Both episodes of the Brak Show have premiered!!! (Cross your fingers that they'll make more soon!)The CD is also out right now, so below are some random skits and songs from the CD. For this occasion, I created a whole 'nother page here. I also have some screen grabs from this very neat new show:
For the new CD, here are the tracks:
REALLY COOL SONG
FRANZ SHOEBERT
Dentist
MAGIC TOENAIL
Babbling Brook
I'LL TELL ME MA With The Chieftains
ROCK CANDY
BIG FAT SQUID
I LIKE HUBCAPS
Cowboy Buddy
HIGHWAY 40 With Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Bananachek
SMELL YOU LATER
STORE
Brak CounterBrak
EVIL IS ONLY SKIN DEEP With Diamond Dallas Page
WE LIKE GIRLS
El Brakiachi
BEEFLOG
Another Cowboy Buddy
BARBEQUE
Count Brakula
I'M FORGETTABLE
News Bulletin
I'M A CUCUMBER
News Bulletin
Molly Cule
WE'RE BUDS
CHILI TODAY HOT TAMALE
OHIO
Super Special Bootleg Bonus Braktrax:
I'VE GOT YOU UNDER MY DRAWERS
YEAR OF THE MANTIS
SOUP ON A STICK
The tracks in caps are songs, while the others are skits. I haven't had time yet to get all the lyrics yet, but here is the Beef Log song:
Brak:
Beef log, beef log, what a treat!
A hefty hunk of processed meat!
Dipped in mustard, oh what joy!
I'm a jolly beef log boy!
Hot and spicy, mild or plain,
I even eat the cellophane.
I might share some with my dog,
'Cause we both love beef log.
OH BOY!
Zorak:
Brak, I beg to disagree,
cheese log is the log for me.
As a meal, or as a snack,
it's my favorite saturated fat.
Cheese log, cheese log,
cylindrical and yellow.
Cut a cheese log and I'm a happy fellow!
AT THE SAME TIME:
Brak: Beef log, beef log, what a treat! A hefty hunk of processed meat! Dipped in mustard, oh what joy! I'm a jolly beef log boy!
Zorak: Cheese log, cheese log, cylindrical and yellow. Cut a cheese log and I'm a happy fellow.
Brak: Beef log!
Zorak: Cheese log!
Here are some more sketches and songs from the album:
B: Brak, Z: Zorak, Bt: Brakettes, GA: Great Ape, DDP: Diamond Dallas Page, N: Newsman, P: Paper doll spokesman, C: Cookie people spokesman, M: Molly Cule (the xxxx means I don’t understand what they’re saying, and if a word has a (?) after it, that means that I think that’s what they’re saying, but I could be wrong!)
Z:No one is the boss of me,
Brak’s too ugly for t.v.
Have you met my girlfriend xxxx
Smell you later, get a job.
Bt:Smell you later, get a job,
Smell you later, get a job,
Smell you later, get a jooooob.
Z:I’m the king of outer space,
Do I have something on my face?
I just ate the Beastie Boys,
Come on Fuzzy, make some noise.
( Fuzzy scats for a while )
Z:I am Zorak, hear me roar!
Had enough? I’ll give you more.
Pull my finger, here’s a plan,
You be chico, I’m the man.
Bt:You be chico, he’s the man.
You be chico, he’s the man.
You be chico, he’s the maaaaaaaan.
Z:Let’s go down to Chinatown,
Dress a duck, kick a clown.
Play some botchy(?) with the mob,
Smell you later, get a job.
Bt:Smell you later, get a job.
Smell you later, get a job.
Smell you later, get a jooooob.
( Zorak scats while the Brakettes harmonize )
B:One day I went to the store,
I went to the store one day.
Mom said “Brak go to the store!”
And I was on my way.
Bt:On your way to the store,
What a good boy you are!
B:Now I’m walking down the street,
When a voice says in my head,
Hey Brak, don’t go to the store,
Go to the park instead.
Bt:To the park instead, that’s what it said,
The voice in his head, like drop dead Fred,
Said go to the park instead! Go to the park instead!
B:So I say to the voice inside my head,
What’s the deal with you?
Why do you want me to get in trouble,
and where’s my other shoe?
Where’s my other shoe?
Bt:Forget your other shoe!
You need to get to the store!
B:So off I go to the park,
where I’m chased by a gang of girls.
Just when I think I’m safe and sound,
I’m attacked by a pack of squirrels.
( The Brakettes scat while Brak says: Break it down! Help me up! Stupid squirrels! Get off me! Break it down! Help me up! What time is it? Where am I? )
B:Well I finally got to the store,
but of course the store was closed.
When I got home I got in trouble,
and that’s the way it goes.
Bt:That’s the way it goes,
When Brak goes to the store.
B:That’s it.
DDP:People are so quick to judge,
And shun my point of view.
Z:They figure all you got inside,
is quarts of gloppy goo.
DDP:If they got to know DDP,
they’d know, I have feelings too.
Z: (laughing) You’re kidding right?
DDP: No, it’s true.
Z: Oh?
DDP:Often times I’m quite confused,
and utterly distressed.
Z:Like when you pile drive some jerk,
and make his head a mess.
DDP:It make DDP sad to bang someone into next week!
Z:I guess evil is only skin deep.
DDP:Deep, deep, down in my guts. (Brakettes repeat some words from now on)
There must be a spark of goodness hiding?
Z:What, what, what are you nuts?
Who’d ever take, the time to find it?
DDP: Hey man, that hurt.
Z: You all right?
DDP: Yeah, I’m ok.
Z:Since people are so quick to judge,
Why, should you change?
DDP:I live my life the way I like,
Happily deranged.
Z:So what if maybe now and then
some havoc you reak?
DDP: But evil is only skin deep.
Z: Isn’t it?
DDP+Z: Evil is only skin deep.
B:I want a girl,
who thinks I’m smart,
about stars and cars and birds and worms and art.
I want a girl,
someone who won’t think I’m dumb...
cause I am. And that’s dumb.
Z: You can say that again.
B: And that’s dumb.
Z: Don’t say that again.
B: Whatever you say.
Z:Alright, I’m singing now.
I want a girl,
who thinks I’m cute.
Even when I wear my birthday suit.
Bt: NASTY!
Z:I want a girl,
ahh, someone who’ll like long walks in the rain. Yeah. (pause)
And burglary! And larceny! And bribery!
B: ZORAK!
Z: What?
B: Next verse!
B+Z:Oh, we don’t care,
about shape or size.
Z: True, we don’t.
B: About the number of heads or tails or horns or eyes.
B+Z: We like girls.
Z: Yes it’s true, we really do.
B+Z:We like girls!
We like girls!
We like girls!
We like girls!
NEW: Listen to the wav of this: here!
(Zorak is watching tv, which is oddly the Umpire Strikes Brak if you listen closely, when there is a flash of lightening and Brak appears dressed in a vampire outfit.)
B: Good eve-a-ning! I’m Count Brakula. I’ve come to suck your blood! (scary piano music)
Z: (pause) Go for it.
B: I’m just kiddin. I’ve come to deliver... your pizza! (more scary piano music)
Z: Did you remember the garlic crust?
B: No, no, no! How many times do we have to tell you? No garlic crust! (more scary piano music)
Z: I like the garlic crust.
B: We do the stuffed crust.
Z: Just put it on the table.
B: As you wish. (walks over) That’ll be fourteen dollars and seventy five cents. ( more scary piano music) With a coupon. (more scary piano music)
Z: Put it on my tab. (laughs)
B: What about my tip?
Z: Choke up on the bat.
B: What?
Z: Especially with two strikes. Choke up, hit the ball, run to first. That’s how the game’s played.
B: That’s a good tip. Hey, can you do this? (changes into a bat)
Z: Nothin to it. Watch. (also changes into a bat) Check this out!
B: Do you know how to undo this?
Z: Nah, not really, no.
B: Aw man. (pause) Wally!?
B: When you fall in love, it’s like falling in love, it’s like barbecue.
Z: Barbecue
B:I’ll bring the sauce,
And you bring the pork,
We’ll barbecue.
Z: Barbedy barbecue.
B:I thought that it would be dinner for one,
Now we’re basting out coblets(?) and toasting our buns!
Z: Toasting our bu-huh-huh-huh-nnnns. Man I’m good.
B:Let’s barbecue,
We’ll rondevue,
Where boy meets grill!
B: This song comes from the heart of my bottom. (laughs)
I’m forgettable, that’s what I am.
So forgettable, something... something... ham.
My mom forgot me in a shopping cart,
I was raised by stock boys, ham, and art.
Do you remember our last dance?
I never wanted to change hands with you.
But we did...
And now, you got my keys.
(jazzy music starts)
It’s regrettable, like water on the knee.
It’s inedible, like a bowl of peas.
B: Hey, you’re interrupting my song! Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt?
N: You’re absolutely right. I don’t know what came over me.
B: We’ll be done in a second! Keep your pants on!
N: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken off my pants.
B: That’s all right. Now where was I? Oh yeah!
I’m a cucumber! I’m a cucumber! I’m a cucumber! I’m a cucumber! I’m a cucumber! I’m a cucumber! Please don’t take me to the pickle farm. Yeah! Ok, I’m done. It’s all yours, do your little story.
N: (clears throat) Today, war broke out between the cut out cookie people and the paper doll people. A spokesman for the paper doll people issued this statement:
P: The cut out cookie people refuse to hold hands. They must be destroyed.
C: We don’t hold hands with no stinking paper dolls!
N: More on this shocking story later. And now, on with my pants.
(This didn't actually make it to the show. Let's hope it will be on a future episode!)
B: So how ya’ doin’ there molly?
M: Well Brak, right now I’m balanced because I have an equal number of protons and electrons zippen around my nucleus.
B: That’s gross, Molly.
M: (laughing hysterically) I love you Braky Waky. You’re the greatest!
Z: Hey, uh, why are ya’ talkin’ to your hand?
B: I’m not! I’m talking to my little friend Molly Cule. She thinks I’m the greatest, don’t you Molly?
M: Yeah Brak, cause you’re so handsome and smart. So much smarter than Zorak!
Z: Do you know how dumb you look?
B: No, do you know how dumb I look?
Z: Stop talking to your stupid hand!
M: You can’t talk to my Brakums like that! You wanna fight?
Z: Ahhh, don’t get your neutrons in a wad.
M: Come on, jerk! I’ll fight you with one atom tied behind my back!
B: Stop all this squabbling! I want you two to make up right now!
Z: Ughh, ok. Come on Molly, slap me five!
B: NNOOOO!! (explosion sound followed by a pause) Can we get a tiny ambulance in here?
Also, here's the CD cover:
And some other images from the CD:
You can also visit various other very cool sites! Brak's Scrapbook is a great site with lots of other Brak Show pictures and a complete transcript of the first Brak Show! Also, there is the official site, a great place for clips and the album information. Here are the direct links to the clips:
N: We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin. Today a swarm of giant biscuits attacked-
Molly Cule
