To... and For... You-Know-Who...

hmmm... i can't really call this a poem, as it isn't, but it's a mere bit of thought from me, regarding someone who is most important to me, and always has been...
of course, i won't tell if i've ever met him, or spoken to him, or even caught a glimpse of him in a dream...
all i WILL say is that i've known him forever... or, at least, our... friendship... is held together by a depth borne of ages together, if not in body, then in mind... in soul...
our relationship transcends love and hate... time and space... life and death...
i suppose that i don't yet know who this is about... mayhap, when he reads this, he'll know... i already do...


he makes me wish to be the clothes he wears...
he is all clean lines and smooth, hard flesh... and he's dextrous in the most virile way... in his hands is a not-so-repressed sensuality, one which makes him all things masculine, and the essence of man...
and i'll love him forever...
he has a way with women, a swaying, swaggering way about them that does strange things to the backs of their knees... and the way he gazes at them makes them each decide that he has a mad thing for them, that he follows them home, and that he watches at their window...
and, from him, they don't mind a bit...
his eyes have brought those who know him, and those who wish to have known him, to the heights of ecstacy, to the depths of despair...
he has a voice which awakens the nerve endings everywhere, which makes his sisters wish that they were not related...
he is the reason i've wanted to die all my life, and the reason that i've not (yet) taken my life...
but what kind of life is it?
because he is everything that i am, and everything that i am not... and without him, i'm incomplete... nothing...
and yet, i care nothing about him... how can i? because i'm intrinsically against any type of human emotion... which is why i know that we're meant for one another... because he loves me... at least, that's what he said last night as he drove that dagger into my heart...


mayhap i should clarify... this is about a guy that i love tremendously... sort of... who mayn't know just what he means to me. and yes, it IS the guy that sort of, well, made me goth. not htat he is... well, overtly...