Mick Foley - Update Archives

I wanted to do something to cut down on loading time, so I decided to put my updates in an archive. That way you can read my updates on the Updates page and if you missed anything, you can come here to read what the Hardcore Legend was up to on previous WWF shows and other TV appearances. Hope this helps everyone out.

Monday, June 26, 2000

On Raw is War, WWF Spokes-person, Shawn Michaels, introduces Mick Foley as the new WWF commissioner!!! As the crowd chants "FOLEY", Mick promises to illiminate the McMahon-Helmsley fraction's lengthy speeches and to make a decision on who would be the number one contender for the WWF championship belt. Mick also states that he knows his new hair style makes him look more powerful.

Foley then decides to have some fun with the Tag Team Champions, Edge and Christian. The duo made the mistake of treating the new commish as a lacky, demanding their own dressing rooms and for Mick to bring them sodas...sodas RULE, you know. Anyway Mick happily delivers their sodas AND news that they will be facing the Undertaker and Kane that night or Mick would take their belts from them. Don't mess with Mick...especially Commissioner Mick!

Mick also decides (much to my delight) to give his ol' pal and former partner, Al Snow, a chance at the hardcore belt!! Mick even apologized to him for the "Al Snow jokes" in his book (Its filled with 'em.)! Mick does, though, laugh and spit soda (they rule, you know) into Snow's face after Al gets confused and thinks he's going to get a chance at the WWF champion belt. Poor Al.

(Notice the Commissioner shirt Mick's wearing.)

Raw is War Monday July 3, 2000

Fast forward to this monday. Foley comes out happily to "Foley" chants and steps into the ring. Makes a very cute joke about bannishing Scotty-too-hotty's worm move. The Rock comes out and welcomes Mick back and they shake hands...Mick asks the Rock how it feels to be the champ, but before the Rock can answer, Mick screams out "It doesn't matter how you feel!". Mick then slides out of the ring and proceeds to run around it holding his fist up and chanting "Foley!" with the crowd. Dwayne Johnson (Rock's real name) grins and laughs but threatens Mick "Rock told you to never use his catch-phrases, Mick."

Caffiene-freak, Shane O'Mac, comes out and begins a tyrad about the four-fathers and leading the company into the new millenium...Mick gets back on the mic and says that because of the crowd (they were yelling a tasteful "Shane's a pussy" chant), that he couldn't quite understand what Shane was saying (*insert King Lawler's Mick Foley one ear joke here*). Mick determines that Shane was saying that he should be the number one contender for the champion belt and declares a match between Rock and Shane...much to Shane's shagrin...he was still overly limping from the chokeslam the Undertaker gave him at King of the Ring pay per view. Later Mick explains he lost his "guys" in much worse fights...joking! Mick was joking...he walks away from a frightened Shane laughing and talking to his...um..."guys".

Well now Mick didn't forget his buddy Triple H. No not for a second. He happily informs The Game that he is to go against Rikishi that night for a chance at the Intercontinental tile. That mischievious Jericho, though, comes in during the match and our un-sung villian gets the patented Stink-face from Rikishi. Oh whoa is our poor lil former champ.

Another small thing to mention...before Shane McMahon gets pulverized by the Rock, McMahon-cronie, Pat Patterson shows up before Foley backstage to plead for Shane's release from this match..Patterson gets a gavel to the thumb for his troubles. SO the other cronie, Gerald Brisco enters next. He pleads and pleads saying Shane is like a caged animal right now. Mick says he isn't..Jerry says he is...Mick: isn't, Jerry: is!...Mick: he is!, Jerry: He isn't! DOH! Jerry leaves in a huff and we are witness to the sounds of Mick singing (to the tune of Kenny Roger's "Lady") "Lady...I have always wanted to see you without your clothes on". What a horn-dog!! I love it!!!

Smackdown Thursday, July 6, 2000

Foley seems to be having a blast as new commissioner. He comes out at the beginning all business-like though and apologizes for having too much fun. He then calls out Benoit and Jericho to explain their actions. Benoit answers the call and comes down to the ring. Mick rips the crippler a new one and wants to know why he put his friend Chyna into the crippler cross-face. Benoit explains that he doesn' have to explain himself to Foley. Enters Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum (Edge and Christian). They announce that they are so impressed with the awsomeness of their fellow canadian and think Foley should cut him some slack. Well Mick explains that he loves Canada...but they aren't in Canada! To solidify the new-found friendship, the commish slaps the trio together to face Chyna, Eddie Guerria and the Rock that night (The boys know not what they do, eh?)

(Mick gets serious..for a little bit anyway)

(Mick lays into the Canadian Crippler)

Then there is Triple H. Mick may have taken one too many blows to the head, but he hasn't forgotten it was Triple H that retired him! He puts the former champ into a handicap match against Keintai and the Brooklyn Brawler! The shocker of the night is when the Brawler actually wins!!

Before that though, Mick and Triple H actually have a little confrontation in Mick's "office" (actually set up in some kind of cage in the back!). Triple H demands that he get a match with Jericho or he will hurt Mick. Now Triple H may have gotten the better of Mick in the past but Foley isn't easily intimidated and he let Hunter know it! He threatened him with a $5,000 fine for each punch. Triple H tells his wife, Stephanie, to get his wallet, but Mick has the last word.

"Go ahead, Triple H, and when I get up, it won't be just your wallet I hurt, it'll be your pride. You understand me? I want you on our show because you are that damn good, and I want that match with Jericho at Fully Loaded because it will be that damn good, but as good as you are, as much as I want you, I do not need you! You are not bigger than the WWF, and you are not bigger than me! You take one punch and when I get up I'll make damn sure your days of main eventing are over! You understand me? I will book you at every circus and sideshow in this country! I will book you in gymnasiums. Nobody will know who you are."

Triple H makes another threat but Mick tells him to "get the hell out of my office".

Now that is mic work at its best people! That is one reason why Foley is a wrestling god!

Raw is War Monday July 10, 2000 :

Well sadly Mick is not going to be on TV this week. He is traveling South East Asia on a publicity tour. They love the former King of the Death Match's over there! In his absense, though, the kids will play. I'm willing to bet Triple H will get a little more than grounded when Mick gets back. Tsk Tsk!

Raw is War Monday July 17, 2000 :

Live from Albany New York, Mick Foley is in da howuuuse! As soon as the show begins "wreck" (Foley's theme song) hits and the Albany crowd goes insane! Mick happily comes out to the usual "Foley" chant, mic in hand. He begins by explaining what great wrestling fans Southeast Asia has and then goes on to say he's happy to be back home. He then starts a "U.S.A" chant for an easy pop (aka good reaction from the crowd). Then says he's happy to be in Albany (another easy pop...Mick is the king at getting easy pops). Mick is "the" man of the night though when he goes onto say that he spoke with the battered Chris Jericho and agreed to let Jericho have Triple H in a "Last Man Standing" match. In other words...the object is to knock your opponent into unconsciousness! Suddenly an eerie gong can be heard and the lights go out.

(Daddy's Home!)

American Badass, Undertaker comes to the ring with his own mic and begins to demand a match with Kurt Angle that night. Taker plainfully says if he doesn't get it he will hunt Kurt down and..well he'll "really hurt that boy". Mick says that if the Undertaker is trying to intimidate him...well it worked. Mick tries to cooperate with Taker but no sooner he starts to speak then all goes black and red lights appear at the entrance of the ramp.

(Taker's not a happy badass tonight)

Kane strides (as only he can!) down the ramp and into the ring..with his own mic!! He firmly states that havoc will errupt if his brother does not get Kurt in the ring that very night. Mick tries reasoning with the two big men (even at 6'2, Mick looks short next to these guys!), but Kurt Angle shows up on the Titantron and begs for forgiveness from the Undertaker for all the silly things he's done...he thought that the singing telegram had worked but guessed it didn't. Kurt, for some reason, doesn't plead his case very well...wonder why. Even the crowd broke out into an "asshole" chant...guess because he mispronounced the name of the city...owl-banie. Ouch.

(Kane warns Mick)

Mick, in his infinite wisdom books (aka plans) Undertaker and Kane in a match with Kurt Angle in Kurt's buddy...Triple H!! Well the titantron turns into a split screen and Triple H appears instantly arguing that he does not want to be anywhere near Kurt Angle. The match is set though. Taker, Kane, Kurt and Triple H seem to disappear. Being very proud of himself, Mick states that the main event is going to be a very good one..but can't quite get it out when...

"CAN YOU SMELL...!"blares over the sound system and the sheep...um crowd goes insane again. The Rock enters with...you guessed it, his own mic and asks...no demands a match with Benoit. The poor commish can't even get a sentence out when more music begins to play! Chris Benoit, Shane McMahon, Edge and Christian appear at the top of the ramp. Benoit joins the group with...say it with me...his own mic and readily accepts the Rock's invitation. Shane pulls out a mic (sound guys must have been going crazy tonight!) and starts to impersonate the Rock ...but Mick stops the self-proclaimed "Simba" in his tracks. He explains to Simba that he can't steal the Rock's catch-phrases...only MICK can steal the Rock's catch-phrases...cause it just doesn't sound cool when Shane does them. Hee hee.

Mick makes a decision...he puts Benoit, Edge and Christian in a match with the Rock and the Acolytes!! Pretty cool. Anyway. All are happy and go away.

Ultimately during the caotic match, Christian pins Farooq...causing the Rock and the Acolytes to lose. Rock goes on a savage rampage and tries his best to end Benoit's career back in the locker room.

Kane got the pin in the main event...mostly due to the way Kurt kept tagging out and running out of the ring every five seconds, leaving Triple H to get most of the beating during the match!

But before all that, Tazz comes to the ring to explain why he has been attacking everybody. He says he will only explain his actions when the federation finds a real man to rip the words from his mouth. "Wreck" begins and Mick storms out to the ring. He chews Tazz out for his behavior and swears he will find someone to go against him...

"WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT?" interupts Mick and the crowd goes crazy again (I, myself, was screaming at this point too from my livingroom) as Al Snow comes down the ramp bowing HEAD!! He jumps into the ring... gets on a mic (they are quite aboundant tonight)and begins to yell at Tazz...then politely stops and says "Hey Mick"..."Hey Al" Mick replies and steps back. Al goes back to yelling at Tazz and says he is sick of the way Tazz is acting. He pleads with Mick to give him the match with Tazz at the next Pay-per-view, Fully Loaded. Mick, bluntly...and I'm sorry but somewhat harshly tells Al that when he is in a pay-per-view match that he chokes. Al gets a little upset and starts to protest but Tazz grabs him and puts him in a Tazz-mission...or some other Tazz move and rolls him up into a ball! Mick gets Tazz off of Al and Tazz rolls out of the ring. Mick calls out to Tazz and tells him that if he wants Al at Fully Loaded then he'll get Al at Fully Loaded!!!!!!!!! He also warns that when ...Al wakes up...that Al's going to be very...very...mad! So there you big orange meanie! Mick told you!

(Al steps up to take on Tazz)

All in all a very good night...Mick proved once again that he has a more sadistic mind then all the boys in the locker room put together! They'll keep trying to match him though, which will be most entertaining to watch them get put in their place by the commish!

Smackdown Thursday July 20, 2000 :

Finally the commish has come back... to Long Island!! Mick, of course, comes out at the beginning to do his little recap of the week and to tell how he feels about the state of affairs. Also to book "surprise" matches for the whiney little boys in the back who interupt his little speeches! Tonight would be no different. Mick was warmly yet loudly welcomed home by the Long Islanders. "Foley" chants insude and Mick was da man. His little homecoming was quickly cut short though by a barrage of interuptions beginning with a bruised and bandaged Chris Jericho! Jericho demanded a match with Triple H...hmmm big surprise there! Then along comes a bandaged Chris Benoit with caffiene-king, Shane McMahon. Chris demanded retrobution against the Rock tonight, since the Rock attacked him on Monday so severly...never mind the fact Benoit's been slapping his cross-face crippler hold on everybody that happened to be walking by!

Enters Triple H with his ho..I mean wife, Stephanie to add his own bit of whining to the mix. BUT as Jericho was readying himself for The Game, Benoit gets jealous of all the attention Triple H and Jericho are getting and attacks Jericho with the cross-face! Mayhem ensues and poor Mick, still suffering from jet-lag, is forced to turn cactus on Benoit and hold him back. Unbeknownst to Mick, Triple H is "pedigreeing" Jericho mercilessly! Once he finds out though the kids run out of the ring and leave Mick and Jericho behind. Mick decides to teach them a lesson though and books Jericho and the Rock against Triple H and Benoit for the main event! Fast forward to later that night...(*does the Wayne and Garth "wibbla wibbla" motion with fingers*)...Jericho and the Rock end up mentally snapping and venture to physically snapping Triple H and Benoit respectively! Somehow Jericho sneaks Triple H into a "lion tamer" and holds him there for dear life! Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, the Rock, with startling quickness traps Benoit in his own "crippler-cross-face"! Every ref employed by WWF comes running out to save the bad guys but don't have the strength to easly pull Y2J and the Rock away. Winners: Rock and Jericho!

For some odd reason that was the only time Mick is seen throughout the whole show! I say he left the building and went to spend a night in his own bed! Home sweet home!

Viewer Report : Mick will be appearing...well his likeness anyway, on MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch August 3. Check local listings for time!!

Fully Loaded Sunday July 23, 2000 :

Part One

After the Hardy Boyz with Lita and T & A with Trish end the first match of the night, the camera cuts to the backstage area. Mick is standing in the hallway with some guy in a suit...

Mick: So you're asking me if I was afraid of the bed of nails? Do I look like the type of guy...
Edge: (running up to Mick) Mick! Mick! Mick! Its Christian!
Mick: Yea?
Edge: We have a problem. I think he has a case of food poisoning!
Mick: (laughs and slaps Edge on the arm) Hey you been training with those belts? Food Poisoning! How convenient your brother gets food poisoning on the same night as you're going to defend the belts, uh, I think what he has is a case of, uh, Fraidy-Cat-Itis!
Edge: Mick, look, we have no problem with defending the belts...look at me, I'm ready...
Mick: You're ready?!?
Edge: I'm ready and I'm serious! He's violently ill right now. If you want to get a doctor or an EMT if you...he needs the help anyway right now.(Edge walks away)
Mick: Okay. Okay. (calling out to Edge) Thanks!

Part Two

After a wonderful match between orange munchkin...I mean Tazz and Al Snow(!!!), camera cuts to Edge standing in a locker room looking sickened. In the meantime we hear Christian in a stall throwing up, what does sound to be, violently indeed!

Edge: Hold it in lil buddy, come on! Ahh don't drowned in there, okay? [*barf sound*]

Locker room door opens and Edge goes to meet Mick and an EMT.

Edge: I told you! [*barf sound*] Do you hear that? (to EMT) I am so glad you're here. (calling out) Come on lil buddy! You okay?

Christian walks out of the stall holding his stomach and makes it over to the others.

Christian: Oh! Oh! Oh!
EMT: Okay let me check him...
Mick: (looking serious) Check him out...
EMT: (to Christian) Hold your head back. (He looks into Christian's eyes with a little medically approved flashlight.)
Christian: We got to defend out titles tonight, man!
EMT: Oh they're not dialating!
Christian: We're the fightingest champions of all time! I have to go [*gag sound*]! I have to go!
Mick: (to Edge) I owe you an apology, man. (slaps Christian on the back) Hope you feel better, man. (Christian doubles over and runs to stall) [*barf sound*]

Part Three

Well Saturn won the European belt in the third match of the night. Wow! Camera cuts to Edge and Christian in the locker room packing up and smiling.

Christian: Boy we made off! That was too easy!
Edge: He is so gullible! Food poisoning rules!
Christian: Yea it does! (They high-five)
Mick enters
Mick: Hey guys, I'm real sorry about...(he looks at their bags)...the...food poisoning...wait a second...wait a second! I was going to tell you that you guys had a pass tonight, but that I was going to make you defend the belts on RAW...
Christian: (doubling over) Wait a second...its back!
Edge: (pointing at Mick) I think you make him sick!
Edge and Mick follow as Christian goes to the stall.
Edge: Come on lil buddy! Hold it in!
Mick: (almost inaudible...something about changing his mind)
Christian: (from inside stall) Oh god! [*barf sound*]
Mick: Jesus! Sounds bad!
Christian: Oh Mick! Don't come in here! I'm totally barfing in here! I'm totally...ohh [*barf sound*]
Mick climbs ontop of a urinal and looks over the stall wall.
Christian: Oh its bad! Its really bad! [*barf sound*]
Cut to Christian bent over the toilet and dumping cups of sand(?) into the toilet at the appropriate times...then Christian looks up innocently...
Mick: (laughing) You know from my perch atop this urinal, I can honestly say you guys are like so totally busted, man! Oh thats great! (getting down) Thats good! I gotta give 'em an 'A' for effort! (walking towards door)
Christian: (running after him)Mick! I don't know who put that bucket (of sand) in there! I was really sick before!
Mick: (seriously) Look guys, I'm not a medical doctor, although I've spent alot of times in the E.R. before, although in my humble medical opinion, you guys are gonna get your asses kicked tonight when you defend the tag belts...against the Acolytes...(leaving) That was good!

Added Bonus

Christian and Edge go to the ring and start their schtick about the city of Dallas. They say some pretty distastful and crass jokes about JFK and Dallas. Draw your own conclusions. When Edge and Christian start to do there five second pose, Farooq and Bradshaw come out. Farooq starts after them, but Bradshaw stops him and grabs a mic.

Bradshaw: I want you two boys to hear this because in a second my boot's gonna be in your ear and you wont to be able to hear a damn thing!! You walk into these other towns and get your cheap heat by making fun of the town!! Well now you've come into the city that has five Superbowl Championships! And come into my home state that has won every major...that has won every major sporting championship there is!! You have the audacity to poke fun at us, thats fine!! When you're country is known only for high-octane beer and two blonde hair punks like you!! So listen son, tonight in this building where one year ago, Dallas won the Stanly Cup Championship (nice slam against the Canadian duo)!! In this building where Dick Murdoch and Bruiser Brody, the Freebirds and the Von Erich's ruled!! Tonight we're gonna give another memorable evening they can tell about to their kids forever!! The night the Acolytes made Edge and Christian their personal bitches!!! (The crowd goes absolutely insane!)

I added this because I really like the APA, the speech was phenominal and you never see Bradshaw that pissed off. Edge and Christian did get their asses kicked up one side of the ring and back. Edge, though, gets himself and Christian disqualified by using the belt-to-forehead favorite. They get to retain the belts...but Mick Commish won't let that go on for long!

Part Four

Story set-up: Final main event of the three main events that night, Benoit is in the ring with a chair, ref takes it away, hands to Rock (don't have a clue why), Rock drops it. Shane come into the ring, he hits ref with another chair, ref down. Shane goes after Rock, Rock grabs chair, chases Shane out of the ring, Ref turns to see Rock yelling at Shane with chair in hand, Rock goes back and puts Crippler-Cross-Face on Benoit, Ref crawls over and signals for the bell. Finkle (announcer) goes to ref then announces that Benoit is the champ due to Rock's DQ, Benoit and Shane go up ramp, Mick comes out, grabs mic and says:

Mick: I said that in this match the title could change due to a disqualification...BUT, I sure as hell didn't see a disqualification...nobody in Dallas Texas saw a disqualification! There was no disqualification!! So as the WWF Commissioner, Earl Hebner (dirty ass ref!), I am ordering this match to continue! (Bell rings...Rock wins with a Rock-Bottom as the sheep...um audience, goes crazy. Mick looks on like a proud poppa.)

Raw is War Monday July 24, 2000 :

Well I'm running a little behind here on the updates...like anyone reads them anyway...I just like putting them out there for fun...make myself feel involved I guess.

Mick is out at the start, of course, doing his nice little interview about the pay-per-view...why do they call them interviews anyway? Nobody is out there with the person asking them questons! Well Mick is out and to be honest I was so caught up in WCW's Nitro that I missed the first 20 minutes of Raw. I know...bad fan. Anyway, I later find out that Mick was having a nice little conversation with Benoit and Shane...well as nice as it could get with Shane holding back Benoit while he goes on about the history of WWF's leaders and how Mick is changing everything for the worse. Waa Waa. Anyway, Triple H's child-bride, Stephanie comes out and starts in on Mick about how she demands he make a match between Benoit and the Rock. Mick seems to ignore the ...demand and reveals to the world that for one minute, while recovering from a head injury over a year ago, he actually found Stephanie attractive BUT (and I'm sorry but I love this!) witnessing her actions the past few weeks has made him inclined to agree with Jericho's assessment of her (I can't get it word for word but its something to do with trash-bag-bottom-feeding-ho). Stephanie takes so much offence to this that she looses the air out of her head and smacks my man...I mean Mick!!! Ooooooooh!

Mick looks at her with cold (but gorgeous) eyes and tells her that he could fine her for that...fire her even but he wont. Instead he decides to put her and Shane in a first time ever (for WWF anyway) Brother-Sister tag-team match with someone of his choosing. Muhahahahaha! AND if Benoit or Triple H interfere then the whole bunch is fired!! Hee hee hee hee hee

Fast forward to match (*does the Bill and Ted wibbly-finger move*)...Steph and Shane are waiting in the ring and Lita comes out...Shane consols Steph and tells her its okay...then shows his inherited adams-apple bobbing up in down in his throat when "Weeeell Its the Big Show" music hits and the Big Show stalks out with a deadly look on his face...Shane runs, Big Show runs, Steph watches, Lita waits....Shane leaves with Big Show in tow...Steph slowly turns around...Lita proceeds to show her how to kiss the canvas. UNTIL Trish Stratus shows up (much to the college boy audience's delight...and my fiance's..which is fine...I have Mick!...well you know what I mean...ANYWAY) and takes down Lita and Steph and Lita walk away arm and arm.

Later in the show (*wibbly-finger move again*), Shane is still running from the seven footer Show and the end up in all places...the ring...while an Undertaker/Kurt Angle match is going on. Taker choke slams Shane, then Angle...then hands Shane over to Show per Show's request. Show starts to chokeslam Shane but lets go. Shane does a shimmy infront of Taker and points to Show...Taker turns and lands himself in a Chokeslam! Poor Big Show...when will he ever learn!!

Back to Mick...he is backstage with Edge and Christian. All seating around Mick's...um...well desk. Tonight his office is in some storage room covered with car seats, milk crates and a typewriter!

Mick teases them about how the Acolytes kicked their butts all over the place but Edge defends by saying...hey we still have the belts! DQ's Rule! Mick begs to differ and to show them just how strongly he feels about it, he books them in a match with the Dudley Boyz and the Hardy Boyz! They are LIVID but being the lucky sons-of-B's they are, Edge actually ended up getting a pin in the midst of the havoc!

A little bit later, Kane decides to pay the Commish a visit. But to make sure that Mick notices his arrival, the Big Red Machine starts throughing car seats and milk crates around! Kane says he wants Shane tonight, Benoit tonight, Kurt tonight and the Big Show as well. Big Show and Shane had already conveniently left the building but Mick, to sooth the savage beast, puts Kane and Rock in a match against Benoit and Angle. Mick seems to love the tag-team thing!!

Mick meets up with Angle backstage and declares quite forcefully (he's cute even when he's pissed) that he and Benoit are to go up against Rock and Kane. Then demands he takes his stupid shorts off cause he looks like an idiot! Woo Hoo!

Big Show ends up coming back with Shane and beats Kane's poor masked head into the WWF.com sign under the Titantron!! Rock gets pummeled by kicks from all the men at the end.

Mick looked as fine as ever tonight...even got a little singing in there when he talked about how he's Rulings Rule!! How cute is that!

Smackdown Thursday July 27, 2000 :

Mick and Rock talk backstage. Rock looks peeved as hell and Mick is just really shaking his head not daring to talk. What is it about the Rock that intimidates Mick?? Must be those 16 (I could be exxagerating) chair-shots Rock gave Mick...in one night...while Mick's hands were behind him...handcuffed together..BEHIND him!!! Which, I guess is one reason I'm not a big Rocky fan. But back to the updates...

Mick comes out to the ring for his schpeel. He talks about several things including the Rock. I'll be honest. I can't remember much of it cause I had guests (wrestling fan buddies that always come over to watch ...cause our house is the place to be!! That and we have a big screen TV) (kidding guys...I know you love us!) Anyway the funny thing was is that I mentioned aloud as to how Mick is always so serious when he comes to the ring nowdays! Well Mick starts off by saying he generally likes to smile...and that he thinks he has a very nice smile (HE DOES!! Even if Lawler makes fun of his missing front teeth!) but he hasn't had reason to (guess its all coming back to me now that I'm typing this) since Shane and his crew reeked havoc on Monday. Big Show comes out with Shane and Big Show explains how it was his own fault for being layed up with a bum knee...that Shane busted up his knee with a cinderblock for his own good! Yea...uh huh.

Mick decides that Big Show will team with his "lil buddies" (no not those ones...that what I thought too at first and was starting to become jealous of the Showster) Edge and Christian against the Dudley Boyz (YEA!) and Kane!! Oooooers! Can't remember who won that match but Kane ended up connecting with a table. Poor baby! :-( Then Triple H with Trish (HUH?) against Jericho and Lita! HHH ends up leaving the arena though after a spat with his child-bride, Steph. Steph didn't take to kindly to seeing HHH standing behind a bent over Trish in their locker room/lounge. HHH was just showing Trish some wrestling moves though...poor Steph...HA HA HA!!!

Trish later goes up to Mick...starts wiggling her scantly-clad body against My Man..I mean Mick's desk and wants to know if the match can be cancelled. Mick plays along and uses little pet names on Trish (@#$ Damn Sl*T!!!!)like pookie, lovey and Trishy-poo [insert Christian's BARF SOUND here!!!]!!!! He then gets up and starts towards Trish, who (STUPID SL*T) inturn backs away....then (MUCH to my relief!!) starts ripping on her about how if she doesn't get out there in the ring that he will sue her for sexual harrasement!!! (which she threatened on Raw since Mick booked her and Lita in a strap-match) He'll replace the missing HHH with Benoit but she'd better get out there or he'll sue...because he feels so "violated" then he starts to rub his hands all over his body and does a shiver motion. Dear Gods...talk about violating ...I'd violate him...oh...*ahem* sorry!

Can't remember what happens in the match but Jericho gets the crap beat out of his head with a steal chair by Benoit backstage. Guess they're gonna give Jericho some time off for his real life wedding! Just like they hurt Taker so he could go on his honeymoon. Ah its a sad sad time for the female WWF fans!

Don't think Mick showed up anymore...Tonight was a very eventful one. Very stressful day but you don't want to hear about my pity-party so Ta Ta for now folkies!

Notes from me: I wont be onling at all next week due to some family illnesses. I will be back next week though for a weekly recap! Gods Bless! See you soon!!

HEAT Sunday July 30, 2000 :

'Ello! Its me! Well my wonderful fiance set my computer up at my parent's house and we got internet access down here for the week. That way I can still chat with him at nights on the net, still work on my pages AND help out my family too! Cool! Okay so onto the updates!

Mick was on HEAT!?! What a hard working Commissioner he is! His "office" seemed to be set up in some large dark storage room this time. "Mankind" must have picked THAT place out.

When we first see Mick, I think it was the first time anyway, Mick is sitting at his desk. He's exclaiming something about his rulings and then says "Now get out of my office!". Suddenly a knock on the door and Mick calls out "COME IN!" We find out that no one was in his office to begin with...hmmm.

Well the individuals that knocked on the door come in. Its Test and Albert. They go over to Mick and in a surprisingly funny moment, Test; echoed by Albert; asks for a rematch with Rikishi. Test says that after he was given the "stinky-face" by Rikishi that he couldn't get a date for two WHOLE days!! Mick says he doesn't have a whole lot of sympathy since he didn't get a date for 16 years (what kind of stupid women did he hang around with????)!! He grants Test his wish though and all are happy as Mick yells: "Now be gone from my office so that I may rule in peace!"

Later, we find Mick sitting at his desk, a gavel on each side of his head. His eyes are wild and he's whispering something I coudn't understand. He needs to get out of those dark supply closets he calls his office, man.

Chyna walks in and sits down on his desk. He looks up at her with awe and wonderment as she explains how Val Venus should wrestle and put up the Intercontinental belt tonight. She suggests it should be against a former intercontinental champ. Which Mick, of course, replies with "Tito Santana?". Chyna suggests somebody a little bit more feminine. Mick then picks the obvious, Pat Patterson. Chyna then says that that's not right and she's thinking of someone a lot cutier than that! Mick then points at Chyna and guesses SHE is the one that wants to go against Val for the belt. She nods and he says that he says its okay and that his rulings are final! Chyna stands up. Mick stands up. Chyna is all bubbly and bouncy. Mick's all bubbly and bouncy. Chyna says she's going to kick Val's ass. Mick laughs and says he knows she will...Mick goes to hug her...Chyna walks away. *sighs* Poor Mick. He only wanted one little hug! HE'S A GOOD HUGGER, DAMMIT! Thats what he says at least. I don't know....yet!

Viewer's note: Remember! Thursday, MTV Celebrity Death Match! Mick Foley vs Earnest Hemmingway!

Raw is War Monday July 31, 2000 :

Watching 'Rasslin' at my parent's house is quite an experience. It's fun though to explain who the big man in the red mask is to my Mother and warn my father, who's having dinner, to turn away as the "Stink Face" is being applied. My father just kinda grinned and shook his head. I watch WCW's Nitro too so it was cute trying to explain to my Mother why Buff brought out his Mom to ring side if that "other guy" is chasing her! My parents are a hoot. AND Mick Foley found another admirer in my Father. He liked the way Mick was taking care of the bad guys!!

Mick did indeed show them a thing or two tonight. Starting the night off was Triple H pouring his heart out to his "wife", Stephanie, in the middle of the ring infront of millions of fans. Springer eat your heart out!

Since Triple H could talk his way out of a homicide, he got back in the good graces of his beloved princess. To add to the sentiment though, Mick comes out at the top of the ramp...sobbing.

A close up on the Hardcore Legend shows that his face is covered in faux tears...even snot (ewwwwwwwww). He says that what just happened in the ring [*sob*] between Triple H and Stephanie [*sob*] was the biggest [*sob*] piece of bull crap he's ever seen!! [*famous fake laughter*]. He then proceeds to remind Stephanie just what went down last Thursday on Smackdown and Mick shows footage of Steph catching Trish bent over infront of Triple H. Steph gets a lil bit ansie but HHH calms her down.

Mick also reveals that he is fining Triple H $5,000 for skipping out of the match Thursday. The Game gets really ticked about that but nothing like when he finds out that Mick is putting them in a "first ever husband and wife tag team match" against Lita and the Rock. Nope that didn't settle well at all with the former McMahon-Helmsley frack-gime leaders (sorry but thats one of my fave Edge and Christian words)!

Later Mick walks in on a little convo Shane'O'Mac is having with his new buddies Big Show, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. Mick informs them that he has booked the Big Show in a match against Kane and Angle and Benoit are to go up against the Dudley Boyz!!

I think somehow Benoit and Angle got the win over the Dudleyz with Shane's help of course. Think Kane won though against the Big Show with a little help from the Dudleyz...but don't quote me on that one.

Since Mick put them in a match together Stephanie thinks her hubby should show her some wrestling moves. He agrees to and shows her some kind of choke hold. She then wants to be shown the move he was teaching Trish the other night. HHH disagrees but to appease Steph he goes onto show her. He almost trips over her though cause she's "so much taller than Trish". Steph takes offense and thinks Triple H doesn't like her looks. He says he loves her and her looks so they go on with the lesson. All goes sour though when Triple H calls his wife Trish instead of Stephanie. You could just hear the collective gasp of every married woman out there and the collective slap to the forehead by every married man. Needless to say, Stephanie leaves the building.

So Hunter Hearst Helmsley goes to have a little conversation with the commish. Mick apologizes for what happened and says he never wanted that to happen. Triple H says its okay and that it isn't Mick's fault. He goes onto say that inlight of the circumstances, the match should be called off tonight. Mick says he can't do that to the crowd out there and at home. The Game says he'll go it alone then (Gods, for a heel he is so valiant...and sexy). Mick says he can't do that to Triple H and says he will think of a new partner for him. Before Triple H can protest, Mick declares: "TRISH STRATUS!" oh woa is our little heel.

The Game tries his best to keep a good distance from Trish incase his wife shows up or is watching (NOW he thinks of this???). In the ring, though, HHH works hard to keep his booty covered. Trish ends up knocked out and flat on her back after recieving the brunt of Lita's moonsault. Triple H comes in after the three count and stares down at Trish's unconcious body in anger and disbelief. The Rock happily comes by though and wacks The Game on the back of the head and down goes HHH...ontop of Trish...in a 69 position....oh to be Trish...um...I mean poor Stephanie...*ahem*. Anyhoo bet Mick was loving that backstage in his little office....in the shower stalls tonight.

Updates I missed...cause I suck...well you know what I mean...

Well I missed alot now didn't I? Well I'm sorry (to those handful of you that actually might read this page from time to time). Due to exhaustion, my computer being down for a week and going camping I didn't get a chance to update my little pages. I will attempt to do a brief overview of what I watched, was told and what I read. So here goes..well something!

When last we visited that wonderous land called the World Wrestling Federation, we were treated with love spats, blood shed, jealousy and spouses called by the wrong name. Just another day in the ever going saga of ...[*echo-ie voice-over*] As The Ring Turns!

As we left our Hardcore legend, he was happily making tagteam matches left and right with the help of his trusty gables and causing great turmoil among the locker room. He had Edge and Christian shaking in their ring boots with fear and frustration and had Triple H, Kurt Angle and Benoit shaking from sheer anger. All the while our fearless leader smiles happily inspite of all the upheavel among the heelish folk. I'll begin this little update with Raw is War August 7, 2000.

Making his home-away-from-home in a forklift this week, the Commish is sought down by Angle. Angle states his opinion that he should be the number one contender for the Heavy Weight Belt. Triple H also states his own case that he infact should be the number one contender for the belt. Foley later declares that they shall go against each other that very night in the middle of the Madison Square Garden ring to see who will be the number one contender. Jericho is added to the card later and in a confusing as hell ending, both Angle and The Game win the match.

Well I made it through that one anyway. On we go to SmackDown August 10, 2000. (Quick note here: Happy Birthday Robert!! And to Jay too!!) Mick is out first, much to my delight and dismay (since we kind of turned it on late since we were watching a Summer Slam from 1995!!). After a few regular interuptions from various whiney characters, Mick makes the announcment that he has decided that both Angle and Triple H will go up against The Rock at Summer Slam for the belt. Sometime later Jericho finds Mick in his 16-wheeler truck bed office. Jericho takes Mick's shovel and proceeds to trash poor Mick's office (another cactus plant bites the dust) while screaming his demands to have Benoit that very night. Mick explains he just can't do that since Jericho is to go up against Benoit at Summer Slam! Silly children never listen.

Apparently Mick didn't show up on this past Heat so I won't go into recapping that show. All we look for here is Mick, Mick and MORE Mick! Muhahahahaha!

Raw is War August 15, 2000 :

Whoo Hoo! I'm current! It's almost 2am right now and my brain is screaming "Put a load of laundry in and go to bed, damn it!" but I will persivere(sp!!) and update till I stop making sense...which won't take long mind you.

They're already back in Long Island?? Weren't they there a few weeks ago? And it takes them six freakin months to return to my town!! SHEESH! Mick must have gotten home sick quick and talked the office into going back there. Ah well. They'll be here soon and I plan on sitting in the front row to collect all the sweat thrown my way that I can! Maybe even get one of those quick handshakes Mick gives after he leaves the ring!! Oh personal hygene would fly out the door, cause I wouldn't wash my hands for weeks!! Now isn't that a lovely thought!

On we go to the show! Had a ton 'o' people in the house tonight and I didn't take advantage of my VCR so I'm playing it by ear here people. Alls I can remember is the usual group of whiney heelish folk standing in the ring complaining when "Wreck" hits the sound system and Foley appears making his way to the ring. My friend pointed out he has a nice new neon beaded necklace on tonight which his little girl Noelle probably made for him...making up for the fact she chopped his hair off while he was sleeping!! (Now I usually don't mention Mick's family...simply for the fact I try to stay in my own little dream world and pretend he doesn't have an ex-model for a wife!! That way I can keep thinking that maybe I'll get a chance at him sometime...and yes my wonderful fiance knows about my crush on the sexy big guy). Mick's hair is starting to grow out again. He's got a nice little wave of hair up top now and its growing around his neck a little. Woo Hoo!!

Okay so anyway, Mick announces a match where Triple H and Angle will go up against the Dudly Boyz (yea baby!) and The Rock....handicap match?? Think again! Caffiene-lovin Shane'O'Mac will be the third man on the heel side. Did I see Shane shed a tear?? Ah well, Mick makes the stipulation that if either Angle or The Game walk out on the match they will forfeit their chance to be in the match with The Rock at the P.P.V!

Edge and Christian can't seem to get enough of Mick's attention so they complain about being treated unfairly so Mick comes out to appease them and tells them that they will be in a TLC match at Summer Slam (tables, ladders and chairs match). Mick then starts a chant with the crowd of "Tables and Ladders and Chairs, oh my!" He is so darn cute!

Well I guess thats about it for now...we'll see what Mick has up his sleeves on SmackDown. On a slightly different note, though, we watched an episode of Howard Stern's show tonight. I think it was a re-run or something. Who knows. They tape those shows but wont air them until months afterwards! Mick's book had just come out and he was also plugging "Beyond the Mat" AND he had his long lovely hair then too! I was lovin it! It was a little eerie though watching "elephant-boy" drool all over my guy. Ewwwwwww! Mick was very cool about it, though, and Howard was actually very nice to Mick so it was a good show. I did take advantage of my VCR at that point, damn it! So thats it for now folks...I'm gonna go do that laundry now.

Smackdown August 17, 2000 :

Well its cold outside, but my fiance has decided to keep the airconditioner going...I was out numbered tonight by the hot-blooded individuals in the house! Damn the democracy! So I'm going to attempt to type with my sweatshirt sleeves over my hands...and a waaaay we go!

Mick must have felt the cold too and was stricken by his everlasting Christmas fever! He decided to share this warm fuzzy feeling tonight with members of the Faction. With a little "Christmas video card", he reminded the united group that Kurt Angle had indeed stole a little smooch on the cheek from Stephanie. This, of course, threw the group (Angle, Steph, Triple H and Shane) into a tizzy. Mick then announces that the Faction themselves will decide just who will go against The Rock! Then Mick makes a disturbing reference to the "Survivor" Tv show!! "Throw one of the family members off the island" or something just as bizzarre...just shows that Mick spends his free time viewing the tellie too much!

After a brutal hit to the head by a glass water pitcher ala Trish, Chyna finds Mick at his Commissionary desk under the bleachers. Chyna demands a match with Trish tonight BUT being the good little Commish that he is, Mick declares that he will not book the match tonight. Instead he will book it for the Summer Slam pay per view! Chyna and Eddie vs Trish and Val Venus! Ooooh to see Chyna use Trish as a dustbuster on the ring floor...and the outside floor for that matter! Chyna, you go on with your bad self, honey!

Well the Faction decided FINALLY that it is to be Triple H going against The Rock! After HHH and the rest of the "family" get to the ring, Mick makes his way out to add a little bit of info he forgot to say earlier! He informs Stephanie and Shane that since they were so willing to get in the ring tonight (both volunteered to take on The Rock themselves!!!) that he was going to give them both a title match on Monday's Raw is War! Stephanie is to defend her Women's Champion belt against Lita...since, in Mick's poetic words, she has the Ovariological fortitude to do it (sound it out folks...it was hard enough to spell it!)!! Shane will go against Steve Blackman for the Hardcore Title! He then announces it is to be a non-McMahon match and he escorts Shane, Steph and Kurt out of the ring! Subsequently Triple H wins over the Rock, via a few chair-shots by a NON-McMahon...Kurt Angle! Mick's going to have to watch his words around the meanie McMahon-Helmsley Faction!

Raw is War August 21, 2000 :

Reality reared its ugly head again and I was FORCED to pay attention to it, thus the delay for this update! Ah well a good night of wrestling should cure that and a little update to boot! Mick was a busy busy commish Monday night. After The Rock did his little shpeel about a boot, jumbalia, gumbo, hot sauce and Tiple H and Kurt Angle's asses... Mick joined him in the ring. Mick went for his infamous cheap-pop (crowd cheer) by saying something about Lousiana but the sheep turned on him a little when their hero, The Rock, was told that he was to have the night off!! Angle and Caffiene-lovin Shane McMahon makes an appearance at the top of the ramp to dog The Rock and to introduce Triple H (of course Stephanie just HAD to come out there too). Mick informs Angle and Hunter that he is putting them into a ....say it with me kids(!)...A TAG TEAM MATCH with the Acolytes!! He then reminds Shane of his Hardcore title match against the chump...I mean champ, Steve Blackman. Steph is also dutifully reminded that she is to defend her Women's title against Lita that night AND announces that a very special ref with be in the ring too...every woman's dream...EARL HEBNER! Just kiddin. Its The Rock!! Now for the results.... While the new buddies, H and Angle, take on the old buddies, Bradshaw and Farooq, The Rock is watching backstage on a monitor. My friends yelled that Mick was there too but I missed that snippet. H and Angle sadly win. We do get treated to an old fashion ass-woopin brought to you by the Acolytes which is administered on poor lil Kurt Angle (*sarcasm there people, sarcasm*). Triple H does make one attempt to help his new found friend but tucks tail and heads back to the locker-room.

Shane, in what I have to admit is a work of genious, sends Pete and Rodney of the Mean Street Posse after Blackman but Blackman is not detered...later we see Test and Albert escort Blackman to the ring with a little help from any object that just happens to be setting nearby. Next in for the fun is Edge and Christian!! They give Blackman a test of their own stuff and in the midst of the melee, Caffiene-lovin Shane'O slides quickly into the ring and pins an unconsious Blackman for the win!!

Lita is in the ring by her lonesome listening to the sounds of men of all ages chanting her name. Actually I have to admit I heard girls too which is cool cause I think Lita is a good female role model! Anyway, Steph comes to the ring with Triple H and Kurt. Then the Rock comes out, "Just Bring It" t-shirt in lieu of a ref shirt. Still looks nice, I have to admit. I was somewhat surprised by some of Steph's moves. They weren't half bad! Lita, of course, still wiped the ring mat with her but it was a very good effort on Steph's part non-the-less! H and Angle try to aid their precious lil Steph but the Hardy Boyz came to Lita's rescue at last. When Kurt and Hunter tried to join them in the ring, all hell broke lose and The Rock went into action spine-busting everbody! Including the women's champ! He then points Lita to the nearest turnbuckle. Lita does her nice lil moonsault and gets the pin!!!!!!!! The Hardy Boyz carry Lita off as they and the crowd rejoice!!

Earlier that night Chyna and Eddie DEMAND a match with Trish and Val Venus again. Mick says no-can-do but he WILL make the match at Summer Slam an Intercontinental title match (since Val has the belt)...meaning that Eddie OR Chyna could become the new intercontinental champ!! (Go Chyna! Go Chyna!...sorry I like Eddie but Chyna is da bomb folks!)

Also that night Mick does a run-in!! Well sorta....he thankfully interupts Steven Richards from speaking and more importantly...smiling even further! Mick is very upset cause all of Steven's talk has turned his stomach and he couldn't finish is fine Cajun cuisine...don't ask me what it was...I can't remember it...sorry! Mick then goes into a familiar monologue with a twist by telling the crowd to chant with him "Shrimpin aint easy!" He's so witty! The Commissioner also declares that Right To Cancel (Steven, Goodfather (formerly known as GodFather) and Bull Buchanon) will take on Too Cool and Rikishi at Summer Slam!! Yep! Steven and that bad-sadistic smile (as opposed to the good-sadistic smile Al Snow wears from time to time) of his will be in the match too! Try spoiling Mick's dinner again, boys!

Smackdown August 24, 2000 :

In my weary comatose-like state ("Is it the weekend yet?") I was proud of myself for actually catching the show Thursday! It was quite the show with Mick getting a little nastalgic.

Mick comes out in his famous homemade referee shirt, Manking shirt underneath. He said it reminded him of what a good ref should be...something like that. He also says that he really does want Steph to like him...eventhough he knows she's upset about the match on monday that caused her to lose her belt. In an effort to win her favor, Mick displays a few of his own gold medals! Thats right! The Hardcore legend recieved a medal from camp and another prestigious one from a pie eating contest a few years ago! Now to me thats pretty darn impressive! Steph is pretty happy though when Mick tells her she can have a rematch with Lita BUT its going to be Lita and Rock against Steph and...whoever she picks among Triple H or Kurt Angle.

Results - In a coin toss Steph picks Angle. In the ring The Rock slings the olympic hero into his bestest friend, Steph and knocks her off the ring apron and her head meets up with the steal steps before landing on the floor. Triple H runs out, scoops her up and carries her backstage to medics. He then goes back out to help Angle. Triple H ends up getting beaten up by The Rock, the Hardy Boyz and Lita! Angle did try returning to the ring after being tossed out but The Rock frightened him away. So what does Angle do? He goes backstage, kicks the medics out of Steph's room, bends down, apologizes profusely, hugs her, says he cares about her more than she knows then .....kisses her!!!! Now damn it, Kurt grates on my last nerve with that "Its true, its true" crap, but DAMN it looks like the boy can KISS! *shew*

Midway through the show Mick pops up in the Smackdown your vote ad campain, urging the youth of America to register to vote for the presidential election. Isn't that cute? Only in America could a barbed-wire lovin big guy coherse youngins to decide their government's fate! Ah I love this country!

While Shane McMahon laughs it up with his ol' buddies, Edge and Christian, Mick shows up to announce that Shane will be facing Blackman at Summer Slam in a Hardcore title rematch! Shane's quick thinking kicks in and he yells for Edge or Christian to cover him and get the belt away from him! Edge and Christian play rock/scissors to decide but Mick tells them both to cover Shane and since he's a WWF official he'll do the count! The blonde ones agree and all fall to the ground, but before he gets to three, Mick confesses that he never was keen on the 24/7 rule and he was puttin a hold on it until after Summer Slam. Oh so sorry Shane...*chuckle*

Later Shane'O watches in the back as Steve Blackman and Chyna with Eddie vs Val Venus with T&A. Mick joins up with Shane and tells him that if he interferes in any matches that night that he'll have to defend the belt that night! Perhaps Mick sees Shane as that little brother he never had...someone to torture day after day!

Viewers note - Watch MTV this weekend! They are running a Countdown to Summer Slam special! Mick appears to introduce some old MTV clips of Kurt Angle and Buh Buh Ray...along with some Al Snow jokes *shakes head* Mick's such a baaaad boy!

HEAT Sunday August 27, 2000 :

Does anybody ever watch a full hour of HEAT on a pay-per-view night???? Well I try my darndest but usually flip over to the pay-per-view after ordering it. Ah well, I did catch one snippet of Lillian Garcia asking Mick about the Hardcore title match. Mick has set up his office behind a Hockey Goalie's net and is playing a little hockey as she shows up. Mick starts out with his response calmly then goes into Cactus Jack mode and shouts about how he and Al Snow (oh my Gods he's said something positive about Al!) and Roaddogg made that title respectable (Mick was THE first WWF Hardcore champ!) when it was suppose to be just a joke. Then he goes onto say how well Blackman defended it (BLAH..sorry Mick, honey, but I'm no Evil Blackman fan!). It was oh so very nice to see Cactus Jack appear though! :)

On a more...jealous note though...as Lillian was about to leave, he whispered for her to come closer to him and then said: "Wanna puck?" .......then held up a hockey puck in his hands. OH TO BE LILLIAN!!

Summer Slam August 27, 2000 :

Quick note: Big Birthday hugs goes out to that sissy o' mine, Bethiah! Hope you had a great birthday babe!

Sadly Mick only makes one brief appearance tonight on the pay-per-view. After "Bump-Boy" Shane McMahon takes a 50 foot (Jim Ross' estimation, not mine) off the scaffolding, his sister Stephanie is consumed with fear! Enters her knight-in-shining-leotard, Kurt Angle! He conforts her with a big ol' hug as she weeps and sobs and snots into his shoulder (descriptive, aren't I?). Mick walks in to find the pair in each other's arms and says he hopes he's not interupting anything. Steph declares that he isn't and demands to know something about her brother's physical well being. Mick says thats why he came in and that it looks like Shane took a big hit to his "kisser" and that they should go see about him. Steph immediately agrees and follows Foley out the door, leaving a frustrated Angle behind.

Smackdown August 31, 2000 :

Good ol' UPN would never screw with Smackdown's time! They're too afraid to since they switched it to 8pm! Thats good though. Don't bite off the hand that feeds ya, eh?

Okay we first see Mick Foley on this episode of Smackdown when Chyna and Eddie seek him out. Since Chyna entered the ring to kick some Angle-booty and it was turned around on her with Angle kickin some Chyna-booty then Chyna wants revenge.

They go to a door marked "Commissioner" and open it up. There, in what turns out to be a tiny closet, Mick is sitting three inches away from the door playing darts! Visual humor, folks. Foley is the master at it! Chyna, undaunted, goes right into a demand to meet Angle in the ring tonight! Mick says he wants to punish Angle for his actions (on Monday Angle hit Eddie and Triple H both with a chair.). Mick also smoothly adds that he doesn't think Angle is good enough to be in the ring with Chyna (what a silvery tongue *sigh*). Chyna blushes but Eddie goes into his demand to have Angle in the ring tonight! Mick explains that Triple H has already asked to meet Angle tonight and that he can't just go around making Triple Threat Matches...but wait! He can! He's the commish! He has the gabbels! So he deems it so, all is happy and Mick waves bye bye.

Several segments later, UPN is taken over by CNN...no wait...its a story ABOUT WWF on CNN being shown on UPN! Ooooooooooooh! Okay!

Mick, Chyna, Lita and Kurt Angle along with Linda McMahon hold a press conference to (as Mick puts it) "Issue the smackdown challenge". A debate (or maybe an arm wrestling event) moderated by none other than Jesse Ventura! A few stipulations have to be met though, which Mick points out one:

"We do ask that Al Gore keep his displays of public affection (pictures Al kissing a surprised and apparently loved-starved Tipper!) down to a minimum!" (Everyone gets a good giggle and Mick smiles and blushes. HOW CUTE IS THAT!?!? Tee Hee)

Apparently (as CNN showing on UPN reports) Gore's people haven't answered BUT Bush's says he'll consider it and "always likes getting in the ring with Gore". Oh ha ha...ahem.

A few segments after Triple H throws a hissy-fit, the local Fayetteville police show up after recieving a call about spousal abuse!! Steph adamently denies that she made the call BUT the police don't believe her I guess and the continue to take a miffed Triple H out of the building. As their taking him out Mick shows up out of nowhere to witness the occurance. The Police tell Mick that their taking Triple H "downtown" because of an investigation.

Mick: So its not an arrest? But he's going downtown! So is Steph going? What about her?

Steph: (in the background as the police take Triple H to the car) Can you believe this Mick? (she says some more but couldn't make it out.)

Mick: Steph! What are we gonna do about a main event? What about our main event?

Steph: That your problem!

Mick: I know! I can do a one on one match up! But wait wait wait! Eddie's going to have Chyna on his corner...Kurt can't just... no no. Kurt wont go it alone. (pointing to Steph) You're gonna be in his corner... You're gonna be in his corner cause Kurt needs you!

Steph: No! Hunter!

Now it may appear that Mick was being a little...unsensitive. Mick is the commissioner though and he needed to remember the show goes on so he was only thinking of what was best for the company! See! There is method to the Commish's madness...and its so lovely too! *sigh*

Raw is War August 4, 2000 :

Well it was quite the episode of [*echo-ie voice*] As the squared circle turns! When last we saw our prime villian, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, he was being carted away "downtown" to the police station because somebody called in a report of spousal abuse! First out tonight is Triple H and his wife, Stephanie. Triple H demands that whomever made said phone call, come out and confess! "Wreck" hits the sound system and Mick makes his way to the ring. Mick decides that the "game is afoot" and in brilliant Holmsian style, proceeds to solve the case....

Mick starts off the investigation by blaming Stephanie for making the call! The first obvious choice. Steph denies the charges ademently! Mick then goes to Triple H, and in a controversial move, blames The Game for calling the police on himself! Saying that he did it just to gain the affections of his wife away from her "friend" Angle! Triple H denies this by stating he hit Mick too many times in the head! Triple H then turns it around and blames Mick for the call saying that Mick did it for the ratings!! Mick says he wouldn't do a thing like that and inturn calls out the next most obvious suspect! Kurt Angle!

Kurt Angle comes out with his music and stops just short of the ring. Angle denies the charges of course and blames the whole mess on Chyna! Stating Chyna still has feelings for her former beau, HHH, and SHE made the call! "Treat me like a woman" hits the speakers and The Ninth Wonder comes out to deny everthing as well! Says she is with Eddie and her and Triple H are long over with! Mick states thats a good point and calls out Latino Heat!

Eddie comes out and ....DENIES the charges with a "whatchu talkin bout essa?"! So Mick admits he is only one man and can't decide alone...so he asks the audience to vote who THEY think is guilty. Mick starts off with Stephanie then Triple H...both are cleared according to the crowd. Mick points to himself. They crowd STRONGLY disagrees with that! So Mick slides outta the ring and runs up the ramp and asks if its Chyna..while almost cupping her...endowments...she takes his hand and raises it up over her head like he did the others...the crowd clears her and Eddie as well! So onto the last suspect...

Before the crowd decides, Kurt announces that he would like everyone to have a happy Labor Day..which is quickly interupted by Triple H telling him to stop kissing ass. Mick places his hand over Kurt's head and the crowd goes insane! Mick informs Kurt that he needs to escort him to the back so he can talk to the proper authorities. Just then though...Trish Stratus music plays?!?!?

Trish comes out with ...TEST!! Test says that he has a confession to make...that HE made the phone call to the police!!! It was out of revenge since Triple H stole Stephanie from him last November! HE was suppose to marry Steph ...but Triple H beat him to the punch! Ooooooooooh!! Mick says there is only ONE thing to do! So he calls for a one on one match between Test and the WWF champion..Triple H...??? Okay so Mick makes one faus pau! Give him a break!!

Well a brawl insues after Test declares that pay back and Stephanie have something in common...they're both a bitch! Everyone goes at each other and Mick along with security tries to break it up. "Wreck" gets played again and we're off to a commercial

Results - Triple H wipes the floor with Test's butt BUT Test does give him a run for his money! I really hope they keep that feud goin!

Coming off of a commericial (probably Chyna hocking Stacker 2!) we see a picture of Al Snow and HEAD set up promenently on some sort of board. We then see a dart hit Al's face and the camera swings over to Mick standing at his office desk. This week his desk is set up in the middle of a large empty room and his desk looks like something out of the Peanuts! You know, the stand Lucy used to dole out lemonaid/advice?? Yep thats the one! Anyhoo Eddie runs up to Micks stand/desk and demands to be able to help Chyna in the ring tonight against Angle. Mick makes the match a Triple Threat and sends Eddie on his way saying he's "got a long way to go and a short time to get there". Now Mick needs to get out more and come see me if he's gonna start in with Smokey and The Bandit references!

Later that night we are taken to the locker rooms where Mideon is sitting, wearing a baseball cap, glasses...and nothing else. Mick walks in carefully and begins to tell Mideon that he has to stop streaking in the middle of matches. That he's been getting complaints. Well the happy-go-lucky nudist sadly agrees and gets up to walk off...mooning a frightened Mick in the process. In his fright, Mick drops his clipboard, which Mideon politely picks up and gives to him. Awww.

Fast forward to a few segments later [insert Wayne and Garth wiggly fingers here] we find Edge and Christian in their overly large locker room. They are scheming on what to do to get out of their match with the Undertaker and THE Rock. They decide upon the colorful yet dibilitating genital warts! Mick enters to wish them luck in their match and informs them that if they should decide to come down with any illnesses...such as genital warts, they would be stripped of their belts and suspended indefinitely! As Mick is leaving he adds that genital warts is indeed not cool and can be quite painful...or so he's been told.

Edge and Christian get their booties demolished, Taker and THE Rock dominate the match BUT Chris Benoit decides to join the brawl ...which inturn jump starts the guest commentator, KANE (???) to throw off the headset and give a beatin' to his big bro Taker. In the midst of the caos, Christian pins THE Rock for the win! Tweedle-dee and Tweedl-dum gets lucky again! And so would Kane if he ever came to Columbus and met up with my sissy Bethiah...oh how she does love dat man! *grins*

Later on Mick is busy with his peculiar game of darts. Meanwhile Tazz comes running in yelling Mick's name. When he finally reaches Mick's stand/desk, Mick turns to tell him "oh I didn't hear you come in!" Tazz ignores him and screams his demands to have Jerry Lawler and Chris Jericho tonight! Mick tells him that he will give him both in one match tonight and ALSO give him a surprise "multiple title winner" tag team partner! Tazz walks away happy...or as happy as the little orange munchkin can get!

Results - Tazz is whoopin up on Lawler and Y2J when suddenly a familiar music starts to play...Hulk Hogan??? Nope...its none other than a scantly clad (but clad!) Mideon! He comes strutting to the ring Hulkster style and jumps up onto the ring apron. A befuddled Tazz looks on in confusion. "King" Lawler takes advantage and rolls Tazz up for the three count. Mideon vanishes, Lawler and Jericho laugh their way up the ramp and Tazz is left standing brooding in his little orange and black trunks.

Smackdown September 7, 2000 :

What the heck is up with WWF anyway?!? Mick shows up a hundred time on Raw this week but only once tonight! Barely a showing of Mick? No Al? No others I'm remotely attracted to?? Well there was The Game and The Acolytes, and The Undertaker...but STILL! Sheesh!

The ONE time Mick does appear is to lend an ear to a disgruntled Kurt Angle. Kurt started in on how unfair it was that he was put into a match on Monday with Chyna AND Eddie. Something about being caught under Chyna (which my fiance would love) and taking on Eddie. Mick then proclaims that not only does he write books, he reads them as well! A confused Angle (is there any other?) asks what type of books and Mick replies that he is currently reading one about subliminal body language and that he can tell by what Kurt said, what exactly Kurt is actually asking for. Seeing as how he mentioned being under Chyna and taking on Eddie...Kurt clearly wants to be in a match with the Undertaker tonight! Kurt firmly denies this but Mick says its "final!" and bangs his gable! Kurt walks away mumbling that he lied about liking Mick's beads and Mick comes back with a "JERK!". Camera fades.

Tsk tsk, WWF....you need the Commish on EVERY show...well except when he's near Columbus...then you can give him a break to see me!!

Viewers note: (September 10, 2000) Watch the many repeated showings of the Music Video Awards on MTV. You just might see the Commish make a little appearance.

Raw is War September 11, 2000 :

Okay I'll admit it. I didn't catch the beginning of Raw. As I've mentioned before, I watch all the wrestling shows. I started out with NWA back when Ric Flair was da man and Tommy "Wildfire" Rich was a hotty! Then I "out-grew" wrestling. Many years later, my fiance, OmegaAlpha (aka OA), introduced me to WCW about three years ago and I've been hooked on wrestling ever since. I love WCW. I know they aren't having the best of luck right now and it seems pretty cheesy sometimes, but I stick by the WCW wrestlers. I have no respect for fair-weather fans. So I got stuck when "Hacksaw" Jim Duggin came out to the ring with his 2x4 and his flag and announced his retirement. If this is true, Gods bless you Jim. You are an inspiration to everyone everywhere. You battled cancer like many of your other opponents and we all prayed with you that you would win...and you did. You make those of us state side proud to be Americans...something very hard to do now days. Best of luck to you and your family in the future. We love you Jim!

Okay now with that said...on to Raw. When we did finally turn over to USA Network, Mick was out in the ring talking about how "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is determined to find the culprit that ran him over late last year. Mick says that HE will conduct his OWN criminal investigation. He asks for the guilty party to come out and fess up...

"Can Ya Smell..." blasts through the speakers and THE Rock makes his way to the ring. Mick looks on in disbelief (good acting!). After THE Rock soaks up all the adulation from the sheep..um crowd (and we know why he does it, don't we Bethiah?), Mick starts ripping into him!!! But before the commish can begin calling him a few choice names, THE Rock's hand flies up to quiet him. After the sheep...um crowd finishes their orgasm...um chant. Rocky places mic to mouth and says "THE Rock confesses..."!! Then he goes onto say he confesses that this is the biggest half assed criminal investigation!! Grrr. Says he gave the people his word he didn't do it. He gave Austin his word that he didn't do it and to back it up he steals a catch-phrase (like he doesn't have enough of his own!) by giving everyone a "OH HELL NO!". Rocky then starts in about how it doesn't matter if Austin dropped the charges, it doesn't matter if Commissioner Foley's pants get dropped in the middle of the ring...Woo Hoo! Mick says by the look of the first three rows it indeed does matter if his pants get dropped! Oh to be in the first three rows...soon...very soon...Muahahahaha!!

Ahem...anyhooo...Rocky asks if Mick is his mommy...huh? Then exclaims he's more than a little upset with Kane for chokeslamming him through the announcer table last week. THE Rock goes into a tirade at this point about Kane when he was little and how other kids would ask Kane to play and Kane would reply with (Rocky goes into his hellium-induced voice here) "I would love to play with you but the rage of fire is consuming my soul!" (paraphrased). Then he says something about Kane's big red candy ass and that he wants the Big Red Machine at Unforgiven pay-per-view (we know the real reason he wants to fight Kane, don't we Bethiah??)!

Enters Chris Benoit! He comes down to ringside while letting Mick know that he knows Mick isn't stupid enough to put Kane and THE Rock in a match at the PPV. Benoit reminds that he should be the number one contender since HE is, after all, THE best wrestler in the industry today! PYROS pop and the Big Red Machine enters.

Kane STRIDES as only he can down the ramp to stand beside Benoit. He's not allowed to speak cause Kid Rock instantly starts a wailin' and the American Bad Ass enters at the top of the ramp (to a crowd pop, dare I say, just as big as THE Rock's??)! He says that with all this talk about the #1 contendership, they better not forget "the old dead man". He throws down the mic and EVERYONE goes after EVERYONE! They all finally make it into the ring, Rock on Benoit and Kane on Undertaker. Mick tries his best to calm the situation but when Undertaker ducks Kane's fist, it connects with Mick and Mick goes rolling out of the ring onto the floor!! Bethiah you better have a talk with your boy! Sgt Slaughter and is group of merry refs comes out to break the malee. Mick looks on disheartened. The cameras take a cue and go to break too!

Back from break we get a replay of Mick getting hit...its okie baby...I'll kiss it and make it better..hee...oh come on! Gimme a break! Its my page!

We slide backstage to Grandmaster-geek, Michael Cole. He is standing with Mick who is rubbing his jaw..awww! Mick says he's had a helluva lot more done to him and that he'll be okay. He's so tuff! He goes onto say that he will decide by the end of the night who the #1 contender will be! ALSO there will be a Fatal Four Way between all those involved tonight! And thats final! Mick has a new catch phrase!!!

Random Thoughts: I love all the tag teams but we need a new one to spice things up! Buh Buh is going to bust a gut trying to scream over the crowd when it comes time for the "wood". 3-D is the most awsome move in the industry today!! Chyna sure can hock that STACKER 2! I'm SO glad they're letting Lita actually defend the Women's Champion Belt. MIDEON!!! OH GODS!!! What are you doing?!?!? You and Mick had a talk! Mideon,, honey...save it for a private moment! *sighs*. Lita's Moonsault is so nice...well...not tonight...OUCH! (I did find out later that Ivory did get her arm up so she's okay!).

Kurt angle finds Mick at his desk (is that red pepper party lights hanging there?). He expresses concern for Mick after he took the tumble. Mick says that he appreciates Kurt's insencerity but he thinks he's doing a lot better than Kurt after Kurt got beatin to a pulp by Triple H last week! Kurt responds by saying he wants to do something that HHH couldn't do last week and thats beat T&A. He wants his own handicap match with them! Mick: T as in Taker? Kurt: No! Test! Mick: A as in Austin? Kurt: No not Austin! Albert! Which I had nothing to do with Austin's untimely demise, just so you know (he aint dead iggy!). Kurt also says that he doesn't think its fair that Triple H isn't in a match tonight (cry baby!). So Mick strikes a deal. He'll book The Game in a match with a suitable opponent if Kurt will stop talking! Kurt says he'll do it. Mick: You're not stopping! Kurt: All right I'll... Mick: Stop! Okay lets get out of here! [Beep Beep] We've got work to do! Gain way! Hardcore legend coming through! (JR: Traveling commissioner's desk, whats next??) Mick with desk rolls backwards as a driver tows him away on a forklift!! Mick: And you! Stop talking! Kurt makes the button lip motion as he fades away. Random Thoughts #2: Eddie is a meanie! Chyna's going to lose her friends! Eddie must not be a "smart mark"! He could have read that Chyna was going to be in Playboy MONTHS ago! JR even talks about it in his column on WWF.com for crying out loud! "stop the presses baby!" that was cute. What is up with X-pac?? He got 'TUDE now! Triple H...mmmm. Steph is a dumb-ass. I'm sorry. HHH told her to stay in the back...she aint know Chyna...she couldn't beat up Harvey Wippleman!! I think Brittany Spears is hot for THE Rock! Val's turn is so sad...predictable...but sad. Where have all the jiggilo's gone? Acolytes...mmmm. Al Snow CRAWLS...oh we wont go into that imagery! I like the manly-Lawler role. Better than his little-girl-screaming role. People VOTE! Y2J is a cutie in his tattered island clothes. Steph is a dumbass! Sorry had to say that again. HHH should've let Test powerbomb her! WELL since Shane is out guess Steph is playing the role of "Bump-Girl" in his place! My guy, OA, pointed out that Triple H used Kurt's "package" as a grip to help him up after he "accidently" falls on Steph!! Ooooers! Could it be some Freudian thing that Steph's men beat the crap out of her tonight??

After Steph takes some impressive bumps, a commercial break, and replays of Steph's impressive bumps Mick storms in to the McMahon/Helmsly locker room. Steph is laying on the couch as her hubby attends to her. Mick rips into The Game and tells him this feud with Angle has gotten out of hand. He's booking a one on one match for Unforgiven between Triple H and Angle. AND to make sure they equally beat the crap out of each other, Mick says HE will referee the match!!! Woo Hoo! Triple H agrees to the match.

Random Thoughts #3: X-pac MUST be feuding with Jericho...right?? WWF decides to shoot the dice and give a promo to their two most uncomfortable talkers! Benoit has a heart to heart with Kane backstage. Benoit elaborates on THE Rock's view of Kane's childhood and talks about how Kane was always over looked and probably was picked last in kick-ball...I didn't know they had that in Canada! Anyhoo Benoit says that its up to him and Kane to take down Rocky and Taker. Benoit is about to exit stage (our) left when Kane speaks up: Benoit! I was NEVER picked last! Benoit: What? Kane: In kick-ball! I was NEVER picked last! Ya know...there's a comidian behind that tiny black mask. How cute!!! Did I mention that the Lugz blue guy looks like THE Rock with a goatee...Rocky=anti-christ? Think about it folks. Bill Gates is too obvious!

Final Match! Mick comes out to moonlight as a color commentator. Mick confesses he hasn't made a decision yet and is going to use this final match to scout the #1 contender. Mick and Lawler getting along?? Okay! What did JR do with the REAL Lawler?!? JR declares this match to be a Sobber knocker! Mick seems to really favor Benoit!(?) Why is it that THE Rock will only use the crippler-crossface on Benoit since he seams to love it so much! Benoit should kick his well defined booty! Ahem...anyway. Lawler accuses Mick of being the one that ran over Austin. Mick says that everyone will just have to take his word for it that he didn't do it. Guess that mutual admiration society Lawler and Mick had just crumbled! Mick says he appreciates Benoit's headbutt...betcha Mick did it first in Japan! JR gets so excited in the caos that he shouts Jericho pins Undertaker!! Guess JR thinks all Canadians look alike. Poor JR. Mick decides, as the four men in the ring continue to go at it, that at Unforgiven its going to be a Fatal Four Way for the Champion belt! The caos slowly breaks up as the crowd pops for THE Rock...or was it the Undertaker...I don't think they even know. Rock soaks up the adulation anyhow and steps on Kane (did you notice that Bethiah? Makes ya think, huh?). Mick is a good commentator...hell he's good at everything! Well some things I don't know about...yet. The camera fades and so shall I for now. Night folks...the updates over...Thank the Gods!!

Smackdown September, 14, 2000

I've been sick with this cold thing. A side effect to this cold is a sudden affection for the couch. So I spent my evenings after being away from my couch all day at work, spending time with it. I've torn myself away from it, though, long enough to do some updates. Its okay couch! I'll be right back! On with the updates!

Mick comes out first to the “Foley” chant! Mick says he is the top dog and really doesn’t have to answer to anyone but the fans. Mick says that includes the fans in Pheonix AZ! Master of the cheap pop! Mick begins to unfold his plan on how he is going to keep all the big players from killin’ each other before the pay-per-view. BUT he gets interupted. Now what is it with these people thinking they can push the commissioner around?? Anyway out come THE Rock.

Rocky soaks up all that adulation and camera time (he’s like a little lost puppy, Bethiah!). Since we are in Pheonix for the second night, Rocky makes up for not saying he has finally come back there. The sheep...um crowd responds with loud gratitude. At least he came out in that muscle shirt. Much better than the shirts he wears that should defy the laws of fashion...but I digress. Rocky goes into his usual tirade and says that he doesn’t give a lobster’s left testicle about Mick’s plan (Lawler and me: “A lobster’s left testicle?!?!”). Mick instructs THE Rock that lobsters do not have testicles. He knows because he’s looked. I’m sure all in the name of Science! Ahem. Mick shows THE Rock footage from Raw. Its when the Undertaker was telling Rocky that he will be there for him when Mick names the #1 contender. Mick mentions after the footage has played that the look on Taker’s face was the same one when he threw Mick off the top of the cage at King of the Ring in June of 1998.

Undertaker is out now and makes his way into the ring as THE Rock paces about. Taker says he’s not the kind of man that can hide his emotions. He’s also not the kind of man that would run over Austin (the crowd orgasm...um screams at the mention of the Rattlesnake’s name). Undertaker goes onto say he is the kind of man that gets what he wants and he wants what THE Rock has....ooooers. OH! The belt. Anyway Mick says that he will get a chance at the belt at the ppv.

Benoit out now to his now popular “Asshole” chant. He says that whatever Mick’s plan is, it sucks. Benoit shows a clip of himself pinning THE Rock on Monday (with Kane’s help that is.). Benoit adds that he is the better wrestler and theres need for a Fatal Four Way at the ppv. He says that none of the men in the ring can prove him wrong either.

Kane is next and with a mic!! He says that he’s not interested in proving Benoit wrong. He is interested in proving everyone thats called him inhuman, freak, and monster...(I believe that was Michael Cole!) right!

Mick interjects and reminds everyone that he just wants to tell everyone his plans!!

BUT before he can get it out, Kurt Angle comes to the ring! On the way there he says that none of this stuff about the Fatal Four Way matters. What does matter is the health of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley!(?) HE has a clip too! He shows when Triple H “accidentally” elbowed Steph.

The Game is out now! He stalks down the ramp, bad mouthing all the way as the crowd cheers him on. Oh I smell that baby face turn coming oh so soon! Triple H in the ring, Kurt out. Mick has to stop HHH from going after Kurt. Mick then starts yelling at everyone (bout damn time!) and announces his plan. He is teaming up everyone tonight. Triple H and Kurt will go up against T&A. Benoit and Kane against the Acolytes. Acolytes rules apply meaning anything can happen. Undertaker and THE Rock team up to take on the Dudley Boyz in a Table Match! If anyone gets physical with their partner (oooers) they are out of their match at the ppv!! And thats final! Kurt adds that he thinks no one should be allowed to have physical contact with their spouses either, as he glares at Triple H. Angle’s music plays. Rock, Benoit and Kane are left in the ring. Benoit and Kane start stomping on THE Rock. With a sigh, Taker gets back in the ring and takes out Benoit. He leaves Kane alone, though, to beat up Rocky. Well he did even up the odds for Rocky! Kane chokeslams Rock and Kane’s music plays as he strides up the ramp.

Quick notes and random thoughts by Jack Handy...I mean me: Back from break we get served with a replay of what took place in the opener. Also we find out that Latino Heat can drive! Ooooh APA. Benoit leaves Kane alone in the ring. Both Acolytes pin him. Kane gets up and stalks Benoit to the back. Oooooers.

Triple H finds Mick in his woodshop/office. He says there is no way that he could possibly get in the ring with Kurt as his partner after what happened to Steph on Monday. Mick tells him that he is sick of Angle too and that he wants Triple H to kick his butt. The match needs to take place at the ppv though. Triple H walks away disgruntled....sexy but disgruntled.

Quick notes and random thoughts 2: Eddie drove his car to the Playboy mansion to stop Chyna’s pics from being published in the mag. Well we get to see Ricky Ricardo possess Eddie and comedy insues. Actually it was pretty cute and I was glad to see that Eddie wasn’t yelling at Chyna. He was yelling at some Indipendent wrestlers posing as Hefner body guards. Speaking of comedy. When Eddie talks about his Mami...body guard #1 replies with “sir, I don't know how old your Mother is but..."! OI! HHH has a blast watching Kurt get beat up by T&A. He shows a pretty smile too! Haven’t seen that from him in awhile. The...um...tags between Triple H and Kurt would make anyone scream mercy! May I say again, Steph is a DUMB ASS! Why does she think she can stop Test??? Now Trish...well she was only doing her job. Triple H doesn’t like Kurt’s considerate friend act and after HHH grabs him and pulls him up on the apron, Kurt begs to be hit. Test comes from behind and slams HHH and pins him to win. Kurt walks away with a smile as DUMB ASS attends to her hubby.

Mick is in his workshop/office wearing a welder’s mask. He’s bent over working on something as Tazz walks in. Mick sees him and flips up the hood on his mask. “Hey Tazz! Has the mood changed yet?”. Tazz isn’t amused. Tazz demands his release from WWF and wants out now! Mick says just a minute and shows Tazz what he’s been working on. One of his children’s books! He shows an illistration of Kane being so scared of the elves that he makes a little “pee pee” on himself! Oh thats cute! Tazz gets angry and demands his release again. Mick says that he’s probably the only one that likes Tazz and that he’ll give him a match with Lawler at the Pay-per-view. Tazz says he’ll only get screwed so Mick says that he’ll make it so that Lawler can’t physical attack him until the ppv and Tazz can’t physically hurt Lawler until then either. Tazz says it sounds fair and starts to go but Mick says “One more thing. (puts hood back down over face.) Tazz...I am your father. “ Tazz busts out laughing then with a sudden serious look Tazz asks “No touching?” Mick agrees and Tazz goes away with a lil orange elven smile.

Edge and Christian are out and right away say they had nothing to do with Austin being hit. Edge even galantly says that if they had a time machine, they would go back in time and stop the car from hitting Austin (why do I picture these two in a phone booth now?). Christian politely reminds his partner that they DO have a time machine! They decide to share with the world The Hardy Boyz of the year 2050. An older and wrinkler set of Hardyz comes out soon followed by a wrinkler Lita.

Mick comes out and says if these were really the Hardyz of the future they would have told Edge and Christian that their match at the ppv is going to be a cage match!! Why do I picture Jeff trying to do the swanton bomb off the top of the cage??? Gods I hope Mick is giving them some ideas of what NOT to do! Mick goes onto say that even though it may mess with the space time continuem, he wants to introduce the Hardyz of the future to the Hardyz of the present. Real Hardyz with Lita run out and proceed to kick some Edge and Christian booty. Quick Random Thoughts: Why put Kevin Kelly in an interview with REAL men?? Why the hell is Xpac so pissed off?? Where did the Hardyz get the name of their moves?? Xpac sign in the audience!! If Lillian likes pie...okay so THE Rock is trying to say she’s gay?? Rocky points out chick gawking at him...trying to make someone jealous...Bethiah??

Quick Random Notes: Final match. Dudlyz out to ring, Undertaker out to ring, THE Rock out to ring. Rocky soaks up da love in da house and does the “Bethiah look at me(!!!)” pose. I can remember when you could actually hear Buh Buh tell Devon to get the table. Dudlyz work REAL well together in this match. Wonderful timing. Taker went through a table!!! DAMN that 3-D is awsome! Even if it was used on Taker tonight. Nice shot of Taker-booty as he’s getting up. Rock goes through a table!!!! Woo Hoo!! Heabner attends his beloved Rocky as the little credits role and we say farewell! Night Gracie!

Heat September 17 2000 :

Might have known the night I DON'T tape Heat, Mick is on it! I did watch it though (from my lovely couch) and this is what I remember.

Mick is on forklift pretending to drive in the Indy 500 it seems. Dean Malenko shows up and Mick comes to a stop long enough for Dean to hop on the forklift. Mick continues to drive. Apparently Dean is unsure about going against his buddy Crash tonight. Mick says it will be good for Dean to mentor Crash and show him what it takes to be in the ring by showing him first hand. After those Commissionary words of wisdom, Mick says its Dean’s stop. Dean gets off of forklift happy. Another Commissionary job well done. Mick just does so well in the "Commissionary position". Oh what images that brings to mind!

Raw is war September 18, 2000

Since I've been sick, I haven't felt like doing much. So OA went to a computer show by himself and when he came back he had proof that I shouldn't let him go alone in the future. I was happy though cause my man bought me a lap top computer! So I wrote out my notes for my updates on it while me and my couch continued to get to know each other. I'm still feeling pretty icky so I'm gonna sort of leave this update in rough draft form. Enjoy!

Steph out first, miss america??? From 45th street maybe! (Dudlyz vs right to censor announced) Steph says she will put an end to something thats been going on for awhile...that men have been vying for her affection all her life. Says that its gone too far. Mentions Austin for some reason, says nothing to do with that....says same month she married HHH. Same month Angle made debut in WWF. SLUT chant starts (in chicogo) Steph asks Mick to come out(!) And cancel match between HHH and Angle at PPV

Foley chant starts!! Steph says she would be a very unhappy woman if match is to happen. Says noone wants to see her unhappy (HA!). Angle comes out. He says that match must happen. He needs to teach HHH a lesson. Says coincedence that he debut on night that Austin got hit. Kurt shows montage of Triple H with Trish, Chyna, and hitting Steph to the game’s music. Triple H comes out now slow and silent to his music. Has sneer. Ooooers. He heard about Kurt’s lil package had Dick Eversol(sp?) make a package of his own. Says might be wrong about Kurt, says that he’s a 30 year old stud says steph "could" be the perfect woman. What kind of man would just want to be friends with a hot woman like Steph (BLAH!). Maybe Kurt is batting on the other side of the plate for us (men) that that would be okay! HHH mentions looks Kurt's been giving him. so who is Kurt trying to get close to here?? Triple H in rare form tonight! Inuendos! Old Triple H is coming back!! He shows clip of Angle at olympics with opponent's head landing in Kurt's crotch! Makes fun of kurt crying on podeum. (Chicago crowd brought their own mics!! damn they loud!) HHH says Kurt should open closet door!

Mick comes out (!) to FOLEY chant!! Mick says he's from family of amateur wrestlers...nobody has more respect for kurt than him.....Mick asks for clip to be shown again. Mick AND HHH fake sob in mock of Angle on the podeum!! Calls for a tissue for Kurt and asks what team he’ll be playing for on this year...Mick gets cheap pop mentioning Chicago!! T&A and Trish vs HHH and Kurt and Steph. Mick says HAVE A NICE DAY and is out. Triple H takes Steph's hand and blows kisses at kurt!!!

Earlier that day, Rtc beats up APA.

Apa and dudleyz beat up RTC after match ends.

Rock comes out and cries (mostly for Bethiah's attention), Undertaker out! yummy! JR or Lawler says Taker is out to get him some.....right here baby!! Undertaker makes crack about Rocky in back seat of car back in high school trying to get "mary jane rottoncrotch" to take her clothes off...Taker was out winning titles! Says who the hell is Rock to call him out! Says Rock never learns, he warned him to not piss him off. Rock can raise eyebrows, mention monkey nipples, fantasize about shoving things up people's asses...Undertaker says he is still down with the devil and will get medieval on his ass!!! Mick out....reminds rules of fatal 4 way...says Rock and Taker will go at it. Benoit out....cries about shot. Kane out. Mick says Rock is capable of electrfying a crowd and making catch phrases he can steal and wearing a shirt like that and getting by with it. Undertaker vs Rock and Kane vs Benoit.

Hefner says that mag will still come out

Chyna asks eddie to stay out of her clevage, Eddie calls Hefner bunny man....Chyna forgives eddie...Eddie says everyone deserves to look at Chyna and enjoy her....he starts coughing when Rickishi is mentioned. Feeling queezy.

Shatner busting a move is just too funny.

Kane and Benoit still fighting....now its a match!

HHH Steph and Kurt wins match...HHH doesn’t like Kurt's way of celebrating by hugging Steph.

Eddie fakes the cold (I'll give him mine!) and Chyna takes his place.

Tazz out with tails on....to be ring announcer......introduces Chyna......Tazz says Rickishi is 6000 pds from waist down....Tazz out to poke fun at Lawler

Eddie out with blanket wrapped around him...Rickishi out of ring to beat up Eddoe....Tazz laffs.....Eddie maces Rikishi...after chyna saves him from stink face...Ricishi does butt drop on chyna...Eddie just begs not to do it...Tazz yells that Rikishi is the winner over and over again into Lawler's ear....then laughs.

Steven Regal in the ring!!!!!!!!!!! Teaching etiquet! Y2J out....damn Steven's got a sexy accent. Jericho gets his own cheap pop. Y2j says Regal needs excitement...goes into magic trick bout to go at Steven when Xpac out without a shirt (hmmm interesting eh hikerbj??) actually good physical and audio candy there.

2cool vs edge and christian...cool! tazz still in Lawler's ear. Tazz escorted out.

Mideon at wwf ny!!!

Mick comes out to talk about smackdown challenge....80,000 registered! If candidates care they will come on smackdown cause wwf fans are heart of america! Well said Mick!

Benoit at announcer table. Undertaker out....Rock out...flinging belt all over the damn place....Austin stepped on belt once...hope Undertaker’s glove was padded there. Heabner is the Rock’s bitch. Undertaker wins!!! Benoit and Kane on Undertaker, Rock is backs up, kicks em out and Rock bottoms Undertaker! We go to credits and I go to bed. Night night!

Smackdown September 21, 2000 :

Mick was out in the ring and EVERYONE was outside the ring. THE Rock comes out to his music down the ramp to ringside. Mick has the mic and says they’re gathered to find out who ran over Stone Cold. Mick says he’s decided to call everyone out and make some predictions...think he meant accusations...I don’t know. The first person he accuses is his former tag-team partner, THE Rock. (King: was the rock’s rental car). Mick says out of respect for their relationship, he’ll give Rocky a chance to explain. Rocky says he’s told everyone he didn’t do it. Says in english he didn’t do it. He says it in Swedish he didn’t do it (taking from the Swedish Chef...one of my personal impersonations to do!). Says it in Chinese he didn’t do it! Says doesn’t matter what happened to Stone Cold, he would still have all the merchandise and the Championship belt.

Mick then calls Triple H into the ring. HHH hands Steph his water and hops into the ring. Mick gives him the mic. Triple H smiles as the crowd tries its best to NOT cheer for him. Triple H says he DID set up Austin! Set him up for a beating. (Triple H and DX did lock Austin in the garage that night). Said he would look into his beedy little eyes like a man and beat him up!. Triple H says he’s been thinking maybe the person was just a really bad driver. Says women aren’t good drivers (argh...what a stinker) says nobody closer to a woman than Kurt Angle. Says Kurt can try to hide it but its true...its true. Mick gives the Angle a chance to speak....mic goes to Angle.

Kurt says its all about motive. What could be his motive. Says it could even be ESSA RIOS! Says maybe Stone Cold stole his green card! Essa defends himself ....in Spanish....guess those English lessons aren’t working out yet Kurt says if it wasn’t Essa it had to be HHH and DX....XPAC in the ring. Says he’s tired of everyone blaming them. Said he knows who it is! Says its Y2J! Jericho hops into ring while dozens of women scream (hee hee). Says he’d like to accuse Xpac but Xpac was busy locking up Stone Cold in the garage. Y2J thinks its that filthy, dirty, discusting brutal bottom feeding trash bag tramp...STEPHANIE!

Steph grabs the only mic and says its unfair! Says that she and her family was there on the scene. Couldn’t be them. Says its the man that once ubducted her (WWF TIES IT UP AGAIN!)....UNDERTAKER! Taker looks MIGHTY sexy smiling as he walks into the ring. After taker spits tabaccy in the ring. Says its true....she is a sleazy tramp! Angle goes after Undertaker and all hell breaks loose! Rocky, Taker, Triple H are left in the ring. “Wreck” plays and EVERYONE leaves. We find out that Undertaker, Rocky and Triple H (!!!) will go up against Kane, Benoit and Kurt Angle in the main event tonight. (Just to note, XWolfRider seems to think that its Kane...well we all have our own ideas. Personally I think it would be the perfect vehicle for THE Rock to turn heel again! I like him better as a heel anyway.).

By the way. I would like to thank the camera man for keeping a great view of Mick, as well as Al Snow and even Mideon every now and then. GOOD job!

Random Thoughts: Al is left on his knees (humina humina) in the ring. Al has the EUROPEAN CHAMPION BELT still! We’re in Milwaukee by the way. Austin shows his face and the crowd orgasms! Says he’ll open up the biggest can of woopass you’ve ever seen in the WWF to find out who ran him over. The thought plickin’s folks! SHANE IS BACK!!!!!! I actually missed that little snot!He got a tan in the hospital! WOW! Shane says that he was all alone in the hospital! Ooooh....says that if Stone Cold can recover from being hit by a car, then he can get healthy too. AWWWW. Shane says he will help Stone Cold find out who did it. Shows clip of McMahons running out to Stone Cold’s side after he was hit. Says he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt who did it and he’ll show it this Sunday on the PPV!! Meanwhile Steph is watching him on TV. Triple H comes in and points out that Shane said he was by himself in the hospital!!!! OH WWF RULZ when it comes to story lines!! Steph says Shane had taken such a big fall that he didn’t know what was going on...Triple H eats a piece of fruit and says that SURE he believes her. HA! Another step to baby-facedom!!! Ahhhhhhh. Ross and Michael Cole announcing?? Just too bizzare for words. I have to say that Rikishi is WAY too cute. His lil impersonation of Eddie was too funny. You go honey! Eddie’s purposal to Chyna was very sweet...I have to admit. Why don’t these athelete’s get nominated for Emmy awards??? (fave quote said by my own lil clique - XwolfRider: There’s no crying in Sports Entertainment!) ACOLYTES dancing!!!!!!! Bradshaw shaking that cute booty of his!! Farooq shaking his cute booty!! Gods help me! Too many booties, so little time! Bradshaw attempting to breakdance! He’s so ....energetic!! Purrrrrrrrr. Angle’s fall into Triple H’s crotch was cute. Triple H’s reaction was beyond perfect. He’s so awsome. Taker tied up in the ropes...purrrr. Rocky goes after Kane (interesting, Bethiah.!). I gots to give props to the costume designer for Taker...NICE tight pants. (OmegaAlpha: Rock musst have taken lessons on stumbling from Scott Hall!! COME BACK SCOTT!!!). DAMN! I hate to admit this, but Angle is a damn good kisser!!

Well I must be going. Nighty night!