In high school, I was an A and B student. A lot of the things we studied seemed to come to me naturally, meaning I could get good grades without investing a lot of time or effort on my part. I also had an issue with attendance, or lack thereof. My teachers all seemed to agree that I was intelligent, but they let me get away with a lot because of that. There was one teacher though, with whom I could pull no punches. She was my English teacher my junior and senior year. She rode me constantly and really tried to push me to be better. She saw my potential but also my laziness. I took for granted that being “smart enough” was all I was going to need to get by in college. Her exact words were, “You’re gonna be in for a rude awakening when you get to college.” I wish I had known just how right she would be.

    College was more than a rude awakening for me; it was a complete disaster. Just the showing up part seemed to be quite a challenge for me. I was operating on some kind of misguided belief that my professors actually cared whether I came to class or not. I thought they would be like that high school English teacher and call me out for not using my full potential, as if it were their responsibility for me to learn, and not the other way around. I suppose that in high school it was that way, but I was not mature enough to realize that was not still the case. I made it two-and-a-half very unsuccessful semesters before I decided I just wasn’t going to go any more.

    For years after that, I kicked myself. Imagine squandering all that time, opportunity, and cash. The feeling that I really screwed it up lasted way past the time it took to pay back those student loans. Now, here I am ten years later feeling truly blessed that I have a chance for a do-over. I realize not everyone is lucky enough to get one. Why will it be different this time? I’m here because I want to be, and not because I feel like I have to be.

    The transition between high school and college is tremendous. It’s leaving childhood behind to become an adult, and actually having to own up to your responsibilities. It means really focusing on your priorities and being willing to do the work that goes with that. I’m just sorry it took me this long to really figure that out.