WOMEN`S ENGLISH:

"Yes" = yes

"No" = NO

"Maybe" = No

"It`s your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

"you don`t have to get that for me" = You better get that for me.

"oh i really want that" = I want to waste all ur money till you go no more on useless girl stuff.[goes especially for blonde girls]

"Do what you want" = You`ll pay for this later.

"We need to talk" = I need to complain.

"sure....... ... go ahead" = I don`t want you to.

"I`m not upset" = Of course I`m upset, you moron!

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you`re really not going to like.

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I`m beautiful.

"do you love me?" = Are you cheating on me?.

"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.

"Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you`re dead.]

MEN`S ENGLISH:

"I`m hungry." = I`m hungry.

"I`m sleepy." = I`m sleepy.

"I`m tired." = I`m tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I`d eventuallylike to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What`s wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"I`m bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let`s have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we`d better have sex now!

"Let`s talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you`d like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.