Culpable Media 
Identity

 Embarrassing Aussie Rules Gaffe

1.
Gerard Healy

Gerard and Sandy Roberts were hosting the Grand Final 
Marathon and were about to introduce the next game, being 
the 1996 Qualifying Final from the Gabba between 
Brisbane and Essendon.

Anyway, Gerard has gone to the Footy Year Book just to 
confirm that John Northey was the coach of Brisbane at 
the time.

The conversation went something like ...

Gerard: Of course this was the first year of the "Brisbane 
super team" courtesy of the Fitzroy merger.

Sandy: Oh yes, Brisbane were just about odds-on at the 
start of the season.

Gerard: Yes, I think they got around 8 or 9 Fitzroy players, 
and everyone thought that they would be unbeatable.

Naturally, when we go to the footage of the game we see 
Brisbane in their old jumpers, and the commentary team 
continually referring to them as The Bears.

Webster Nomination: Gerard Healy
Best Supporting Actor: Sandy Roberts 
(1/9/00)

2.
Xavier La Canna
The Age Online

Referred to Essendon's Dean "Wallace".
(4/9/00)

3.
Chris Lines
The Age

"Magpie Clem Michael was also tipped to move to St Kilda 
by way of the pre-season draft while Saints' defensive 
twins Darryl and Shane Wakelin were being wooed by 
former club Port Adelaide."
(10/9/00)

3.
Rohan Connolly
The Age

"Opinion seems to remain evenly divided. While the star 
core of Garry Hocking, Ben Graham, Craig Sholl and co 
remains on the ``experienced'' side....."

There were 3 Websterisms here from Rohan:
a) Craig Sholl played for North
b) He retired and won't help them next year, let alone 
Geelong.
c) Brad Sholl. Is he a star core member? No wonder 
Rohan mentioned mediocrity.
(11/9/00)

4.
The Age 
realfooty.com.au

A photo of Steven Sziller at pre-Draft training was captioned 
"Jason Heatley is tackled..."
(26/10/00)

5.
Mark Day
The Australian

In the normal course of events, the rights question may 
have lain doggo until next year. But it recently became 
apparent that the AFL was short of a quid because of the 
delay in it being able to sell its redundant Football Park 
stadium in Waverley, Sydney. It needed $30 million to settle 
on Colonial Stadium. What better way to get it than to bring 
on an auction for the rights?
(23/11/00)

6.
Sports Tonight

As Leanne (sp?) West introduced a story, they had the 
"Kangaroos" (aka North Melbourne Football Club) logo on 
screen next to Leanne's head.

A story about the cash-strapped Roos, perhaps?

No, it was a story about our World Cup-winning Rugby League 
Kangaroos and the official reception they were given with 
the Prime Miniature.

Beautiful work in Timmy's absence.
(18/12/00)

7.
Sports Tonight

The Richmond president, Clinton Casey, appeared on the Today 
show, bantering with Steve on the AFL TV rights. In his opinion, 
the best thing about the new deal was that "every VFL game 
would be on TV...one Friday night, 2 on both Saturday and 
Sunday, with the remaining on Pay TV".

Port Melbourne vs North Ballarat on Friday night - I'd like to see 
that.
(19/12/00)

8.
Graham Burke
Whittlesea Post
(Crooksy's local 
rag)

This was taken from a report on the Jika Cricket Association 
versus Diamond Valley Cricket Association representative cricket 
match:
 
"Justin Heatley (CamreaCC) of St Kilda football fame, was 
Jika's man of the match."
 
Yesterdays news, tomorrows fish n' chip wrappers.
(7/2/01)

9.
Bill Woods
Sports Tonight

Noted in a report on the Tigers' pre-season match against 
Hawthorn that they were "missing the firepower of forward 
Matthew Nicholson..."
 
No Billy, Matthew Nicholson is the dud cricketer. 

Matthew Richardson is the dud footballer.
(18/2/01)

10.
The Australian / 
www.afl.com.au

Reported the score from the West Coast - Collingwood 
Ansett Cup game as:

West Coast 12.6(78) def. Collingwood 12.8(80).

We have scoured the record books but we're pretty sure 
this is the first time in sporting history that a team 
has won a game (other than by disqualification etc) 
with a lower score than their opponent. (26/2/01)

11.
www.afl.com.au

"With the Crows entering their 10th season, it's time to 
look back on the evolution of the pride of South Australia."
 
Our maths says that the Crows are entering their 11th 
season.  (23/3/01)

12.
Kim Watkins
Channel 9

Told us that the Essendon v Kangaroos round 1 clash was the 
Grand Final replay.  (30/3/01)

13.
Tony Shaw
Channel 7

"...and Allen Jakovich forces it over the line for a throw in." 
Instantly swooped on by Jason and Huddo.  (1/4/01)

14.
Channel 7 
production

Superimposed the Richmond v Melbourne scores over the 
Swans v Adelaide highlights.  (1/4/01)

15.
Chip Le Grand
The Australian

At the Round 1 post-match press conference, Malcolm Blight 
said "Tonight is just the first dance.  We are a long way from 
the alter."
 
Le Grand managed to report this quote as "Tonight is just the 
first dance.  We are a long way from the Albert."
 
We wonder what Le Grand thinks this quote would mean?
(2/4/01)

16.
Tamsyn Lewis
The Fat, ABC

Noted that "Libba" won his Brownlow in the same year as 
Dipper.

Sorry Tamsyn - we think you're confusing Libba with another 
cheating thug who can't kick.
(9/4/01)

17.
Age Website

Either the AFL is trying to boost the Lions' Melbourne crowds 
by staging double-headers, or the Age website's fixture is 
stuffed:

Thursday April 12
Tigers v Lions
at MCG

Blues v Bombers
at MCG
(11/4/01)

18.
Sydney Morning 
Herald "Weekend 
Pass" column

Noted that "...Wayne Carey makes his season debut against 
the Swans after coach Kevin Pagan complained about the lack 
of support for the club's Sydney push."
(12/4/01)

20.
Kevin Bartlett
Channel 7

This one seems to happen every year.  

During the third quarter of the Sydney-Roos game, KB referred 
to Stuart Maxfield as "Maxwell."  

Past offenders of this Webster include David "Fordo" Fordham 
and Chris Mainwaring.
(14/4/01)

21.
Kevin Bartlett
Channel 7

After a close up on the North bench during the last quarter, 
KB said something like, "There's Jade Rawlings on the Roos'
bench."  

Now why the hell would a Hawthorn player be on the Roos' 
bench?  

KB corrected himself about a minute later informing us that 
it was Brady Rawlings on the bench.  Too late KB - it was 
out there. (14/4/01)

22.
Bruce McAvaney
Channel 7

During the desperate last quarter of the Dons-Blues game, 
Bruce referred to Dustin Fletcher as Damien Fletcher.  

Like KB, he corrected himself but it was too late.  

Chalk up one for Bruce. (12/4/01)

23.
Chris Reason
Sunrise
Channel 7

Informed viewers that Daryn Cresswell was to face a charge 
of striking the Kangaroos' Brad Rawlings. 

Gee those Rawlingses are causing confusion amongst 
Websterism candidates! (19/4/01)

24.
The Australian

In the preview of each game, they have a photo of a player 
who has been mentioned in their preview as the "Game Breaker". 
The only problem is that whoever did their cutting and pasting 
put the pictures in all the wrong places except for putting 
Michael Voss in the right place - so 7 photos are incorrect!

This must be a new record!!!  (20/4/01)

25.
Damian Mahoney
AFL website

Referred to Damian Peverill as "Justin". (21/4/01)

26.
Michael Davis
The Australian

"Leon Cameron played deep in defence for the Tigers and was 
one player who could well take charge of the skills session at 
Park Road during the week."

Looks like Mick Davis could do with a skills session at Punt 
Road to get his Melbourne geography right!
(21/4/01)

27.
Tom Hafey
ABC Radio

Made a couple of references to Bulldogs' ruckman "David" 
Darcy.  (28/4/01)

28.
Matt Burgan
AFL website

".....The Roos dominated the latter part of the first term with 
five goals to one and to their credit pegged back the margin to 
one point heading into the first break...."

Ummm, that would be a one point lead actually Matt. 

The Tigers always like to keep their fans interested and 
excited, and leading all the way is something they rarely do. 
(5/5/01)

29.
Charles Happell
Mark Duffield
The Age

"Pagan, Western Bulldogs coach Terry Wallace, Sydney's 
Rodney Eade and the Demons' Terry Daniher have been linked 
to the Dockers' coaching position for next year, but the 
Kangaroos' supremo last night repeated his wish of three 
weeks ago: that the Roos extend his contract beyond the 
end of next year."

Errrr, Neale Daniher coaches Melbourne.

(31/5/01)

30.
Sports Tonight

The reporter covering the Adelaide v Geelong game referred to 
Andrew McLeod as the "dual Coleman medallist".

(3/6/01)

31.
Kevin Sheedy
The Australian

“Have a look at the list of players who’ve won Norm Smith 
medals for being best on ground in a grand final and see 
how many were defenders.  

Gary Ayres was the first to win two Norm Smiths. He played 
in the back pocket for Hawthorn.  There’s Bruce Doull, David 
Dench, Geoff Southby, Ken Hinkley, Glenn Archer and 
Andrew McLeod.”

We don't seem to recall Dench, Southby or Hinkley ever being 
awarded the Norm Smith Medal.  And McLeod won his as a 
midfielder rather than a defender.

(7/6/01)

32.
The Australian

Referred to "Dion Rioli".
(11/6/01)

33.
Billy Brownless
Sunday Footy Show

In the St Kilda v Fremantle preview, Billy noted that "St Kilda 
had lost the last five matches coming into this one and 
Fremantle seven..."
 
Yeah Bill, and four more besides.
(17/6/01)

34.
Billy Brownless
Sunday Footy Show

Saints v Freo votes
 
8 votes for Adrian Hamill
 
Who? Try Aaron. (17/6/01)

35.
Channel 7 Teletype 
operator / J Dunstall, 

Dees v Lions votes:
 
1 vote A.Yze    Bris.
(17/6/01)

36.
Channel 10 News 

Person doing a report on Geelong training says that Ronnie 
Burns should be right to return this week when he still has 
1 week to go on his suspension.
(26/6/01)

37.
Mick Malthouse
AFL website / 
Australian

Wrote "Like McKenna, Worsfold, Mainwairing and Pike". 
One presumes he was referring to the former West Coast best 
and fairest winner Don Pyke.
(28/6/01)

38.
ABC TV News

Summary of Adelaide versus Collingwood said that 'Vardey', as 
opposed to Vardy, kicked two goals.
(1/7/01)

39.
Kevin Sheedy
Australian

In paying respect to Fremantle, Sheeds says that they have a 
good coach in 'Ben Allen'. 

One presumes he's almost as good as Ben Allan.
(30/6/01)

40.
Rob Waters
ABC news

When doing a story on the buildup to the Richmond v Hawthorn 
clash, Waters says that Richmond are going for their fourth 
straight win when in fact they were going for their fifth straight win. 
(6/7/01)

41.
Channel 7
Swans v Blues
telecast

Showed a Carlton logo instead of Collingwood when giving a 
progress score of Collingwood v Geelong. (8/7/01)

42.
Gerard Healy
Channel 7
Roos v Pies
telecast

With only a few minutes to go and the Kangas heading for a win, 
Healy says, "History says they've never lost four in a row under 
Denis Pagan. If they went down today that would be the first time 
ever... at the moment they look as if they're going to keep their 
record intact."

Incisive comments, but made redundant by the fact that the 
Kangas' losing streak was two, not three, before this match.
(13/5/01)

43.
Christi Malthouse
Channel 10 news

Doing a report at Richmond training, refers to Mark Gale as 
having got over his shoulder problems and should be right for this 
week.

Mark Gale is the ex-Freo player currently at St. Kilda whereas it 
is Brendan "Benny" Gale who is the Richmond player and 
receiver of a rather unwarranted testimonial year.
(11/7/01)

44.
Karen Lyon
The Age

"Cellar-dweller Fremantle has made just one change for today's 
game against the Western Bulldogs. Daniel Metropolis, who is 
ill, has been replaced by Dion Woods."

Metropolis hadn't played in Fremantle's side the week before 
(Round 14) and wasn't picked for this week's match (Round 15) 
either. Metropolis had only been picked as an emergency for the 
Round 15 match and had been replaced by Woods as an 
emergency. 
Two changes had been made to the Fremantle side, neither of 
which involved Metropolis and Woods.

(14/7/01)

45.
Greg Baum
The Age

"Daniel Bradshaw had withdrawn before one final last year to be 
with his wife as she gave birth."

All the reports at the time the story broke last year stated that 
the person having the baby was Bradshaw's 'partner or 'girlfriend', 
not his wife. 

(16/7/01)

46.
Dr Peter Larkin
Herald Sun

"CARLTON will be without its ruckman Mark Porter for the next 
month as a result of a thigh injury sustained against Fremantle 
on Saturday...."

The Doc's memory or crystal ball must be on the blink - he did 
his thigh last Saturday against the Dees.

(18/7/01)

47.
Andrew Ramsay
Jenny McAsey
The Australian

Report on Rodney Eade's comments of draft concessions:

"He cited the example of Brisbane, who made the finals in 1997 
and 1999, but finished last in 1998 with five wins, to indicate 
problems with the current system" Eade is quoted later in the 
article as saying that Brisbane were very close to getting 
concessions that year.

The reason Brisbane didn't get the draft concessions was 
because they won five games and a draw in 1998, not just five 
games. If they'd won only five games then they would've got the 
concessions.
 
(19/7/01)

48.
Dermott Brereton
The Age

"Players who can kick 100 goals a season are a rarity. In fact, 
the feat is so revered that in 1980 we introduced the John 
Coleman Medal for the top goalkicker in a home-and-away 
season. That year, Richmond full-forward Michael Roach 
became only the 15th player to kick the ton. And in doing so he 
won the medal."

The Coleman medal was introduced in 1981, not 1980. While 
Roach was the first winner, it was for his 1981 feat of 86 goals 
that won it, not his 1980 efforts when he kicked the ton.

(16/7/01)

49.
Herald Sun

A section titled "Saints' Days of Hell" is a timeline of St. Kilda's 
recent problems and contains the following excerpt:

8 Nov, 1999 - Star Nicky Winmar retires for personal reasons. 

Considering Winmar spent the year at the Western Bulldogs, 
how his quitting was relevant to the Saints is hard to fathom.

(20/7/01)

50.
Neil Kerley
Channel 7

Committed the annual Websterism of referring to Stuart 
Maxfield as "Maxwell".

(22/7/01)

51.
Channel 10

Whilst not technically a Webster, Channel Webster news on 
Friday night provided an interesting typo when Quarters listed 
his selections for Round 16.

Instead of Bulldogs, we saw BULLGOGS, which is easy to do.  
It's just a mixture of BULLDOGS and their other name - 
GOUGING Pricks, hence BULLGOGS.

(20/7/01)

52.
Channel 7

Notes that Swans big man Simon Feast is from "Stuart" in 
South Australia.

(25/7/01)

53.
Sports Tonight

There was something of a Webster on Timmy Tonight.

Their reporter - Anthony something-or-rather, his name is not 
important - was reporting from Dees training at the Junction 
Oval on the re-signing of Shane "Brownlow hangover" Woewodin.

He mentioned words to the effect that this will "keep 
Woewodin at the Junction Oval for another 3 years".

Now while the JO is the Dees' training base, it's never been 
their home ground so we don't think it's right to refer to it in 
the same way as you might "Linton Street" / "Moorabbin", 
"Glenferrie" or
"Arden Street".

A fine point of distinction, but we'll give this one a bare pass.

(27/7/01)

54.
Bruce Matthews
Herald Sun

Goes through a selection of famous Tribunal cases over 
the years and one listed is:

Carl Ditterich (Melbourne) striking Kevin Morris (Richmond) 
Round 22, 1980

Morris was playing for Collingwood, not Richmond, when 
this incident occurred.

(27/7/01)

55.
Sunday Age

Featured a report on the restructure of footy in Gippsland and 
referred to former AFL coach Geoff Gieschen.
(29/7/01)

56.
Herald Sun

The Herald Sun Home Page features an AFL ladder which has 
Adelaide in 4th spot and 11th spot.  So which Adelaide 
will show up on the weekend?

(3/8/01)