College: End of my first term (roommate crap)
When I was getting ready to leave for college, one of my biggest fears was if I would have a roommate that I could get along with. Lucky me, I seemed to get one of the worst roommates ever.
At first it wasn’t too bad. He just didn’t really talk to me much. Since I don’t usually talk to people until I know some things about them, this was a bit of a problem. I would soon find out a few things about him: he runs track, has ADD or ADHD, he’s hard of hearing, and he listens to music that I don’t particularly enjoy. With this against him and since his personality didn’t seem like much either, I didn’t seek out a friendship with him and just tried to coexist.
During the first semester I got annoyed by him a lot but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t deal with. he was kind of messy and didn’t take out his trash as often as he should. It stunk up the room a bit but I could live though it, I’ve been though worse. There was his music that I didn’t like: Limp Bizkit, The Beatles, Jimmy Hendrix, Sting, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dave Matthews Band. I don’t really hate those bands, I even have a level respect for all of then (except maybe Limp Bizkit), it’s just not my kind of music. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if he didn’t listen to it so damn loud and just play the same songs over and over again. Then there was him watching TV. Again, he had the shit up too damn loud and he would watch the kind of shows that I haven’t watched for five years: Sister Sister, Boy Meets World, etc. And then shows that I would never want to watch like The Anna Nicole Show. To make maters worse, he would watch this shit as late as 3:00am when I have to be to class at 9. One other thing he would do is trying to get my attention by just staring at me and making weird noises. I would just ignore him. If he wanted my attention he could just be civil and say “Hey Aaron” and I would give him my attention.
Now I don’t know what it was but after the first semester my roommate just became many times worse. Maybe he didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas and was taking it out on me or some shit. I don’t know. The room became much more of a mess. There were bottles that, for whatever reason, my roommate would piss in and leave around the room. Also unfinished pizza and other food would be left on the floor and his trash can was overflowing. His cloths were everywhere. The room smelled horrible and it was getting complaints from the rest of the people on our floor. None of the mess was my shit so I refused to clean up after the bastard until it was just too much. Cleaning that shit was one of the worst things that I have ever had to do and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone except my roommate of course. Messing with me to try to get a reaction also became some kind of game for him. He would wave his hand in front of my while I’m trying to play a video game or watching TV, he would dance around, shake his ass in my face, jump around grunting like an ape, and just about anything other than just saying something to me. Once he called me a freak for not talking or being effected by his shit. I was really proud of that. But his retarded shit had began to get to me. As a form of retaliation and as a way to try to get to sleep better, I took my video games, all my CDs, and the cable from my TV and locked them up in my chest. It was kind of funny because I think my roommate didn’t know why the TV wasn’t working at first. Unfortunately this increased the time he spent playing his music and messing with me for his own entertainment. He started to do this thing were he would make fun of me for popping my knuckles and other joints. He would say stuff like “Break, break, yeah, break those bones!” I don’t know yeah, but for a while, that shit really got to me. At a point I felt like choking him to death (this is where the poem came from). The night that this anger and hatred peaked, I didn’t something really stupid. I called home. I was wanting to talk to Adam but my mom picked up and Adam wasn’t home. I was crying because I wanted to go home and be with my friends. My mom asked what was wrong and all I said was “I want to kill my roommate” about three or four times. It must have sounded really bad because it scared her. She suggested that I take a walk so I did. The good thing was that I didn’t kill my roommate and after those feelings passed, nothing he did could really bother me anymore.
When I first got my roommate’s information before I even left to go to college, I sent him an email with a link to my website to introduce myself. Little did I know, the bastard actually went to my website pretty often and a few weeks before the end of the term, he signed my guest book for the first time. With me responding to his comments by editing making edits to his posts, we had more communication though my guest book in a few weeks than we ever had in the room all term. I deleated the original postes from my guest book because that kind of stuff just shouldn’t be in there. Here is what went on.
It started with him making a stupid comment about my poem ‘Choke’:
Monday 04/14/2003 8:33:48pm
Name: Roomate
Comments: Mu-ho-ha-ha...
Very funny peom, I'll you Moth$%$#%^.
[Drake: Oh, you think I'm joking? You ADD piece of shit, keep pushing me and see what happens... And what the FUCK is "I'll you motherfucker" supposed to mean! Goddamn you're a fucking idiot!]
Then he went to Adam’s guest book to ask him to tell me to fuck off? Dumbass:
Roomate
Go tell your brother to fuck off!!!
Drake Rain
Holy shit! I just realized that my fucking roommate can't even spell roommate! Goddamn, what a retard! Even I can spell roommate! At least you wrote a sentence that fucking makes since this time you faggadelic, ADD, waist of sperm, piece of shit!!!
Sorry for spaming up you G-book AdAm. You should really come with dad wedensday and punch him in the face. That would be some fuckin funny shit! Later homes
Then he comes back to my guest book to ask some stupid ass questions:
Thursday 04/17/2003 10:48:13am
Name: Rommate
Comments: Why are you so freak'n gay, all the time? Why are your clothes so gay, your face messed up? Man, I would hate be you.
[Drake: Wow, I didn’t think you cared. Here, I’ll try to answer your idiotic questions even though you probably weren’t expecting serious answers. I hope your ADD ass can understand it all:
1. Why am I so “freak’n gay” all the time? Well, I don’t have any problems with gay people, but, despite what ever fantasies you may be having, I am not gay. Now please stop jacking off while I’m trying to sleep on the top bunk. But if you’re referring to how I always ignore you and don’t talk to you, that is pretty simple. I fucking hate you. If I hate someone, they don’t exist to me. And after I killed you in “Choke” you are even more dead to me than ever.
2. Why are my clothes so gay? How superficial for you to care. Well, unlike your poser ass with your Tommy and Nautica bullshit, I don’t give two fucks about my clothes so I just wear generic shit. If someone doesn’t like me because I don’t wear cool clothes, fuck them and, defiantly, fuck you.
3. Why is my face so messed up? You actually have an opinion about how another man looks? Next to your dancing around and grunting like an ape to try to get my attention and the whole jacking off thing, that’s about the gayest thing you’ve ever done. Sorry but I don’t have a serious answer for this gay question.
4. You wouldn’t want to be me? Yeah, I know that isn’t a fucking question but I still have some shit to say about it: I would fucking hate to be you! I mean, shit, you have ADD, you can’t speak or write worth shit (fuck! you still can’t spell roommate right! goddamn!), you’re a fucking slob, I doubt you have any artistic ability or imagination of your own, and you’re bound to get your ass kick one of these days, if not by my friends then by someone else you are bound to annoy and piss off. How the fuck does someone like you get any friends? You probably don’t have any REAL friends.]
He comes back with one of the worst come backs I have ever seen. It wasn’t worth me giving a sarcastic reply:
Thursday 04/17/2003 8:34:25pm
Name: Rommate
Comments: Actually wrong, you are gay as fuck.
But it wasn’t long before he came back with another stupid ass post. There was so much shit in here that I wanted to talk about that I edited in comment all over that damn thing:
Friday 04/18/2003 2:02:53am
Name: Roommate
Web site: http://Fuck off!!! ---[Drake: you're the one spamin' MY g-book]
E-Mail: Your momma ---[how original]
Where you're from: Your anus ---[get out of my ass please]
Comments: You are little piece of shit trying to me look bad. ---[another wonderfully shity sentence. Good job fuck nut. Here‘s some help, *You are a little piece of shit trying to make me look bad. I don‘t know how the hell I could make you look any worse but whatever.]--- You are the most homosexual, ---[you must not get out much. There are people out there much more gay than myself, you know, to the point of actually really being gay.]--- lazy, ---[perhaps]--- waste of life, ---[aren't we all?]--- piece of shit person I have ever seen. No wonder you never made friends at Eastern. ---[I couldn’t make friends because your rotting piss and pizza stank up my fucking room making me depressed and tired from lack of clean air and made it impossible for me to have anyone over to my room. Thanks ass wipe!]--- I hate looking at your face, ---[then don‘t fucking look. I don‘t look at yours. Why the fuck are you always staring at me?]--- someone needs to teach you a lesson. ---[bring it bitch]---
There are two things you need to do to if you ever want to get a real life:
1. Start working out-(you lazy piece of shit), ---[I have been, I am, and will continue to through out the summer. I didn‘t need you to state the obvious, dipshit]--- didn't you ever take personal fitness, ---[yeah, it‘s a requirement in nearly all public school systems]--- I saw you trying gay sit-ups, ---[not trying, doing]--- you don't even know how. ---[wow, lay on your back, sit up, lay back on your back, sit up, repeat. So much can go wrong!]--- AND LOSE SOME Fat!! ---[already have, thank you. Over 50 pounds of the shit since I’ve been at Eastern. Surprised you haven‘t noticed with how much you stare at me.]--- You will fuckin die you lazy piece of shit... ---[no shit, just like everyone else.]---
2. Quit over obsessing yourself with this Japanese shit.. ---[I’m not obsessing you dumb fuck, I’m studying. It’s my fucking minor. Oh yeah, I forgot you don’t fucking study or go to your classes so I guess you can‘t tell the difference.]--- You waste of sperm, ---[I‘m glad you‘re good a recycling insults.]--- I know are homesexually obsessed with this shit. ---[and what the fuck is up with all this gay shit? Are you homophobic or something?]---
Thanks for being a fuckin loser through high school and puttin me through this shit. ---[I wasn’t a loser in high school and there is no way that you could even find out such information. And what the fuck did I put you through? Please, tell me. Did me doing nothing at all really hurt you so much? Or are you talking about how I wrote that note to everyone on the floor telling them that you pissed in pop bottles and left them and half eaten pizza pies all over the room after I had to clean up that shit? That was self defense. I wasn’t going to let everyone think I was responsible for that shit. Whatever man. Glad you were able to spell roommate right this time... /Drake]---
Just for fun, Adam made a post in his guest book in response to the whole thing in the form of a little rap. He actually wrote a lot more shit but his guest book has a 1000 character limit for posts so it got cut off. That pissed him off so he deleted it from his guest book:
Silent A
yo yo yo this is adam up in this mother fucker, and i gotz a song i wrote just for my brother's college roommate, so here we go.
you're a fuckin faggot, i bet you suck dick, next time you see My Brother, how bout you lick it reAl quick? you like to jack off when my brother is right above you, i bet you wish his bunk was lowered a foot or two. that way, you could put a hole in his bed, and when there's dreams going through his head, about smacking, biting and choking your neck. don't make silent a come and put you in check, cuz i don't fuck around, i'll smack your cheek with my penis, and there won't be sexual feelings between us. my brother isn't gay, but you wish he was, so you could use your tongue to clean out his belly button fuzz. that's the end of the song, and i just fucked you up, try to come back with a rhyme, and i'll send some of my sperm back to michigan with aaron in a cup. damn, i gotz skillz., this shit is over go tell your mama you need one of those midol pills.
I suggested that Mike write a little rap about it too and his is what he put on my guest book:
Sunday 04/20/2003 9:43:31pm
Name: Mike Bz
Comments: You’re faggot ass hoe (ha ha) with no balls
Try and talk shit to my friend and you’ll get a call
Won’t say no names-or play games
When you answer I’ll just say how long you’ll live-in days
Sounds like the Ring? No kidding, for real
I dreamt up the idea while getting lit on distill
Don’t let me see you, because looks can kill
I’m serious no longer am I influenced by distill
I’m very sober, influenced by my own burning rage
It’ll be like a parrot and lion locked up in the same cage
“Someone should teach you a lesson” that’s what you said
You couldn’t teach anyone anything you can’t control your head
Really let’s think about it, what could you teach
How to sit in front of people and beat your meat?
That’d be funny, but no one would take the class
Especially from your ADD ass
And that was the end of it. He never posted another thing to our guest books and if he ever does I’m just going to delete it. It’s all over, I never have to see this bastard ever again and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
May 20, 2003
