Good morning! Wow, long weekend, semi profitable. Twas cheque weekend, so every lowlife who could put a bottle of Bud to his or her lips was out. And also the kick off of Pride week, so every person who doesn't know that you should take pride in yourself all fifty two weeks was out as well. Even ___, that hairy bitch, and gee aren't I sad to only see her once a year.

Kinda hectic around home. Lotsa comings and goings, and never seems to be enough hours in the day. Trying like mad to keep up on the sleep, since I keep falling asleep at work, but whaddya do? I need to cut back somewhere, but where? It's not like I'm not already falling behind on stuff. Bleah, that aspect of life sucks.

What doesn't suck is my, how did you put it, ___, oh yeah, imaginary people! Bring 'em on, I say!!! What did I say Friday? With friends like these (at the bar) is it any wonder I'm on the net. Now don't get me wrong, cos there are some of the finest folks here, there really is. I mean, ___, ___, ___, ___, and a host of others not so close--whew, you make life an adventure and I love you for it--from overindulging to great quotes, from shaking fists to knowing the names of all the actors on BG, you all rock big time, and believe me I love you for it. But, man, flowers!! Video tapes--with labels--music that screams "I love you". And caring about the tiniest things. And not judging same. And being funny and cute and interesting too. And the quotes. And, and...I could go on--I'm not bored...or tired. But I don't really have to. I mean, the folks that seem to have nothing better to do than to make me feel like crap about this won't be reading this anyway, right? So what would be the point. But it does hurt, maybe cos I'm always trying, hell bending over backwards in the effort not to judge them, their behaviours, their lives. I do everything I can to make them feel accepted. To know that I care about them. And some days it bloody seems to go in one ear and out the other, and the best they can do for themselves is a great raging apathy that frankly makes me feel like shit. I'm not asking anyone to live my life, jeez, but man, if you liked me yesterday, guess what? I'm still the same person, just with a wider sphere of influence. I mean...oh, I don't even know how to 'splain it. I guess I'm just in a place now where I am being treated so special by those folks from other lands, as they say, that maybe now I'm spoiled. Could it be that, as with ___, I've been shown by these wonderful boys and girls that I actually don't deserve to have ashtrays thrown at my head? And so I'm ducking them now, instead of crying and saying I love you to the people throwing them? I dunno. I mean, on the other hand, I could just say fuck 'em, but I'd like to think that there's room in my life for all these things. But in case you didn't notice, guys, and you so know who you are (and are so not reading this--believe me, I know) you make me feel like shit anytime something important to me comes up, and I'm supposed to jump through flaming hoops and I don't mean our new Miss Gay for you. Reminds me of ___ in Mallrats: "Screw everybody else, my shit's more important..." Well, know what? My shit's important too, and you are just going to have to live with that. And if you can't then I guess you'll have to find folks who will work for you in your reality. And I'll miss you, but I can't apologize for my life...and I wont.

Wow, there's a rant and a half, huh? Oh, shout out to ___. Oh, man oh man!! You made my life this week. Not that you don't do that on a regular basis, but really! Yikes and double yikes! You are one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I'd do near bout anything to be that person for you, you know, the one that goes bouncing off the waterbed and might make ya a little nervous in the living room *L* I don't mean that to freak you out, but just so you know that you make me feel special and that I hope I can do that for you. Cos you are!

___ and ___ got their latest treats--I'm glad they seem to be enjoying them. ___ says he's afraid of shoving his loves down my throat, well, sometimes I feel the same way with ___ and ___. They certainly do seem to enjoy the Regina slice of life, and I hope if nothing else, we keep 'em smiling. Speaking of which, you should have seen that pic that ___ drew. My word! I thought it was sweet, but I think a line would be crossed there--you know, that "how come you get the swords and I get the ballgag?" line *L* But they too make me feel cherished, and I am so enjoying the relationships. I say plural, cos I've always had that with partners, never having been there in any significant way myself. So there's the one on one, for both, as well as both together, and the dynamics are all different, but all cherished the same amount.

And ___, for the last time: hot, man, really hot, and I am NOT blowing smoke up your ass *L* I know it was harsher for you than for me, but I do so love trading "war stories" with ya--you're a kindred spirit.

___ only traumatized me for one day, and it wasn't like she was telling me anything I hadn't heard before. Just wish I didn't have to hear it coming off the monthly flo. Puts me in a place where I could almost buy into it. Meh--one day at a time, and my words will always mean more than my waistline.

Um, I think I used up everything on that rant *L*. I could go on and on, and you know I could. Things like "___, I love the sound of your voice" and "___, I wish I could see more smiles" and "___, I know what you mean, and I love pecan pie" and "___, whaddya at? Hows she goin' buddy?" Oh, and this one's important: ___, I love your enthusiasm, and you're very sweet to me, lots--you were one of the first imaginary people! But, you need to know that getting face makes me incredibly incredibly uncomfortable, and you don't ever EVER want to go there. Stick to the shrimping and the kisses, and all will be well.

I don't know anything about soccer, but I know my favorite number is 14 now *L*

Okay, I lied, my favorite number is still 24, but 14s close, right? *L*

Okay, I'm just getting silly now, I suppose, so I should probably go try and get the rest of my homework done. Or at least clean up the house some, since it's tv night, even if we've been X-free for a month. Oh, and ___, you'll just have to deal with that spring in your hoop a while longer--didn't make enough this weekend for a new couch!

Keep smiling, my friends, I love you all.