There was a certain star, of X-Files long ago
He was handsome, strong, in his eyes the oil would flow
Boy Mulder looked at him, and wished he was queer
But to us straight chicks, this was not the case, it's clear.
Breaching secrets, put people on their keister
A bad boy preaching to the choir
He's a hottie, alien creature
All women desire

My God! Krycek's mean,
Thank God he's not a drag-queen
But now he's fer-ti-lizing the lawn.
My Lord! Those pretty eyes,
I'd like him right between my thighs
Somehow I'll have to just carry on.

He went to Russian land,  Fox left him in the car
But they got caught, couldn't run very far
But both of them escaped, Krycek didn't want to freeze
By the fire lain, the Russians came out of the trees.
Cut his left arm, sold it to some dealer
He was sad, but it was done.
It was cleaved and no one would retrieve her
Beneath the midnight sun.

My God, Krycek's mean
Foolin? ?round with Scully's genes
But he's a man who's real hard to hate
My Lord, you might surmise
He's still alive, aren't you surprised,
Got on with Laurie, she's like a primaaaaaate.

(Spoken:)
But when his killing and thrilling was old, he derived
some power by holding Mulder's antidote hostage
and the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This rat-boy's got to go!" declared his enemies
But his real fans begged "Don't you dare kill him off please!"
No doubt Nick's a shoo-in for Hollywood's charms
But this 'Holly's' a whore, and Nick'll stay right out of harm.
The Ver-tical Limit not-with-standing,
Nick is destined for some fame
Krycek's character needed better handling
Perhaps CC's to blame.

My God, Krycek's been
Beaten up and rarely seen,
That season 8 was makin' me whine
My Lord, his clock was cleaned
Skinner shot his eyes (between)
And now he isn't feeling real fine

My God Krycek's been
A real good sport, but now he's green
He's underground with a hole in his head
My God, was half machine
and sex-i-er than Steve McQueen
But please tell me, is he really dead?

(Spoken:) Oh, those writers...
_______________________________________________________________

The original lyrics if you need them...

RASPUTIN - By Boney M
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a fruit they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...