<>Cleveland Rocks!

Drew: I always get screwed by the system. That's my place in the universe. I'm the system's bitch. 

  <>Lewis: "I'll get to heaven even if I have to ride there on a river of blood."
<>              
Larry: An Englishman. Well, it's almost like a woman.

Drew Carey: Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

Drew Carey: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Mimi Bobeck: Ah, spring. When a young man's fancy turns my stomach.
Drew Carey: When was the last time you saw a young man's fancy?
Mimi Bobeck: When was the last time you saw *your* fancy?

Lewis Kiniski: Man... what do you get a guy who's just lost the girl of his dreams and is having a gay green-card wedding just to get his crappy job back?
Oswald Lee Harvey: Champagne flutes?
Lewis Kiniski: You read my mind.

Mimi Bobeck: I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I have to do everything in threes. That's kinda how I got my reputation in school as a slut.

Lewis Kiniski: I am a toilet of sadness. Oh well, at least I'm not a dying whore.

Lewis Kiniski: Ok, Drew is really going to mope about this. So, we need beer, junk food, and pity sex.
Kate O'Brien: I'll get the food.
Lewis Kiniski: I'll get the beer.
[pause]
Oswald Lee Harvey: Every damn time!

Kate O'Brien: Lewis, let me make this clear. The only way I'd lie next to you naked is if we're in a mass grave.

Kate O'Brien: If I were you, I'd pick Lewis. I mean, Oswald's my friend but I wouldn't want Lewis to be mad at me. Remember that time we saw "The Silence of the Lambs", and he said "Now, there's a guy that did something with his life"?

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