Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on any of their clothes--neither their habits nor their underclothes.
After conferring about this for awhile, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their clothes, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there is a knock at the door. Pious Parrots
A lady approached her priest and told him, "Father, I have a problem. I recently bought two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding miniature rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady put her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
A Habitual Problem
"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"
