I was not at all prepared for what happened and as I write this am still in a fog. It was difficult for me to go to the funeral because, even though I had spoken to her on the phone several times I had not seen Aunt Jan in 3 or 4 years. She had been in a Boarding Home and the last time I saw her she was in the hospital with a broken leg. Jan was mentally challenged and also had a very rare skin disorder which caused her to have tumors all over her face and body. Her physical appearance always caused folks to stare. If it ever bothered her, she didn't let us know. What did bother her was if she had an epileptic seizure...not that she was embarrassed but felt bad that someone had to take care of her.
As we arrived at the funeral home the rest of the
relatives were also beginning to arrive. Aunts,
Uncles, cousins...folks I hadn't seen in ages.
Friends of hers I didn't know. I looked at her, lying
so peacefully in her casket. Her hands folded neatly
across her waist. Her face was serene and I thought
there was a bit of a smirk... As I think about it,
the one thing missing was a bottle of PEPSI. She
should have had "ONE TO GO!"
I shut myself "DOWN" as I didn't want to deal with
some unpleasant memories of my own. I ignored those
that were making me uncomfortable, although they
probably didn't even realize I was ignoring them. In
itself, it was what I considered a "NORMAL" opening
to a funeral. The CARE attendant spoke briefly and
introduced the minister of the Grace Lutheran Church
where Jan had been a member for many years. She was a
beautiful young woman such grace and soft ( yet very
strong) voice; all my anxieties were put aside very
quickly. She and my Aunt Marty recalled many memories
and how Jan just always, ALWAYS, loved and forgave
without ever questioning.
Many people,
especially her
brothers, were cruel and hurtful to her when they
were all growing up. I remember their taunts,
probably more clearly than she did; but maybe she
shut them out in her own way. She never asked for
anything in return for her unquestioning
love...except in a laughter of her own she would ask
for a PEPSI~COLA and a bag of popcorn.
As they continued with their messages, I heard
someone begin to weep deeply; yet I did not turn to
see the source but, instead, held tightly onto my own
Mothers
hands.
It came time for the readings of the
scriptures.
The kind Reverend invited us all to join her in
saying the 23rd Psalm. I closed my eyes to speak the
words and before I could even utter one sound the
most brilliant light appeared before me. Aunt Janice
was more beautiful than any sight I had ever
encountered...and between the words of the gospel she
