Chapter Thirty-Two
Patricia held my hand tightly as we walked into the court room. 11 days later, I had finally
gotten my wish: (to be taken to) court.
"If you find that you can't testify, remember you don't have too." she
whispered in my ear. 4 days ago, Duncan raped me. I was laying on my bed, writing in my
diary:- minding my own business, and Patricia was out buying food. She came back last
Thursday night, and today was Thursday, May 13th. I was writing in my diary about how
everyday Taylor has been coming over and how each time we've come so close but stopped,
and everytime right after Taylor left, Duncan would come up to me, force me to kiss him
and then ask me once again to have sex with him. One night, the physical abuse got so bad
I had to stay at Rose's house. I didn't want to let Taylor to get worried about me, so I
lied and said I got a bruise on my neck because Rose's dog bit me, but it was Duncan who
bit me
"I can do this, I know I can. I just have too!" I whispered in reply. My
hands were shaking and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Patricia held me last
night, and promised she wasn't going to disown me in anyway, especially since it was
Duncan's fault and not mine.
Slowly, I sat down in the seat I was suppose too, and I turned around. I saw Taylor
clutching to his mother's hand. I didn't even have to beg for him to come, because he told
me he'd been here for me. Mrs. Hanson made sure none of the other Hanson kids came,
because she thought Taylor should be the only one to hold me. I could only handle so much
tears you know. After a few minutes, Duncan was brought into the room. Mom gasped, and
I reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight. Following Duncan was the judge.
Judge Elway was his name. I requested a male judge, so no one would think the female
judge would take sides. I knew who this game worked. After about 5-10 minutes of rules, I
was called to the stand.
"Explain to us that night." Duncan's female lawyer asked. I gave her an
extremely weak smile, and my stomach dropped.
"It was about 8:30, maybe 9:00, Duncan and myself were home alone, and I
was up in my room, writing in my diary."
"You diary I believe is a piece of evidence..is that right?" the lawyer asked.
I nodded. "Please go on." she said. I nodded again. Taking a large gulp, I continued.
"I was about to end my entree in my diary when Duncan knocked on my
door. I said he could come in, assuming Patricia was home and he was calling me to come
help carry in the groceries...I was wrong...-" I trailed off, my eyes connecting with
Taylor's. He gave me a nod, and I continued. My throat went dry and I felt sufficated. "He
came in, locked the door, and...and he raped me."
"I see.." Ms. Freeson, the lawyer mused. "Have you had any experience with
rape before?" she asked. I gulped again.
"Yes. My best friend was raped back late February." I paused, breathing in
deep, "She was drugged, she bearly felt anything!" I said ruthfully. I send a sharp gaze at
Duncan. He shook his head and looked down.
"Alright,..Amanda can you tell us who else knew about this before you
notified the cops?" Ms. Freeson asked. My head shot toward Patricia, then my eyes fell
onto Taylor.
"After Duncan did that, I..I went to Taylor's house., and then we all went
to Patricia." I admitted. That night, alittle while after Duncan raped me, I climbed out my
window and cried my way to Taylor. I never saw the signs that Duncan would do this, I
never thought he'd have the guts like Loreen did. I mean, I knew Kristi was going to be
raped, because of the way she acted and the way Loreen looked at me. But Duncan, the one
family member I trusted the most? How could he.
"Really? Taylor who? And what do you mean by 'we'?" Ms. Freeson asked
bitterly. I cringed at the angriness in her voice.
"Taylor Hanson. And when I said 'we' I meant Taylor Hanson, his father
Walker Hanson, and I went to my mother." I said. My heart pounded heart in my chest and
I suddenly felt short of breath.
"That's all, thank you Amanda." Ms. Freeson mused. "Now, I'd like to call a
surprise witness..will Taylor Hanson please step up to the stand!" I stopped in mid-motion.
My eyes instantly connected with Tay's.
"You can't try him..-" I began, but Taylor walked up and stopped me.
"It's alright. I'll go." he said. I sighed and joined my lawyer Mr. Braxton,
and my mom. Ms. Freeson rubbed her hands together and began her tesificantion on
Taylor.
Alyson rolled her eyes. "Dad, do we have to?" she asked. Greg smiled.
"Honey, if your going to live with me for a few weeks, you'll need a new
wardrobe." he said. Alyson gave a weak smile. Two hours ago, Alyson and her father won
against Alyson's mother. It seems all of Alyson's friends seemed to be going to court.
Well, one of her friends anyways.
"I don't feel like going shopping. I'm tired..can we please go home?" Aly
asked, heaving a heavy sigh. She forced herself to yawn. "Come on dad. I can bring some of
my old clothes up to your house." she added. Greg gave her a weak smile, and turned off
the car that sat quickly purring in the JcPenny parking lot.
"If that's what you want-" Alyson cut in.
"It's what I want." she said quickly. Greg sighed.
"Alright. Holiday Inn, here we come!" he laughed. He pointed ahead of him
like a pirate pointing it land. Alyson snickered.
"I want to go home." she whispered. All this fighting between her parents
was leaving her feeling controlled. How could she tell her mother she might want to live
with her father..how could she tell her father she might want to live with her mother..and
how could she tell Zac she might live in California, permanently, without hurting any of
them. Greg looked at her.
"We are going home honey."
"No. I want to go to my house. My house on West 75th street., the one with
my phone, my clothes, my mother, my friends...-" she trailed off. "Dad I want to go home."
"Alyson I don't get you. One second your all gunghoe for going to Cali, and
the next you can't stand the thought of leaving Tulsa. What's wrong with you?" His voice
rose. Aly left her temper rage.
"Dad. Don't you get it? I've lived with mom all my life, I can't just leave
her here all by herself..and I sure as hell am not leaving Zac!" she shrieked. "I finally got
his attention dad. I think I deserve some credit!" she added. Alyson thought for sure she
could have broken the glass windows in the car, if it wasn't a convertible. Greg turned in
his seat, facing her head on.
"What about me Aly? I love you...I want you to be with me!" he said.
"Ha!" Alyson laughed. "If you wanted to be with me, why did you pack up
and fly to Cali without even telling me? Without even saying good-bye!" she choked. "Can't
you understand this is my life? I'm turning 15 soon and not once in my entire life has my
opinions mattered!" Greg's face fell.
"I'm sorry baby, I just want you to be with me." he said, forcing his eyes to
water. Alyson unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door.
"And I wanted to be with you..but you just want to get back at mom for
telling you she wasn't in love you!" she shrieked, stepping out of the car.
"Where are you going?" Greg asked. Alyson slammed the door.
"HOME!" As yelled, as she ran away from her father. Greg sat, emotionless,
in the driver seat.
"ANDREA!" he yelled out. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY DAUGHTER!"
Duncan glanced my way when the judge came back into the court room. "I'm sorry."
he mouthed. I gave a weak smile, then pushed it away.
"How could you?" I mouthed back. I wasn't about to give him any
forgiveness, he took my virginity for god sakes. Am I suppose to be happy about that? I
think not.
"The judge has reached a verdict." the officer said. "Will the defendant
please rise?" Duncan stood up, his lawyer at his side.
"After reviewing recorded phone conversation, diary entrees, and secret
eye witnessed,:" the judge paused. Please, please, please! I begged. "We find the
defendant quilty." Yes! I thought to myself. "We give you, Duncan Cassandra, 2 years
without parole, and when you are released you will have 3 years of community service."
"We won!" Patricia hugged me, tears in her eyes.
"Say good-bye mom, I know you want too." I said to her. I leaned close to
my lawyer. "Ask if mom can say good-bye to him." I demanded. He nodded.
"My client requests a few words with the defendant."
"Alright." The judge said. I touched my mother's back, and pushed her
toward Duncan. She pulled him into a tight embrace.
"Duncan. I love you Duncan..I do!" she whispered.
"I love you mom." Duncan whispered in reply. "I'll see you when I get out. I
promise." he told her, his eyes directly on mine. I turned away and looked toward Taylor.
"Court dismissed." the judge announced. I quickly thanked our lawyer, and I
dashed toward Taylor. Without any words, we stood in front of each other.
"You won." Mrs. Hanson said, tears in her eyes. Tay said no words, and I was
too afraid to talk. What was he trying to tell me? I asked myself as I gazed into his eyes.
They seemed distant and dark. A new emotion I've never seen in him before. What is it? My
eyes screamed. "Aren't you glad?" she asked Taylor, touching his back. Still, he said
nothing.
"I could really go for a nice long nap." Patricia groaned, as she wrapped her
arm around my waist. My eyes never left Taylor's.
"Why don't you kids go out," Mrs. Hanson suggested. "And Patricia, would
you like to join me for coffee?" Mom smiled.
"I think that would be nice." she leaned down and kissed the top of my
head. "Be home by 11:30 okay?" she said. I smiled.
"Mmm." I replied. My throat lost all moisture, and my tongue fell to the
back of my throat. Mrs. Hanson slipped a $20 bill into Tay's back pocket, and she and
Patty left us. I shoved my hands into my front pockets and slumped. Forcefully, and finally
I managed to speak. "Want to go home?" I asked. That was all I could think of. Tay broke
our intense gaze.
"I guess so." he whispered. How could Duncan do this to her? Why didn't she
tell me it had gotten this bad? Amanda, I could have stopped him from hurting you! he thought
to himself. Even though his eyes weren't on mine, mines were on his.
"You couldn't have." I whispered as we left the church and walked down
the street.
"Yes I could. Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. I shrugged.
"What was I suppose to say: 'Ah Tay, Duncan's planning on raping me- go
beat the crap out of him!' Honestly, there was nothing we could have done." I sighed. A
few moments of silence filled the air, but Tay finally broke it when we stepped onto my
front porch.
"Did it hurt?" he questioned softly under his breath. He didn't want me to
hear his question, but he had an interest.
"Yea, actually Tay, it hurt alot." I paused, and moved my face into his view.
"Look at me Taylor." I demanded softly. Carefully, he forced himself to look me in the eye.
"It wouldn't have hurt as much if I wanted to do it with him." I paused. "It wasn't very
romantic either!" I added as a joke.
"Screw romantic," Tay said "he hurt you." I cut him off before he could say
anything else.
"It would have hurt equally if I did it with you Taylor, there wouldn't have
been a difference." I stated. He locked his eyes in an intense stare with my eyes.
"But..he took you of probably your biggest freedom., and pride." he said, his
voice cracking. I tensed up when I heard him crack.
"Virginity wasn't my pride Taylor. Even though," I paused, taking a deep
breath "I would have liked to have lost it to you..I'm not and was never proud of my
virginity." I stopped and related to the shock in Tay's eyes. "I'm proud of us, you, me, my
writing, your singing, everything. I'm proud of nature, the beauty of the world!" I turned
around and pointed to my neighbor, "I'm proud of Ms. Hemmingway for finally putting a
cute color on her house," I moved my finger toward another neighbor "And I'm extremely
proud that Mr. Andrade finally taught Melanie to drive without killing all the mailbox's on
the block!" I heard Tay laughed. "Don't you see Tay?" I turned toward him, and he nodded.
"I'm sorry," he said "I just always thought, well, I thought I would be the
one you'd give your..unprideful virginity too." he whispered. I almost died.
"I know," I opened the door and we stepped inside. "it would have been cool.
But now, when your ready I'm still here. I'd be extremely gratefully to get emotionally
attached with you!" we laughed. Emotionally attached was one of Mr. and Mrs. Hanson's
favorite form of saying 'having sex'. It had become a family joke now.
Alyson knocked on Zac's bedroom door. "Ike, it is your bedroom too ya know. You
don't have to knock!" Zac laughed. Alyson couldn't help but smile as she stepped into the
room. "Oh, my-..uh..Alyson." Zac babbled.
"We have to talk." she said, sitting down on Tay's bed.
"Good or bad?" Zac asked. "If it's bad, leave now coz I'm in too much of a
good mood today to receive bad news." Alyson laughed. Zac nodded. "I'm serious, I'm in
too good of a mood to be brought down!" he stated.
"Um, sorry but,..this kinda qualifies in both areas." she stopped and looked
Zac in the eye. "My dad came back."
"Yea? Wow Al, that's great!" Zac laughed. "Thats grea-"
"I might have to move to Cali with him!" Alyson burst out, tears forming in
her eyes.
"What? Why? I thought you only spent Christmas up there?" Zac asked,
clearly confused.
"They went to court again. Dad won..so now he thinks I'm leaving everything
behind to go live with him and his girlfriend in California," she paused. "I can't leave. Zac,
I'm too happy to leave."
"See what happy gets you? Nada. I was happy, then BOOM, you hit me with
this!" Zac muttered with sarcasm.
"Zac c'mon its not funny!" Alyson scold.
"I wasn't laughing." he said. Aly shrugged and touched his arm.
"Can you please just do me a favor?" she asked. Zac nodded in silence. "Be
here. Back me up on my decision..please? Just do me that, its all I ask." Zac gave her a
weak smile.
"Alright." he said. "I'll do it. I'm here!" Zac said heavily, while sucking up
air, sticking out his chest and bring a clenched hand over his heart. Alyson smiled.
"I have to go. I'll call you." she said, leaning over and touching Zac's lips
with hers. After a moment of silent enjoyment, she pulled away. Before Zac could
comment, Alyson was gone.
"Right. You have to go." he muttered and threw himself down on the floor.
"JUST GREAT!" he commented loudly.
<----back
Ever Lonely
Email: thelittleone214@aol.com
