Cristina didn't need to work and her husband wouldn't have allowed her even if she had wanted to. The husband of one of her neighbors had left her two years before with four young children to feed and hadn't been heard of since except that it had been reported that he had taken up with another woman in Sanderson, another small Texas town not far away. The woman worked as a maid to support her family but found it hard to get anyone to take care of her children. Cristina gladly offered to take care of all the children in her own home and refused to accept any payment because she knew the woman was barely making enough for her other expenses. Jesus didn't mind her taking care of the children and actually enjoyed playing with them when he had the chance.
Both Jesus and Cristina looked forward to the day they would have children of their own, but tragically, it was never to come to pass. Before they had been married one year, Jesus was electrocuted on a utility pole. The wires had been improperly connected from before, but he was not aware of it. The accident happened close to their home, and someone came very soon after it happened to tell Cristina. It would have been better if they hadn't told her that soon. She ran immediately to the scene of the tragedy but they had still not had the chance to bring him down. He was draped against the pole with both his arms stretched out fully along the cross board at the top. His hands were clutching the large bolts that nailed down the outside wires to the cross board so tightly that it looked like the bolts were attached to his hands.
Cristina fainted and was in shock for several days. She recovered very slowly, and it was many months before she was able to function. She and Jesus had been very much in love, and she couldn't believe he would no longer be with her. She went into a deep depression. Luckily they had saved a little money for the birth of their first child, and she was able to fall back on that and on the help of neighbors.
She considered returning to her family in Mexico but they were barely making a living themselves. Jesus had been sending money to help them. She decided to try to find work herself and if possible continue to send them some money. The neighbor whose children she took care of eventually found a job for her as a maid in the home of a wealthy man who lived completely alone. He had a large, old two-story house that stood alone on the side of a hill and was always dark. At night he mostly used a candle or a small kerosene lamp and, during the day, would allow only a few of the window shutters and curtains to be opened. He was concerned about anyone snooping around, but no one in the town wanted to go near the house.
Cristina still thought of Jesus almost constantly and would often feel blue moods, but it helped her mind that she worked all day, six days a week. The man didn't talk to her much. That made her fear him to a certain extent, but she was also glad that he wasn't very demanding in the cleaning of the house. He didn't tell her much about himself except that his name was Bernard Bubb. He was tall and skinny with completely white hair and a twisted, wrinkled face. He always wore gray suits that looked expensive but old and crumpled. He always sat down fully dressed to have all his evening meals by candlelight. He liked spicy hot food, which was one reason for having Cristina work for him. She could cook good Mexican food, and he always encouraged her to put in plenty of hot chile.
The people of the town didn't know much about Bubb except that he had lived in the house for almost as long as anyone could remember. Some stories had it that he had always lived alone, but others said that he had been married twice and that both wives had disappeared in a shroud of mystery. Others said that they really hadn't been wives but only maids.
That didn't worry Cristina. At first he did not seem threatening in any way. She tried not to think very much about his eccentricities and the strange surroundings. Jobs weren't easy to find for someone who only knew a few words of English.
Almost a year went by without any problems and then the man started being more friendly toward her. Some evenings after she had washed the dinner dishes, he would have her sit down and would talk to her instead of letting her go home. It was winter and this meant that she had to walk down the cold, dark hill. She didn't understand anything he said, but she sat patiently and tried to show attentiveness. It didn't seem to matter very much to him whether she understood or not. He went on with long monologues and only occasionally did he try to see if she was tuned in.
One night he walked up to her as she was washing the dishes and put his arm around her waist as he said something. She moved to the right a little and tried not to express any strong reaction. He took his arm away before long. She didn't worry too much about the incident, assuming it was merely friendly affection. After all, she didn't think he could think of her romantically since he was old enough to be not just her father but her grandfather. A few days later he touched her again and she started to wonder about his feelings. Then one night he made the point of trying to communicate with her very clearly as she was getting ready to go out the door.
She couldn't understand why he kept pointing at the floor and making motions toward the walls of the room. Finally after many motions and incomprehensible words, she realized that he wanted her to stay. She further realized that he wanted her to move in permanently. She was amazed when she finally understood him and in a panic ran into the next room. She then quickly did the few chores she had to finish and left.
She later thought that she had overreacted. She should have been more calm about it. After all the poor man was lonely. The next morning she hoped he would not be angry at her and had by now accepted her refusal.
She was right. He acted as if nothing had happened, and all was normal for several days. The following week, however, he brought up the subject again. This time she knew right away what he was talking about, but he was calm about it as he went through all his motions once again. He even acted playful about it, and she went along with the levity putting on a coy smile and yet shaking her head in refusal the whole time. Over the next two weeks, the same scene took place several times with her same refusals. He seemed to accept her decision and nothing came of it.
Then one evening he shocked her when he took her very tightly in his arms and said something very emphatically that she didn't understand. As he spoke, he stared intensely into her eyes. She looked back at him not knowing what to do. He continued to hold her tightly for several minutes as he talked to her. She squirmed, trying to relieve the hard pressure of his hands. He let her go and continued talking and making his usual motions to show she should stay. He seemed very serious this time. She didn't do anything but stand still and stare at the floor. He finally stopped talking. She looked up and saw that he was looking straight at her. It was clear he wanted her answer. She shook her head gently and looked back down at the floor. He walked away. It was clear he was now angry and very serious about insisting that she live there. Nothing more was said as she served him his dinner and did her nighttime chores.
She returned to work the next day worried and confused. As for being a live-in maid, she had no objections in general. She liked the idea of not having to pay rent, but she was afraid that Mr. Bubb was interested in something more. He was gone when she got there. He had given her a key to the house to use when he wasn't there. She had no idea what he did either during the day or at night.
When he got home that night, he didn't say very much but her suspicions about his intentions were clearly confirmed when, before very long, he took her in his arms. He held her tight and started caressing her hair while looking at her with very admiring eyes. He then drew her near and tried to kiss her. She tried to back away and turned her face to the right but he held tight. He missed her lips and kissed her cheek and then kept on kissing her on different parts of the face. She struggled harder pushing him away as hard as she could. He finally let her go and got angry and yelled at her. He then walked out of the room.
Cristina served him dinner and then cleaned up as fast possible. Not another word was said. She didn't return the next day. He still owed her money for several days of work, but she didn't care. She didn't know how she was going to find a job but she was sure she was not going back to work for him. It nevertheless made her very depressed to not be sure what she was going to do next. She didn't go out of her apartment for two days. She thought of Jesus again as she had often since his death. She still had not accepted his death and felt a deep love for him. He had always been very kind to her, and she missed his comfort and support very much. He had been caring not only toward her but toward everyone else with whom he came in contact. That was why he was so well-liked by everyone. She wondered how she would be able to live the rest of her life without him. She would have given anything to have him back alive.
She was lucky to soon find work helping care for an invalid woman even though she didn't get paid very well. She was also lucky that the job kept her away from her house much of the time because Bubb had started trying to find her there. He would leave notes mostly written in English but with some attempted Spanish words. Cristina had a friend tell her what the notes said. He persisted in his quest to have her come live with him, telling her that he would meet her at her house at a certain day and time. She would purposely stay away from the house to avoid him, but he would return to leave still another note.
Bubb proposed marriage and tried to convince her of how advantageous it would be for her to let him take care of her. She would never have to worry about where her money would come from. She was foolish, he said, not to take up such a good offer, and he cared for her very much. He confessed he had fallen in love with her.
There were many notes left and many meetings avoided by Cristina. The notes became increasingly demanding and angry. One came that was unusually hostile. It seemed he was recognizing that he would not have her.
It read, "You have been especially discourteous in not answering my letters. You could have at least talked to me. I want you very much for my wife. You can't imagine how. I never thought I could become so enthralled by you. I don't know how I can manage without you the rest of my life. I have been lamenting it and trying to accept.
"Then the thought came to me that you would eventually find someone else and marry. I simply cannot accept you ever belonging to another man. For that reason, I hope you will understand that I must kill you.
"Regretfully,
B.L.Z. Bubb"
Cristina was horrified. She didn't go back to her apartment. The family of the woman she worked for let her stay with the woman and took precautions to make things as secure as possible. The note was shown to the police, but they said they could do nothing until at least an attempt on her life had been made. After all it could be an idle threat. Several months went by without any incident. Cristina was starting to relax a little more as everyone started to believe that perhaps it had been an empty threat after all.
Four months later, Bubb wrote another note to Cristina saying that he might change his mind about killing her, but that even if he did, he had people who would help him make her life more miserable than if she were dead.
One evening an older woman went to see Cristina at the house where she had by now moved in permanently. This woman had lived in the town for many years but kept to herself and was not very well known. She and Cristina had exchanged greetings on the street but otherwise did not know each other. The woman acted with breathless excitement and could not make herself clear at first. When she finally became calm enough to speak clearly, she told Cristina that she had seen a vision that morning, "I was walking down the street, my child, and suddenly your husband appeared in front of me. I did not see where he had come from. He came straight up to me and was smiling happily. He told me, 'Tell Cristina not to be afraid. I will return someday.' He then disappeared immediately. He looked the same as if he were right there in person, but then I realized that I had not seen his feet at all. He was a ghost, I'm sure of it."
"The woman sounded very convincing. Although Cristina felt some doubt about such an incredible story, she believed it and it made her very happy.
"I won't tell anyone else of this, child," the woman continued. "I think they might only laugh at us. You just believe that it is true within yourself and wait patiently for him to come back. Have faith."
"I agree."
A week later a woman came to town from Mexico who said she was a fortune teller. She went to the homes of people offering her services and most of them gladly let her read their palms and tell them what was to happen in the future.
Cristina was happy to have the woman tell her fortune. The woman told her several things that were pleasant to hear although she also told her some unpleasant ones like that she would be poor and have to work hard for many years. Then the woman was caught up in amazement.
"Oh, but now I see something that you will find hard to believe but I see it very clearly. I know it is true. I see your husband very clearly. He was killed, is that right?"
"Yes."
"He was killed in a very terrible accident, correct?"
"Yes, yes. Oh, how did you know that?"
"That is part of the God-given, supernatural talent I was blessed with. Now I see you and your husband together, talking and laughing very happy and I know that here it only means one thing. He is coming back to you. Of that I am sure."
Cristina was fully convinced now that Jesus was alive. The fortune teller was no doubt telling the truth since there was no way she could know her husband had died. The fortune teller was confirmed by what the first woman had told her.
Bubb never tried to communicate with Cristina again, but he kept a watch for years to see what was going on. Cristina worked as a very efficient maid the rest of her life and never had to worry about not having money. But she became very withdrawn and had no more voluntary human contact than was necessary. Whereas she had been a beautiful young girl before with bright colorful cheeks, she became completely inattentive to her appearance. Before very many years, she looked much older than her actual age with her hair brittle and a bent-over gait. While she was still attractive, several young men had tried to catch her romantic attention, but she had not only avoided them, she had treated them disdainfully.
She became increasingly cranky, puritanical, moralistic, and intolerant. She distrusted people and believed they all were basically evil and corrupted. Children playing in the streets who knew her, sensing her sour attitude and reacting to her unpleasant appearance when she got old, mocked her and yelled, "Witch, witch."
She also became extremely religious. She would go to church faithfully giving a large portion of the small amount of money she earned. In addition to going to church and following the old established doctrines, she developed a particular religious ritual and liturgy of her own based upon the main focus of her life, which was awaiting the return of her lost husband Jesus.
As time passed she became more and more certain that he was truly alive and would return. She prayed many hours in the day, and on certain days of the week as well as on religious holidays. She followed rituals that she had devised that involved praying to statues and observing intricate ceremonies. She also developed special prayers and reached a point where she would pray to Jesus himself. She developed a belief that he was already spiritually in her presence at times and was taking special care of her. She continued this way although he never came as he had promised.
© 2023 by Louis Lopez. Written in 1989.
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The story is still told among the people of the town of the woman from many years ago. She came as a newlywed from a small village in Mexico when she was 16. She and her young husband Jesus, whom she had known since childhood, had come north after he had gotten a job as an electric utility lineman. She was very pretty and quickly made friends with the neighbors due to her cheerful and helpful disposition. Her lack of maliciousness was evidenced in that many of her neighbors gossiped constantly, but while Cristina was curious to hear all the latest claims and accusations, she herself made it a point never to pass on any of the often vicious information.
