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Welcome to the JOKE page!

This is THE joke page i get the jokes off here though other links NONE of these jokes are made up by myself -- BUT i hope you enjoy!

Lets start with the MEN jokes first...

....After all "ladies First"....that does mean laughing too right??¿¿ So Girls I know you will love the bashing of OUR wonderful men!

  1. Whats the thinest book in the world?

    What men know about women!

  2. Whats mans idea of foreplay?

    Half an hour of begging!

  3. How are men and parkng lots alike?

    The good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped!

  4. What does a man consider a seven course meal?

    A hotdog and a sixpack!

  5. Why does man have a hole in his penis?

    So he can be open minded!

    The Origin Of Mans Sex Life

    It semms that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only 20 years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was adament , that was all man could have.

    Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him 20 years. "But i dont need 20 years", he protested, "10 is plenty for me." Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other 10?" The monkey graciously agreed.

    Then the Lord called the Lion and gave him 20 years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only 10. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other 10?" The Lion said of course he could.

    Then came the Donkey and he was given 20 years -- but like the other, 10 was suffeciant -- and again man pleaded, "Can i have the other 10?" The Donkey said yes he could!

    This explains why man has 20 years of normal sex life and 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of Lion about it, and 10 years of makin an ass of himself!

    You Might Be a Redneck.....

  1. You take a fishing pole to SeaWorld.
  2. Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
  3. Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger Headstone than your grandfather.
  4. Your backporch is bigger than your house.
  5. Exxon and Conoco offer you royalties on your hair.

    Top 10 Ways to get rid of a Bild Date

    1. Wipe your nose on your dates sleeve. Twice.
    2. Order a bucket of Lard.
    3. Howl and whistle at womens legs.. esp if you ARE female.
    4. DROOL.
    5. Lick your plate and offer to lick theirs.
    6. Order for your date. Order something Nasty.
    7. Auction your date off for silverware.
    8. If they are paying order the MOST expensive thing on the menu. And take only one bite.
    9. Break wind loudly. Add colorful comentary. Bow.
    10. Pass the Hat in the Resturant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.

      These are for the parents out there! If your kid plays hookie, try sending one of these notes to school with them! -- *These were the original notes sent with original spelling!

      1. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is Administrating.
      2. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
      3. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterady. He had (diahrea)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [words in () were crossed out].
      4. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having aganogover.

        Well thats it for the joke page i hope you liked it!!!!!! Remember Keep up the good work and let me know what you think!!!!!

        Click on the pic to go to the LAST page!!!!!!!!!

        *¤li>Whats mans idea of foreplay?

        Half an hour of begging!

      5. How are men and parkng lots a