Brian boarded the plane wearily. Why was he even going? He asked himself irritably. He hated to be parted from Lil Tyke and all the comforts of home, and he would miss Leigh. He thought back to their goodbye.

"I'll think of you all the time," She told him, taking his hand. Brian smiled. Even if they hadn't been getting on as well recently, maybe this time apart would help them prioritise.

"I'm going to miss you," He told her truthfully. "I love you."

"Me too." Her eyes were shining with tears. She hated goodbyes. "I really feel funny about this trip Brian. It's not like you're going on tour…what if something happens to you?"

"I'll be fine," Brian answered, his voice full of more conviction then he felt. What if something does happen to me? He pushed the thought away and stared out the window, sighing. April. In April he'd be home again. Unaccustomed to travelling alone, he found it hard to sit still and had read his magazine before the plane had even taken off. 7 hours from Kentucky to Brazil was no short flight, but at least it was a night flight and he could sleep. Hopefully he wouldn't have any more of the weird dreams he'd been having recently, the blurry images that had his heart racing and bathed in cold sweat when he awoke. Always the same, of a faceless person in the middle of a burning village, all dissolving with him powerless to stop it, until he was left holding a single blonde hair. He had no idea what they meant, but they were always tinged with a feeling of deep sorrow. Brian sighed. He'd always wanted to do something like this, but now it was here he felt so apprehensive about going. He was worried that he'd do more harm then good out there…and though he wanted to use his fame for a good cause, he knew he had to be careful not to be patronising, or disrespectful of the Amazonian ways. It was odd, but in a way he knew he had accepted this trip in order to ease his heart.

As the plane revved up and taxied down the runway, Brian just hoped that this trip would cure the discontent that had been growing inside him. His band-mates were worried about him, he was uncharacteristically snappy and the things that used to make him so happy just didn't satisfy him anymore. He had felt so restless about his life recently, as if something was missing, there was something he needed to do…he knew that this trip was about discovering himself as much as anything. He had not been happy with his life, not…content, somehow. He had always wanted to get out and see something different, travel a bit. Of course the Backstreet Boys had done their fair share of travelling, but it was always the same…the most they got to see in some places was their hotel room, and then the venue. And even when they did get out into the open, it was so sheltered he wanted to scream sometimes. It was always the good side of town anyway. He wanted something different, something new. Something real. There was so much more he wanted to do then just give his voice. So when Brian had read about this Amazonian crisis, he had started putting money into it, just because he wanted to help. His press officer Susan had then told him, a few months later, that the Rainforest Organisation was looking for someone to go out there, a celebrity, to help the people building their villages and with their ways of life. What was it she had called it? The "human touch". Not just money, but real help. Brian decided to do it, and told her to put him down. And that was that. He was on the flight to Brazil, and one American Rainforest worker would be meeting him there, named Brad, who had already been out there a couple of months already. He was aided some Brazilian workers from the same organisation, but apart from them, they were only people from the "civilised" world. How he hated that term! It made the Amazonians sound like some sort of cave people. Though he was scared, he was excited as well. He just hoped he could help.

Soon Kentucky airport disappeared from view and as Brian looked forward he could see the clouds.

"See you in two months," He whispered to his home state. Who knew where he would go from here?

***

When he touched down in Brazil 7 hours later, the nerves inside him had grown hugely. Anxiety was gnawing at him - he'd never done anything like this, what if he was out of his league? Getting off the plane, he was at once accosted by the heat. Sure, he'd been to hot places before, but this was claustrophobic- humid, close, all encompassing. He could hardly breathe. Wiping a trickle of sweat from his brow, Brian dragged his tired body across to the entrance. As the doors opened, the chill of the air-conditioning beckoned him and he relaxed slightly. Airports, now this he could handle. This he was used to.

Slumping against the wall opposite the conveyer belt, he yawned. He hadn't been able to sleep at all on the plane, and it was now the morning in Brazil. Spotting his bag, he wearily leant across and grabbed it, thankful that no one had recognised him, and started towards the exit. He loved fans, of course, but in his present state he knew he wouldn't be able to muster up an ounce of friendliness.

A tall man with dark brown hair and eyes, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a polo shirt, holding a pair of keys and a sign saying "Brad" was waiting for him as he said he would be.

"You must be Brad," Brian greeted him, shifting his bag to the other hand because his arm was aching.

"Hi Brian," he greeted brightly, shaking his hand. "Good flight?"

"It was ok, I'm pretty beat though," Brian smiled tiredly, his stomach knotting tightly.

Brad chuckled. "Well I hope you're not too worse for wear, cos we've got a heck of a day ahead of us!"

"Great," Brian replied, whilst thinking, and not for the first time, why did I come here?

Brad nodded. "Well, we better be going. We gotta get this truck back to the village. Had to borrow it off a farmer there. You all set?"

"Yeah," said Brian, and followed him out of the airport into the stifling heat. This guy seemed to know what he was doing, he thought, but do I?

Once in the car, Brian asked "So where are we going, exactly?"

"We're going to a village named Fujiato, which is the nearest to our part of the Amazon. After we've dropped the car off, we'll hike to the forest."

"Hike?" Brian asked faintly.

Brad took his eyes off the road and smiled at him briefly. "Oh, don't worry. It's not too far, only five miles or so."

Brian swallowed. "Swell." He knew this was going to be hard work, he just hoped he hadn't tried to push himself too far. "Then what?"

"Well, I've got some pamphlets here for you. They’re in the glove compartment, and they tell you more about our work here. Basically today we'll introduce you to some of the people and show you how we're reconstructing the village." Brad explained, motioning for Brian to open the glove compartment.

Brian reached forward and took out a few, examining them carefully. The Organisation had helped rebuild villages of 14 tribes so far, and they were situated towards the north of the river now, working with the Conawetha people. This is where Brian would be.

They drove for about an hour, mostly in silence, with Brian occasionally asking questions as he read.

The freeway petered off to narrow roads surrounded by thick greenery. Brian had never seen scenery like this and started to look out of the window intently. It's like being in another world, he thought. Navigating the car down a twisting dirt track, they passed through a little village, the road a dust track surrounded by wooden houses with shuttered windows to keep the heat out and hand painted shop signs. Swinging a left, Brad pulled up outside a house set further back then the rest, overlooking a few fields with green shoots beginning to pop up from the cracked soil. "This is our stop," Brad commented, shutting off the ignition. "I'll be back in a minute, just gotta give these keys to the farmer. There's some water in the back, if you wanna get your bag out and have a drink."

Brad walked off around the side of the house and Brian was left. Getting out of the car, he scrunched up his eyes against the sun, and fumbled for his sunglasses. He looked around him. The sky was blue and the ground was a golden brown, patches of green grass here and there. In the distance a thick clump of never-ending green stretched out in front of him. Brian supposed that must be the forest. He wondered for a moment at the situation he was in. It was quite extraordinary, quite unlike anything he had ever done. It was scary, being on his own, but he would have to just go with it. And who knows, maybe he would find some new things out about himself on the way.

Broken out of his reverie by a gull soaring, screeching overhead, Brian went around to the back of the car and hoisted his bag out of the trunk, and with his free hand, grabbing the water. Setting the bag on the ground, and causing a cloud of dust to float up in the process, he opened the water and drank hungrily, relieved for the moisture on his parched throat.

"You think you're thirsty now, you wanna wait 'til later," A voice came behind him. Brian turned around to see Brad sauntering down the path. "The work really gets you over-heated."

Brian exhaled and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "I'll say, with this heat. And it's only what, 11 o'clock?"

Brad nodded. "Yep. It's pretty hot, but I guess I don't notice it as much anymore. You'll get used to it." Walking back to the car, he took a backpack out of the trunk and then shut it. "Ready to go?" He asked, not waiting to get a reply as he strode off into the blazing sun.

"Sure," Brian muttered, and followed him.

***

Two hours later, Brian was feeling extremely proud of himself, and he was also feeling hopeful. They were walking up the path to the forest and hadn't had a break since they started out. But he had made it. Okay, so he wasn't quite as fit as Brad, who was bounding up the path ahead of him, and was not even out of breath. Brian, on the other hand, was panting in the heat and the sun, beating down on his back, had caused his t-shirt to become drenched with sweat. His shoulders were also red raw and felt like they were on fire because of the weight of his pack. But he had made it. That was the important thing. And he didn't feel too bad, actually. In fact, he felt kind of good.

A fine mist rose up around the forest in condensation, and the cool of the greenery beckoned to him as he followed Brad inside. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as the breeze hit him. The heat had been sweltering, but in here it was dark and cool. Listening to the birds chirping and the slither of unknown creatures amongst the leaves, he felt curiously elated and excited.

He broke the silence. "How much further?" He called up to Brad.

"Not far," Brad answered over his shoulder.

And this time, Brad's idea of "not far" matched Brian's. Ten minutes of marvelling at the scenery and willing his feet to move later, the two men walked into a clearing.

Brian had learnt from the pamphlets that this was the base for the Conawetha people's new village.

All of this was happening because of the recent earthquake. By normal people's standards it really wasn't that big a deal. In South America they were used to things like this and all the buildings had been earthquake proofed. It was a minor occurrence. However, in the heart of the rainforest, the Amazonians had no such protection. The earthquake had devastated their village, toppling trees had killed all of their livestock and industry and injured many of the tribal people.

They had had to be relocated to this clearing, as the site of their old village was now uninhabitable. Brian stood at the opening, observing the open space. It was big, and compared to the relative peacefulness of the forest was alive with activity. There were hundreds of people moving to and fro, some hunched on the floor with mud, compacting mud together to dry for mud bricks, some lifting timber, some chopping timber, some constructing the huts…it made Brian dizzy to look at. Children were also involved, running about with handfuls of leaves, which were being taken from them and mashed into a paste by some of the adults. There were about 15 aid workers, Brian noted, each working on a different project. They were quite conspicuous in their white t-shirts and shorts. The native men were all stripped to the waist, their skin tanned a deep brown, wearing only brown loin cloths and bare feet. The women were dressed in similar cloths that doubled as dresses. He had heard some celebrities talking about aid work, and saying "The people were so primitive, and the things they wore…they were almost naked!" They sounded thoroughly repulsed at the idea. Brian thought it was amazing; so natural and unpretentious. He couldn't help himself from thinking: what a wonderful way to live…

"Quite something, isn't it?" Brad tossed his head proudly.

"It's amazing," Brian said quietly.

"Well, I'll take you to your tent and then you can get started." Still awe-struck, Brian followed him, eager to start, to become a part of it all.

***

The tents were to the right of the clearing, inside the forest. Brian had his own, quite a privilege, Brad had told him. He detected a snide note in Brad's tone when he had made that comment. I must be imagining it, Brian told himself. I'm just tired.

After unpacking and changing into fresh clothes, Brian went in search of Brad who would give him instructions. Once inside the clearing, he felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb; with his pale skin and blue shorts, green t-shirt and blue sneakers, he felt incredibly vulgar in the sea of natural brown.

He couldn't see Brad anywhere, so he stood there dumbly for a moment, not knowing what to do. A moment later, he felt a tug at his hand.

A little tribal child was staring up at him, a yellow speckled leaf in her outstretched, tiny hands, her brown eyes enormous and curious in her small face. "Do you like my leaf?" She asked him shyly.

Brian was taken aback that she spoke English and, not sure what to do, he bent down beside her. "It's beautiful," He told her. "Where did you get it?"

"In the forest by my classroom," She told him, giving the leaf for him to feel. "It comes from a banana tree. Do you like bananas?"

"Mmm," Brian rubbed his stomach. "I love bananas. They're yummy. What about you?"

"I like them." She nodded solemnly, then held out her little hand.

He took it, not sure what she was doing. Then she got up and led him back into the forest, this time along a little stone path to the left of the clearing. "Where are we going?" Brian asked her.

"To get some bananas," She answered confidently, and Brian saw a small, crudely made mud hut up ahead of them. All around the hut were tall thin trees, and when he looked closer, he saw some smaller trees nestled between them. As they drew nearer, she scampered off and indicated for him to follow. He hurried after her, wondering whether Brad was in the classroom as well. As he rounded the corner around the side of the classroom, the little girl was standing there, looking up at him with delight.

"Look," She whispered, motioning for him to crouch down. "But you have to be most quiet." She pointed amongst the trees, and he followed to where she was pointing. A baby chimpanzee was sitting in the middle, munching on a banana innocently.

Brian let out a gasp of excitement. "Wow!" He whispered back. "Do you see them often?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. There are lots. See more different animals."

Brian nodded, and turned to her, his mouth opening with another question, but she was gone. He stood up, puzzled. "Little girl?" He called quietly. A second later she scampered around the corner, her arms full of bananas.

"Here!" She said merrily, thrusting them into his arms. Brian laughed. "But wait," He said. "I haven't introduced myself." He held out his hand. "I'm Brian."

The girl took his hand seriously. "I am Elila." She smiled, and showed teeth with many gaps between. "Have you come to help us?" She asked him.

Brian nodded. "Yes. I'll be here for a few months."

"Months?" She echoed, not understanding. Before he could explain, she took his hand again and dragged him into the classroom. "Meet my friends."

***

Half an hour later, Brian had become the most popular male on the campsite. The tribal children absolutely adored him, begging him to sing to them and juggle bananas. He hadn't learnt all of their names yet, but he was getting there.

Looking round at the mud hut, he wondered what sort of things the children learnt in here. There were over turned boxes and crates that served as desks and the children knelt on the floor to write on them. Similar boxes held crayons, paper and books. The walls were covered with drawings of the jungle drawn by the children themselves, or so Brian was assuming.

"Brian!" a brown-eyed, coffee skinned minx of a boy with a mischievous smile called…Josef, (thought Brian with triumph) beckoned Brian over to the front of the classroom. Elila clapped as he passed. "Do your monkey, Brian!" Josef bellowed.

"Yes, do the monkey!" Elila chimed, jumping up and down.

"Well-" Brian hesitated, wondering when their classes would be starting, but all the kids were soon chanting "Do the monkey! Do the monkey!"

Smiling and shaking his head in bemusement, Brian stuck his lips out and pouted, flared his nostrils and widened his eyes, hunching over and touching his ankles as he swung his arms in an exaggerated, ridiculous parody of a monkey. He snorted and jumped around. All the children giggled and squealed, begging Brian not to stop.

Suddenly the children fell silent, and Brian heard a crisp voice with a hint of Spanish from behind him. It was flat, amused, and distinctly bitchy. "When you're quite finished, Mr Littrell," It was a female. "You are needed else where, and I need these children in order to teach, not impersonate jungle characters, or human primates."

Brian turned around, his face flushed, feeling ridiculous and out of place. What he saw took his breath away. Standing framed in the doorway, light surrounding her, was a tall, Amazonian goddess. She had very long legs and unlike the other women was dressed in a white shirt and a tribal skirt, a sort of mix between her heritage and her job. She had very long white blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the colour of the sky behind them. With the light framing her, she looked like an angel. The only thing marring the image of perfection was the expression of disdain on her face, and her lips were set in an icy line.

"I-" Brian moved to the door and started to speak, but she cut him off.

"Good day, Mr Littrell," She said impatiently, nodding jerkily, and waved in the direction of the door, striding past him and into the classroom. As the door slammed in his face, Brian wondered again just what he was doing here.