The Beer Garden!

Welcome to the Beer Garden!

Here you can find all those wonderful delights to pickle your brain,

dissolve your stomach, and make your liver as hard as a rock!

And, who knows, you may even become a lifelong alcoholic!

Enjoy!

While other beers talk about Less Taste or Great Filling (or however that goes), we here at Chainsaw Breweries - on the shore of Itcheemagaueegoogoogaagaa Lake (which is very bad Mock Indian for “The lake where the first explorers one took a leak - and the pH levels haven’t been the same since”) - know what you really want in a beer: a great buzz! And that’s what you get with new Chainsaw Beer! The heaviest buzz on the market - possibly the closest thing to the Holy Grail of Beer Drinkers - the Eternal Buzz!

What do you get when the brewery burns down? That’s right: Sludge!: the world’s thickest beer! You don’t drink this beer, you eat it with a fork and knife (preferably a pitchfork and chainsaw)! Can also be used as a driveway sealer or to fix that leaky roof! Sludge! is available by the can, 6-pack, 12-pack, keg or supertanker (for those really big parties!)! Remember: “When you’re desperate enough, there’s always Sludge!” (And we’re not kidding when we say always!)

Ah, there’s nothing quite like a good Manly belch to clear a room! And that’s exactly the one-of-a-kind belch you get from Manly Beer - the Powerhouse of Beers! Made from the finest grains, hops, barley, chicory, crabgrass and ragweed! Oh, sure, some people might throw these plants out as weeds, but here at Manly Breweries, we throw ’em all in for that great Manly taste! I feel so Manly now, I think I’ll pass wind and scratch my privates!

Also try new Manly Milkweed Beer! After all, “If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you more Manly!”

Why settle for ordinary beers that taste like horse manure when you can have the real thing? Introducing new Lippanzer Beer - imported from some of the finest stables in Europe! This beer will definitely make you sit up and take notice! So, quit horsin’ around - belly up to the bar and demand a Lippanzer! You might get some funny looks, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re drinking the best!

What do the police drink? You guessed it: New Handcuffs Beer - the world's first donut-flavored beer! After a long, hard day of (completely unintentionally, we assure you!) destroying private property, there's nothing like a good shot of Handcuffs to drown that embarrassment! Try some yourself! The next time you get pulled over, he just might ask to join you!


	Welcome to the Beer Garden! Here you can find all those wonderful delights to pickle your brain, dissolve your stomach, and make your liver as hard as a rock! And, who knows, you may even become a lifelong alcoholic! Enjoy! While other beers talk about Less Taste or Great Filling (or however that goes), we here at Chainsaw Breweries - on the shore of Itcheemagaueegoogoogaagaa Lake (which is very bad Mock Indian for “The lake where the first explorers one took a leak - and the pH levels haven’t been the same since”) - know what you really want in a beer: a great buzz! And that’s what you get with new Chainsaw Beer! The heaviest buzz on the market - possibly the closest thing to the Holy Grail of Beer Drinkers - the Eternal Buzz! What do you get when the brewery burns down? That’s right: Sludge!: the world’s thickest beer! You don’t drink this beer, you eat it with a fork and knife (preferably a pitchfork and chainsaw)! Can also be used as a driveway sealer or to fix that leaky roof! Sludge! is available by the can, 6-pack, 12-pack, keg or supertanker (for those really big parties!)! Remember: “When you’re desperate enough, there’s always Sludge!” (And we’re not kidding when we say always!) Ah, there’s nothing quite like a good Manly belch to clear a room! And that’s exactly the one-of-a-kind belch you get from Manly Beer - the Powerhouse of Beers! Made from the finest grains, hops, barley, chicory, crabgrass and ragweed! Oh, sure, some people might throw these plants out as weeds, but here at Manly Breweries, we throw ’em all in for that great Manly taste! I feel so Manly now, I think I’ll pass wind and scratch my privates! Also try new Manly Milkweed Beer! After all, “If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you more Manly!” Why settle for ordinary beers that taste like horse manure when you can have the real thing? Introducing new Lippanzer Beer - imported from some of the finest stables in Europe! This beer will definitely make you sit up and take notice! So, quit horsin’ around - belly up to the bar and demand a Lippanzer! You might get some funny looks, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re drinking the best! What do the police drink? You guessed it: New Handcuffs Beer - the world's first donut-flavored beer! After a long, hard day of (completely unintentionally, we assure you!) destroying private property, there's nothing like a good shot of Handcuffs to drown that embarrassment! Try some yourself! The next time you get pulled over, he just might ask to join you!