I found out that I was pregnant in February 2003. My husband was thrilled and I was apprehensive about another child. Little by little I began to get excited and plan for another child. I started buying clothes for myself and the baby. We got a new crib and car seat. We even had names picked out for the baby. Everything was going good. I had a DR appointment for march 31 and was looking forward to it. In my heart, I knew something wasn't right and I had had dreams of losing my baby. That was odd because my dreams tell me what I am going to have and give me glimpses of my future child. When i got to the DR office the nurse could not find a heartbeat which didn't concern me too much because of the hospital track record. The doctor came in and did an exam which turned up that I was too small for my dates. The doctor then performed an ultrasound. He was quiet, too quiet. I will never forget lying on that table while the room is silent. I knew there was something wrong and I finally asked the doctor if he was dead. The doctor told me that he wasn't sure but he thought so. He stopped the ultrasound and took us into his office to discuss options. He wanted to schedule a D&C if a confirmation ultrasound showed the same results. Two days later he performed another ultasound only to confirm my worst fears. The baby we wanted so badly was dead. The DR already had the papers drawn up for the D&C but I chose not to do that. I wanted to let my baby enter the world as humane as possible which did not include having him taken from me. I decided on using Cytotec so I could labor and deliver at home. My water broke at about 7:15 pm and Micah came into the world sliently at 9:30 pm. He was so perfect and so small. I never had any idea that a baby could be so developed so early on. I will be forever grateful that I was able to hold and see my child. He was only a couple inches long with beautiful little eyes, a little mouth, still forming ears and nose, and such tiny little hands and fingers. The next day I ended up in the hospital having an emergency D&C due to complications. The tests I requested could not find a reason for my baby's death. I know that my grandma is in heaven holding, loving, spoiling, and singing to him until I can get there to take care of him. This has shown me just how short life really is and how precious children really are.