your all to all.
Sounds so good.
Hey, who built this wall?
Nothing comes in
Yet it all goes out.
Where is my comfort?
My peace? My life?
Run like the wind
When love comes in.
But give all I have
Time and again.
To know what I want
Yet shun it away.
Who taught me that?
What did I hear?
I don't remember it
Sinking into my soul.
But it is there so deep
I can't let it go.
Keep your promise
Be true to your word.
Good rules, good practice, good grief.
So I cleaned my plate
I was a good boy.
Now my promises are gone.
My word brings me no joy.
From here I move on.
I teach myself the lessons
I needed from youth.
Respect for myself.
Trust in my heart.
Forty years old
What a rotten time to start.
written by Jim 5-10-1999
Thank you Jim for letting me use your poem for my page.
As a little girl...
My dad taught me I was bad
All I remember is crying and wondering
Why daddy didn't love me
I wanted so badly for him to pick me up
Spin me around and call me
"daddy's little girl"
But it didn't happen
As a teenager...
My dad reminded me
I wasn't worth anything
All I remember is crying and wondering
Why daddy didn't love me
I ached to seek his approval
I longed to hear him tell me
That he didn't mean those things
But it didn't happen
As an adult...
My dad calls me
And wants me to visit him
He wants to think that I am
"daddy's little girl"
I have been able to forgive him
But I can't forgive myself
I want to look in the mirror
And be proud of who I am
But it doesn't happen
I pray it will...
One of These Days
written by ~Michele~ 5-17-1999
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One Of These Days
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