Don't point your mouse here or here or here.
Doctor's recommendation:Everyone with the "William Obsession" syndrome should
contact their closes health department as soon as possible.
This is a page dedicated for the "William Obsession" sydnrome. This syndrome is
highly leathal to health. You may ask, "How would I know if I have it or not?".
Well you have the question, WE have DA answer. All host with the syndrome goes
through 4 stages. THINKING, DREAMING, TALKING, and BUYING.
STAGE #1 THINKING- The host will day dream about William all day long which
results in serious mental dissorder, and leads to step 2.
STAGE #2 DREAMING- The host will not only day dream about William but also
really dream about him at night. Which results in TOO happy of a dream and would
create an illusion of happyness. Which would result in oversleeping. Then leads
to step 3.
STAGE #3 TALKING- The host will have both previous stages and results in
urges to call William up when ever they don't see him around. This results in
HIGH phone bills, dehydration (from talking too much), and to step 4.
STAGE #4 BUYING- The host will have all previous stages ALSO have urges to
buy William something every few minutes. Which results in bankrupting yourself(or your parents),
William have to buy a new house 'cause there is no more room for all the new guifts, and seriously
creating a monopoly for the GIFTS industry.
ALL four stages are extremely lethal and doctors should proceed curing with
extreme caution. The "William Obsession" syndrome has not yet been effectively treated
yet. All patients with the syndrome should be quarintined immediately. The
patient would not like being closed up so would have aggressive behaviores toward
people trying to stop them from TALKING, BUYING, or even THINKING of William. If
patient gets too violent, all medical personals should allow patients some space
and let them freely think about William(after all, it IS a free country). To
calm the patient. One really effective way is to get a life size dummy and stick a
picture of William on it. At the sight of this, the patient will be decieved for a short
time because they won't only focus on the picture alone. It's only the matter of time
would the patient relize how retarded he/she is and starts being aggressive and violent again.
Thats when any medical personales may use legal drugs... BUT THEM TO SLEEP BABY! WHOOO!
5ml of any nice working drugs may work... but WHAT THE HECK!!! PUT THE WHOLE BOTTLE IN! You
wouldn't want them to wake up when you're talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend on the phone, which
forces you to hang them up and strap the patient down on the bed and inject another 5ml of drugs eh?
So "I" personally fully support the "PUT THEM DOWN" theory... put them down and MAKE them stay
down (for atleast 10 hours hehehe). Then the patient would go through a depression
period as if William was dead. They would mourn loudly and try to run their head through a
window as if testing the durability of the glass(or is it their head?). This is absolutely unallowed
so, any medical personales are allowed to use any method to calm the patients down. Here are a list of
some useful ways:
Slapping-A nice SMACK across the face usually makes the patient more clear minded(atleast it works for me hehehe).
Whips-A nice whipping would do... thats why Egyptians usually whip their slaves 'cause the "William Obsession"
syndrome was flowing through all those slaves during those days. So actually the Egyptians don't whip people
for no reason. But is for helping the patients get through the terrible syndrome. Poor Egyptians they were being missunderstood.
Bucket-of-ice-water-That works pretty nice, ever got a sudden chill and your eyes miraculously pry's itself apart? Well
the same theory works with the BUCKET OF ICE WATER.
Play 3rd eye blind music-It's been scientificly proven that over 90% of the patients after listening to "3rd eye blind" music(which is William's favorite band)
were significantly calm and clear minded. They would relax themselves and would sit for hours listening to the songs over and over again.
The diets that the patients should have should include:
Jell-O-EVERYBODY likes JELL-O's ! Yummy~ All the neutrients give to you by it
is probably equal to zero. But, who cares!!! Satisfy your tummy first hehehe.
Chips Ahoy-William likes chips ahoy(especially little munch size ones). Which would
influense the dietary of the patients too. Don't you think those bits of chocolate chips
are tastey? Hmmmm...chips ahoy *drools*.
Chicken Strips-Yummy Chicken strips dipped in Ranch dressing. It gives you part of the
four major food groups... isn't that nice?
Pepsi-I personally pity pepsi 'cause Coke is stealing their business! Also I don't see
whats the difference between them. Just that Coke is more expensive! So Pepsi is the optimal
drink for the patient! The caffeine inside could increase the adrenaline pumping which stimulizes
the brain and creates soothing feeling for them(does it? I'm not sure...).
Click this mailbox to give me your comments: 
You are Patient #
