From the Journal of a Spy A Weiss Kreuz (Yohji) Fanfic By Raven Harlequin "Leave me alone!" I shouted, racing through the darkened alley. I skidded around the corner and gasped, I was stopped by a large brick wall. I quickly spun around, watching the way I came and hearing the sound of footsteps growing closer before panic set in. Without thinking about it I began trying the three doors on either side of me, twisting knobs until one finally turned and I was able to sneak in and close it behind me. I turned the lock into place and took a deep breath before turning around and gazing around the dimly lit room. The room was large with sinks and pots of flowers, the fragrance was quite relaxing as I inhaled deeply and took two quiet steps forward. I had hopes that no one would be inside, that I could sneak out the front door and get away without anyone knowing the better. I turned my gaze to another door and tested the knob before opening it and looking inside. I recognized it as the flower shop that my grandmother frequented, the best in town. A sigh of relief escaped me when I found that no one was there and was about to step inside when a hand closed around my mouth and jerked me backwards. "What are you doing here?" came a sharp voice. I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm until he slid his hand down and turned me around to face him. I could barely see the flash of green in his eyes in the darkness as I studied his face. "Someone is following me," I whispered in a frightened voice, I could feel my body shaking and tried to control it as his hand gripped my arms tighter. "I'm sorry, this was the only door that was open, I swear I wasn't not breaking in..." I was cut off by the rattle of the doorknob and jumped as my eyes darted to the backdoor I had come in through. He pushed me behind him and turned the slowly turned the lock open. "Please, no!" I cried out, backing through the open doorway as he pulled open the door. The man who had been chasing me stepped through and looked at the man before glaring towards me. "She's a thief, turn her over to me," he growled at the brown haired man. "No!" I cried out, tripping over an empty pot in my attempt to escape the room. "I'm not a thief... please, help me." "Leave now," the green eyed man replied calmly, to my surprise. The other man snarled at him and threw a fist that was easily caught and twisted behind his back. "I said leave." With a hard shove the man was thrown out the door and landed, sprawled on his stomach. He turned and scowled, catching my eyes before the door was slammed shut. "Who are you?" "I didn't do anything," I swore, looking up at him. "That isn't what I asked," he replied, turning around to look at me. He leaned back against the door and lit a cigarette before pushing himself off and stepping towards me. I started to back away when he held out his hand to me. I studied his eyes for a minute, searching for any kind of menace before sighing and taking his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. "My name is Raven," I told him quietly, looking down at the floor. "Why was he after you?" "I overheard him talking to someone. They were discussing a murder... or a murder about to be committed, I was only passing by and stopped to listen when they seen me and started to chase me," I answered, not taking my eyes off my feet. "If they find me, they'll kill me, I'm certain of it." "You're not lying to me, are you?" he asked me calmly, tilting my chin up with a gloved finger. He looked down into my eyes and I felt my pulse begin to quicken as I sucked in a breath. "I never lie," I finally said firmly, squaring my shoulders defiantly. He chuckled lightly and nodded, dropping his hand down to his side and putting the cigarette back to his lips. "The name's Yohji, don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." I managed a light smile and ran a hand through my thick hair. "Thank you," I said quietly, suddenly feeling very shy. "Why are you helping me?" "I never let a man hurt a woman," he looked me over and grinned slightly. "Especially not one as cute as you are." I gasped and looked up at him, my cheeks turning a deep crimson. He chuckled again and held his arm out to me. "Come on, I'll take you someplace safe." I hesitated for a second before hooking his arm and resting my hand in the crook of his elbow. He smiled down at me before leading me out the front door and locking up before pulling his arm from mine, and sitting down on a red motorcycle. "Get on." I took another deep breath and released it before climbing on behind him and adjusting myself in the seat. He took another hit off his cigarette before flicking it away and turning the key in the ignition. His hands reached back and grabbed mine pulling them around his waist before he pushed the bike up and kicked back the stand. "Hold on," he told me as the bike quickly took off. I yelped quietly as I tightened my arms around his waist and held on to him tightly, ducking my head low against the wind that rushed past me. I couldn't help but smile as I leaned against him, he was warm to the touch and I had never been so close to a man before. I watched the city as we rode through the streets, everything looked almost a blur as he quickened pace and turned a sharp corner. I flinched at the sound of car horns blaring and looked up to see the car quickly turn out of the way as he flew past. I couldn't help a small giggle, which brought a light laugh from him. "We're here," he told me as he slowed down and finally stopped in front of a tall building. He slid off the seat and held out his hand to me again, which I took and climbed down. I gazed up at the building then looked back at him before he turned and pulled me towards the glass door. Neither of us could see the man watching us carefully from across the street. I stepped into the large apartment and wandered over to the window to look down at the street and out at the city, brightly lit against the nighttime sky. "Where are we?" I asked, peering at the building across the street before slowly turning to look at him. He dropped down onto the sofa and propped his feet up as he gazed at me over the dark glasses he was wearing. "Friend's place," he shrugged, lighting another cigarette and stuffing the lighter back into his pocket. "He's never here so I come here when I want to get away from everyone." "And no one knows you come here?" I asked, sinking down on the opposite end of the couch. "Few," he replied through his cigarette, he stretched his arm out on the back of the couch and gazed over at me, looking me head to toe before he settled on my eyes. "You've got nice eyes." "Thank you," I blushed, clasping my hands together and looking away. I brushed a dark lock of hair behind my ear and looked up and around the room, wondering who he could know that would own such lavish furnishings. He rose to his feet and wandered across the room, gazing out the window as a few drops of the beginnings of rain splashed against it. I watched him, jumping as the lightning flashed and the lights flickered out, then stared as the fire of his cigarette floated across the room until he came into sight and sat down next to me. "Afraid of lightning?" he asked with a lazy grin as he tossed the cigarette into an ashtray and looked down at me. "No, of course not," I answered in a shaky voice, jerking as another flash flooded the room. I could feel his body shaking with his quiet laughter as he slid his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. "I thought you never lied," he grinned as he tilted my chin up to look down at my face. "It won't hurt you, I won't let anything hurt you." He leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly against mine. Startled, my eyes flew open wide and my heart pounded madly in my chest as he brushed his lips over mine, I took a few short breaths and closed my eyes. He could feel the tension begin to ebb from my body and took the opportunity to explore my mouth even more, parting my lips and taking me to a place that I'd never been before. It amazed me how I seemed to melt in his arms and then it struck me that he was most likely some kind of player, always bringing women to his little hidey hole and... but what did it matter? He made me feel so light and warm. "No," I whispered, finally putting my hands against his chest and gently pushing him away. I could feel the burning in my cheeks and the way that my chest moved rapidly with my quickened breathing. And I could still feel his arm around my shoulder, see those lazy green eyes staring down at me, all I wanted was to just lean forward and..."I'm sorry." "It's fine," he smiled at me, a hint of surprise in his voice. Yes, it was obvious now, this man was not accustomed to rejection. His hand lifted to slide a stray lock behind my ear and I could feel myself shiver at the slight touch. Just being this close to him was like having a piece of heaven but I couldn't let myself succumb to a one night stand, my grandmother taught me that I deserved much better than that. "What's going on in there?" I blinked a couple times, startled that he'd spoken, and looked up at him. He was just sitting there watching me, not moving, not trying to make another move, and he looked so curious. "I was just thinking," I answered his question, turning my gaze downward. "What about?" he asked. He seemed genuinely interested which came as a shock to me. Perhaps I misjudged him. I looked back up at him and started to smile when the sound of shattering glass broke through the moment. I covered my head with my arm to block the shards that had come flying towards me. I could feel Yohji start to twist me under him when other hands were suddenly upon me, jerking me away from the safety of his grip. I tried to hold on, grabbing hold of his hand until a second person was there, jerking him backwards with a black cord around his throat. "Yohji!" I cried out as the feeling of falling suddenly overtook me. I watched the sky overhead and lost my breath as we were jerked to a halt and he climbed the rest of the way down using the rope they had climbed up with. I twisted, trying to jerk out of his grip but he was just too strong for me, he wasn't about to release me. Or so I thought. I screamed as he suddenly dropped me, half a story from the ground, I fell into someone's waiting arms and looked up into the face of a grinning Shuldig. "Hello pretty," he looked down at me then winked. "Oh no, you're not getting away from me this time. Oh honey, stop thinking of me like that, you're pretty boyfriend up there won't be coming to your rescue again. You should know by now pretty birdie, not to think those things around me." I started to scream again when I felt a pinch at my neck and everything went black. "Did you actually think you could get away with this?" I groaned softly and opened my eyes, trying to adjust the blurriness on who was speaking. I blinked several times until my vision focused on Shuldig and I dropped my head back down, groaning loudly. He leaned over to me, catching my wrist before I could move away from him. "I didn't do anything," I told him, trying to jerk my wrist away from him. "Silly girl, don't lie to me," he grinned down at me then grabbed my shirt and yanked it open, revealing the sleeveless tight black top underneath. His hand reached out and pulled the dagger out of the holster before tossing it out the window. "You're more than what you're trying to let on but I know better." He looked into my eyes and I cringed as I tried to push myself back against the door. He pulled me back and crushed me against him as he smoothed my hair back. "You're already smitten with that pretty boy, aren't you? Here I had hopes that you and I could get together." "Keep dreaming," I glared at him, struggling in his grip. "You don't have to worry about him anymore, I've finally gotten rid of him, all thanks to you," he snickered. "And added bonus to getting rid of you too." He pushed open the car door and shoved me outside onto the pavement before climbing out after me and pulling me to my feet by my hair. "I've got something special planned for you tonight sweetheart, you sure you won't reconsider?" "Never," I choked out as he led me towards the edge of the bridge. He pushed me forward, half leaning me over the railing to look down at the dark water flowing beneath. "Can you swim?" he asked casually before pushing me forward. I flipped over the thick bar and cried out as I grabbed onto the next one and held on as tight as I could. I looked back down at the water then back up at Shuldig as he knelt down and lightly stroked my fingers. "You make things so much fun." "No!" I yelped out as he started lifting my fingers one by one. My left hand came loose and I fell sideways, flailing my legs as my right hand strained to hang on. I tried to push myself back to grab back on when my left as he started to pull up the fingers of my other hand. "Stop! I won't tell anyone, I swear it!" "Too late for that," he snickered as he pulled up another one, teasing me with his eyes. "I gave you a chance, that offer is void now, too bad for you." I cried out as my hand finally slipped free and closed my eyes as I began to fall. "Got ya!" came a voice as someone grabbed my hand and stopped my descent. My eyes snapped open and I looked up at Yohji in surprise as he pulled me up onto the metal beam. "Think I was dead? Don't look so surprised." "You've been here the whole time?" I asked him, astonished. "How did you know that he would..." "Predictable," he grinned. "Why else would he bring you to a bridge if he didn't plan to drop you off of it?" I looked up as I head Shuldig's angry shouts and gasped as Yohji jerked me in a direction and started to run across the beams under the bridge. "How did you..." "I have my ways," he replied, cutting me off as his hands circled my waist and he lifted me onto another beam before climbing up after me. He stopped as he hovered over me and grinned down at me as he brushed his lips against mine. "I'm not so easily disposed of." He rose to his feet and pulled me up before nudging me in a direction and following me as we reached the end of the bridge. I grabbed onto the metal rungs and started to climb down, sucking in a deep breath as I gazed down at the ground that seemed so far away. "Don't look down." "You say that now," I mumbled as I closed my eyes and continued the decent, letting go of the breath I had been holding when my feet finally touched the cement foundation. He hopped down beside me and took my hand and grinned down at me. "Can you swim?" he asked, gesturing to the water that surrounded us on all sides. He didn't wait for an answer as he jumped, pulling me into the dark water with him. I gasped as I broke through the surface and struggled to remain afloat as the waters swirled around me. I felt Yohji's hand grasp mine and slid my arms around his neck as I was pulled against him. "They won't find us downstream," he said as he rolled onto his back and pushed himself backwards with his feet, holding on to me as he swam towards the shore quite a distance away. I coughed and sat down when he finally pushed me onto a rock and climbed up to sit next to me. "You alright?" I nodded quickly and looked up at him, sighing as he pushed a damp lock of hair out of my face. I felt another blush warm my cheeks as he gazed down at me then shook away the moment's disorientation and rose to my feet. He grinned and stood up as he looked towards the street and pushed me forward. I stumbled and caught myself on his arm before walking away from him, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. I heard the screeching of tires coming from nearby and cried out as Yohji's arm circled my waist and pulled me with him as he ducked into an open door, pinning me against the wall as the car sped past. "You know, I could really get to enjoy this," he told me lightly with a chuckle. I blinked out of my daze and gave him a hard shove. "Don't get too sure of yourself," I told him before looking over at the mailboxes. I pulled a pick out of my pocket and opened a few of them before finding the one that I wanted and hurrying up the stairs to the door that matched it's number. I slipped the pick into the lock and waited for the click to sound before opening it a crack and peering inside. "Not a thief eh?" Yohji asked as he leaned his shoulder against the wall beside me. I looked up at him and shook my head before stepping inside and looking around. "Just something I do to get by when I have to," I sighed as I sat down on the couch and used the remote to turn on the television. "If there is a lot of mail in the mailbox then whoever lives here usually isn't around for awhile." "True enough," he said as he closed the door behind him and locked it. "But why would you need to break into someone's apartment if it's not to steal something?" "Same reason we're here now," I told him, not taking my eyes off the television screen. "A place to rest and sometimes hide, whoever lives here has no ties to me so it's unlikely in the extreme that anyone would come looking for us here." He grinned as he sat down next to me and propped his feet on the table in front of him. "So why do you hide so much?" "You ask a lot of questions," I muttered, finally turning my head to gaze at him. "It isn't any of your business." "Just curious," he said, staring down into my eyes. "Can't help but to wonder, but I guess it's fairly obvious why anyone would be chasing after a girl that looks like you." I sucked in a breath then dropped the remote and rose to my feet before rushing into the bedroom. I could feel his eyes on my back until I shut the door behind me and sighed as I leaned back against it. It seemed the longer I spent around him the more difficult it became to keep a clear mind. I glanced around the room and started pulling off my wet clothes and dropping them to the floor as I peeked into the closet and pulled the string inside to turn on the light. They were all women's clothing, obviously we'd stumbled into a single woman's apartment, that much I could tell from all the feminine furnishing in the living room. I pulled out a pair of black pants and a long black shirt and turned around, stopping as I walked into a shirtless Yohji. I felt myself turn red and used the clothing in my arms to cover my bare chest before reaching up and turning off the light. "I'm just borrowing them," I told him softly, hugging the clothes. "I didn't come in here to scold you," he told me with that lazy smile of his. I looked up at him and tried to see his eyes behind the dark glasses. Before I could say anything or ask what he had come in there for, I was in his arms and his lips were upon mine. I closed my eyes and sighed softly against his lips before the clothing fell from my grip to land on the floor at our feet. He reached down and lifted me up, not taking his lips from mine even as he carried me over to the bed and laid me down before climbing on top of me and pulling me against him. "Wait," I breathed, pulling away from him then stopped as he tilted my head back and kissed me again, this time more passionately than before. I melted in his arms, the fight leaving me completely as I wrapped my arms around his neck and letting him take me away to a place I'd never been before. My eyes drifted open as the sunlight filtered in through the window and looked up as the curtains billowed gently in the wind. I felt an arm around my waist and looked over at Yohji who was sound asleep on his stomach beside me, the sheet barely covering his naked body. I closed my eyes and tried to tell myself that I was dreaming and that any minute I would wake up in my own bed at my grandmother's house. I opened my eyes again and looked up at the ceiling that I knew that would still be there. Why had I given in so easily to him? I'd never fallen pray to a playboy before, so why start now? I gazed over at him and sighed softly, wondering if he knew that I'd never been with a man before him. But no, I'd fallen so easily into his arms that he would probably think I'd done it before, perhaps many times before. I sighed and draped an arm over my eyes as I struggled to clear my mind. Never in my life had I felt such feelings before, about any man. I felt a hand touch my arm and let him pull it away as he leaned over me. "What's the matter?" he asked as he gazed down at my face. "Regretting what we did?" "No," I said softly as I looked up at him, then reached a hand up to touch his cheek before dropping it and turning my head away. "Regretting that this wasn't more than just a tumble in the bed. Regretting that you don't love me." I felt his hand against my cheek as he gently turned my head back, forcing my eyes that were quickly filling with tears, to look into his. "Who says that I don't?" he whispered to me before brushing his lips against mine and running a hand down my side. I felt the tears slip free and closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him and let him hold me. He rolled onto his back and held me against his chest, lightly rubbing my back as I quietly cried in his arms. Love? I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, but I knew that I felt it for him. I had since I'd first laid eyes on him but it wasn't something I had wanted to admit to him, to anyone. But all this would be worth it if it truly earned me his love, even if it did have to end. I turned away again and slid out from under him to retrieve the clothes I'd dropped the night before. I just want to tell you that last night was the best night of my life. "Last night was a mistake," I told him as I pulled on the pants. They were a bit tight but I didn't care. I want to be the only woman you'll ever love. "I can't get you involved with the risks that I take. It isn't fair." I slipped into the shirt and scooped up my still damp clothes before giving him a long look and turning into the living room. I could hear him moving around in the bedroom, along with the rustling of clothes before he followed me. "Why are you so closed minded?" he asked me, standing directly behind me. "I can see a lot going on up there but you won't say what you're really thinking." "Let's not make this personal," I told him, not turning to look at him. "It already is," he said, grabbing me and spinning me around. He gazed down at me, holding me against him as he held me with those green eyes. "No, you're not the kind of man to settle down with one woman," I said through my tears. I took a deep breath, trying to stay composed. "And I'm not the kind of woman who likes to share." "Don't tell me what kind of man I am," he snapped, surprising me with his sudden anger. I scowled and jerked away from him then gasped at the sound of a key moving in the lock. "Let's do lunch," I glared at him before racing into the bedroom. By the time he caught up with me I was already gone out the open window. I watched from the roof as he climbed out and jumped to the balcony across the alley before he turned his head. I watched him as his eyes caught mine, pushing my hair away from my face as the wind caught it and felt my heart break as I turned away from him. And ran. Three days later... I gasped for air and closed my eyes. I was almost there but I was afraid that I wouldn't make it. I had nowhere else to go. Please be there. I turned the knob, thanking my lucky stars that it was unlocked before I pushed it open and stumbled inside, gazing around the room for any signs of life. "Hello?" I asked the room before closing the door behind me. "You've changed!" I heard a voice shout from the next room. "You won't even look at me anymore! It's another woman, isn't it? You bastard, lose my number and don't call me anymore. I'd be happy if I never even heard your voice again." I watched as the woman stormed out of the room and stop as she spotted me. She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she brushed past me, almost knocking me down as she slammed the door behind her. I watched the door for a moment before I heard footsteps coming and froze. I turned my head slowly to look at Yohji. "Turning a new leaf?" I asked him with a half grin before I fell to my knees and wheezed loudly. "Never pictured you... dumping your mistresses." "She dumped me, didn't you hear?" he asked as he came to help me to my feet. I looked up at him and smiled before covering my mouth and coughing into it. "I can't seem to... never mind. What happened to you?" He tilted my chin up and blinked when he finally noticed the blood running down my chin and over my left eye. "Just got into a bit of a scuffle," I half lied, pressing my hand harder against my ribs as a wave of dizziness set in. "Would you mind... if I sat down?" He didn't hesitate to scoop me off the floor and carry me into the bedroom, laying me down gently on the bed before he began to examine me carefully. His eyes grew worried for a moment then round as he pulled my hand away from the wound. "You've been stabbed," he said, surprise in his voice at he peered down at me. I couldn't help but to stare into his eyes, those eyes that had been in my dreams every night since we last parted. I could feel myself beginning to turn numb, all the pain seemed to fade away with the feel of his hands on me again. "I shouldn't have come here," I told him softly. I lifted a hand to brush the backs of my fingers against his jaw. "I had hoped you would be here but I'm doing nothing but putting you into more danger." "Danger isn't new to me," he assured me as he ripped open my shirt and leaving the room for a moment before he came back with a clean towel and a small box. I watched as he poured some liquid into the towel and flinched as he pressed it against the knife wound. I grit my teeth together and closed my eyes, letting him take care of me. It was more than obvious that he wasn't new to this sort of experience. He stitched and bandaged the wound with an expertise that surprised even me then removed the tattered remnants of my shirt and set to work cleaning the wound on my forehead and rinsing the blood away before I finally opened my eyes to look at him. "I'm sorry," I whispered through a ragged breath then grinned at his expression. "I'm not dead yet, I've been through worse than this." "Why did you come here?" he finally asked me. "I didn't have anywhere else to go," I sighed softly. "I can't let my grandmother see me like this. I'll understand if you want me to go." "Why would I want you to leave?" he stood up and put the first-aid box on the small bedside table and sat down next to me. He looked down at me for an answer but by that time I was already asleep. I darted upright in bed and sucked in a breath as pain shot through my torso. I bit back the scream and turned my head to look at Yohji asleep beside me, entirely naked except for the sheet half draped over him. I rose to my feet and walked over to his closet, grabbing one of his shirts before leaving the room and heading for the door. "Friend's place... indeed," I muttered to myself as I gazed at the newly replaced windows. But I didn't blame him for lying to a complete stranger. I carefully pulled the shirt over my head and adjusted it over the bandages wrapped tightly around my ribs before running my hands through my hair and reaching for the door. "Leaving so soon?" came a voice from behind me. I closed my eyes and turned around slowly, opening my eyes and letting my gaze start at his bare feet and work their way up past the unbuttoned pants he wore, to the open shirt and exposed chest and finally to his face. He was watching me over the rim of his dark glasses, his light brown hair partially hanging over his face. I sighed softly and leaned back against the door. "I already told you..." "You're not putting me into anything that I can't handle," he replied before I could finish my sentence. He quickly strode the distance between us and put his hands against the door on either side of my head, leaning forward to look at me eye level. "Ever since I met you I haven't had a goodnight's sleep and I can't begin to imagine why." "Who knows," I choked out, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in his presence. I bit my lip to hide it's quivering before I chanced a look into his eyes, moaning softly in disbelief when I seen the last thing I expected to see in their depths. "Why? You don't even know me. I don't know anything about you." "But that feeling is still there," he said softly as his face grew ever closer to mine. "I can't explain it and neither can you, but it's still there." I closed my eyes as his lips finally touched mine. The familiar spark that I felt whenever he was near exploded in my mind until my knees grew weak and I began to slide down the door. He caught me and lifted me into his arms as he gazed down at me, sighing as he carried me back to his bed. "You lost a lot of blood, you need to rest." "They'll find me here again," I argued weakly, to tired to do much more. I gazed up at him as he leaned over me and chewed on my bottom lip. Everything was just happening way to fast, I had thought that these things took time but the more I seen him the more... "I'll protect you," he said, interrupting my thoughts then he grinned down at me. "And don't say that I don't know you. I may not know where you came from or what kind of pancakes you like but I know every curve of that pretty little body of yours. I know what brings a smile to those lips. Everything else comes later on." "What's everything else?" I asked him softly. "You'll have to tell me that," he told me with a smile. "I would like to know you. I want to know what's always going inside that head of yours." "And give up the bachelor life?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow. "I can't imagine someone giving that up so easily. Especially for someone like me." "It's not as great as everyone seems to think it is," he shrugged. "Sometimes you just want something more solid. I mean... I wouldn't mind waking up to you in the mornings, seeing those green eyes. Something tells me you alone are worth more than a dozen women together." "I'll think about that," I told him with a smile and held my side as I laughed lightly. "You sure know how to boost one's ego. But that still won't help the fact that I'm a danger to you." "Tell me the truth. Who are you? Why are you always in trouble?" he asked me as he laid down beside me and propped his head into his hand to gaze down at me. "You didn't just happen by that conversation, did you?" I sighed and shook my head, opening my mouth to say something else when my eyes grew wide. "Stop…!" I shouted, a moment too late. Yohji's body fell over mine, limply crushing me. I felt tears spring to my eyes and clung to him as I stared up at Shuldig and for once feeling fear at the sight of him. "Please, leave him alone, I'll go with you if you leave him alone." "You're going to go with me anyways," he shrugged with a grin then motioned a group of men into the room to gather up Yohji's unconscious form before he picked me up himself and followed them out the door. "You make one wrong move and he's dead, got it?" I closed my eyes and nodded, surrendering myself completely to him. "Wake up! Wake up!" I opened my eyes, coughing as I choked on the water thrown at me. I tried to sit up, jerking backwards as the leather cuffs around my wrists limited my movements. I looked from side to side, gazing at the binding before looking up at Shuldig who seemed a little more than pleased with himself. "We're going to play a game, you and I," he replied, buffing his fingernails on his sleeve. "You're going to get the chance to pay back your debts and save your boyfriend, but if you fail you belong to me. No ifs, ands, or buts, got it?" I narrowed my eyes at him then sighed and nodded slowly. "What do I have to do?" I asked him warily. I didn't trust him, not in the least. "All you have to do is free him, and survive doing it," he grinned. "If you don't survive then all the more fun." He carefully undid straps me before helping me off the table and nodding to a door. I peered at him one last time before turning and making my way to it, listening intently before pulling it open and starting inside. "Be careful it's tricky in there." "How do I know you'll let us go when I've found him?" I asked, staring into the darkness. "What have you got to lose?" "Everything..." I whispered to myself before closing the door behind me, and walking through the darkened room. "Yohji?" "Don't move," he said quietly from the darkness somewhere above me. "I can hear something in here but I can't see it." "Are you alright?" I asked, turning a slow circle as I tried to target his voice. There was a slight echo, making it near impossible to determine his location. I gasped and jumped back when I heard the rustle of something moving and swallowed hard. "Where are you?" He didn't have anytime to answer as something charged at me, knocking me hard to the ground. I held my hands up, holding the snarling jaws away from my throat as it tried to go in for the kill. "Raven!" I heard his voice, tears springing to my eyes as sharp teeth grazed over my flesh. I yelped loudly and kicked the beast off of me, backing towards the door as I listened to it stalking in a slow circle. My back touched a wall and I pushed myself to my feet, reaching blindly in the air until I caught hold of a chain and started climbing it, flinching as whatever had attacked me snapped at my feet. "This isn't my idea of a fun game," I sighed as I pressed my forehead against the cool metal then looked upwards as I started to climb again. "Where are you?" "Over here," his voice came from straight ahead. "Are you hurt?" "No," I lied as I reached my hand out, searching until I found another chain and grabbed on to it. "I bet this place looks really... interesting in the light." "Kinky," he chuckled softly. I shook my head and swung onto another chain, listening as the wild animal circled the floor directly under me, following my every movement. "What's the game?" "Surviving," I told him, closing my eyes to listen to his voice that seemed to be getting closer. "That all?" he asked. "He must have another ace up his sleeve or he wouldn't bother with this." "He always does," I sighed. "Keep talking." "You never told me who you really are," he said simply. "We got interrupted. And you sound like you know Shuldig." "As do you," I retorted, breathing in deep relief when my fingers finally touched the cloth of his shirt. I ran my fingers over his ribs and touched his face to make sure he was the Yohji I knew and smiled as I grabbed on to him and swung my legs around his waist. "Now how are you holding up here?" I reached up and felt his arms, cringing at the feel of the chains digging at his wrists. "You should have tried to get out of this." "I would have but this bump on my head told me otherwise," he muttered. I heard him wince and tried to be as careful as I could while reaching up to grab the chain in both hands. "I'm going to lift you up as much as I can, when I do slip your hands out and hang on to me." I grit my teeth together and pulled upwards with all of my might, pulling him with me inch by inch until there was enough slack to pull his hands free. I let my arms straighten back out and took a few deep breaths. "Grab one of those chains, I'm about to fall." Yohji kicked his legs slightly, swinging us back and forth until he grabbed a chain and released my waist. "Yohji," I whispered, closing my eyes. I felt my arms begin to weaken until my hands simply let go. "No!" he cried out as his hand brushed past me. I could sense the ground rising up to greet me and then I hit it landing hard on my back, forcing the wind to rush from my lungs. I forced myself to stay perfectly still, not chancing making any wrong moves and get eaten alive by some unknown beast. I looked up, gazing at the flicker of light before shifting my eyes towards the source of growling. The wolf was staring at me as if it hadn't eaten in days, it was moving towards me, toying with me before it struck. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing to die, as it growled and pounced after me. Then there was a sharp yelp and the angry dog never did touch me. I chanced a peek and blinked in surprise at the wires holding the animal from all sides, suspending it several feet off the ground. I looked up as Yohji slid down and knelt beside me. "I'm sorry," he said sullenly as the lighter flickered out. "I'm okay," I choked out, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulled to my feet and supported me against him. "We have to get out of here before he finds us." "Too late," someone said as the door swung open. I looked up, eyes wide as the gun fired and Yohji spun around, gripping his waist tightly as beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. "Yohji!" I grabbed onto him to keep him from falling and glared over at Shuldig who still held the smoking gun pointing directly at my head. "You said you would let us go!" "You believed me?" he chuckled, watching my face in amusement as I shook with fury. I coughed and lowered Yohji to his knees before spinning on Shuldig and catching him off guard with a swift kick to the wrist that surprised even me. I grabbed up the gun as it skidded across the ground toward me and held it pointing at him, gritting my teeth against the throbbing in my ribs. "You're going to let us go now," I told him fiercely, hiding the weakness behind my anger. He shook his head and grinned as he took a step towards me. I narrowed my eyes and lowered the gun, firing it at his leg. He shouted in agony and fell backwards as he grabbed at the spot of red rapidly spread over his white trousers. I quickly pulled Yohji up and wrapped his arms around my neck as I held his body against my back and rushed from the room as quickly as I could. I pushed the button on his watch, waited for the wire to retract before I slammed the door closed and twisted the bolt into place. "Maybe that wolf will keep him busy." I heard Yohji laugh behind me and started pulling him to the door, renewing my efforts as his head rested limply against my shoulder and he suddenly grew heavier. "Please, hang on Yoj." I kicked open the door and took a deep breath of the night air and drug him over to the first car I seen. He was still breathing deeply but his body was trembling slightly and he didn't seem to be conscious anymore. I yanked open the car door and dropped him into the seat, bending to lift his legs inside before closing the door and rushing over to the other side, not bothering with the door as I hopped over it and bent forward to pull the wires down. Within moment the car was running, I pulled the shift down into gear and slammed my foot on the accelerator. "Wake up Yohji," I told him as I shook him, "You have to wake up!" I spun the corner and heard a light groan from him as he peeked open his eyes and gazed up at me. "We're getting far away from here, try to hold on for me." "I'll wait for as long as you wish..." he said, sliding to the side as the car turned another corner. I looked down at him for a moment as he head fell into my lap and stroked his hair unconsciously, staring at the road as I pulled onto a ramp and headed out of the city. "Is there anywhere we can go that no one would think to look for us?" I asked him as the wind whipped my hair around my face. "There's a villa, we use sometimes on Mount Takegami," he said softly then struggled to explain the directions to me. "No one is going to miss you, are they?" I asked him, rubbing my hand over his shoulder as if trying to keep him warm. "I doubt they'd miss me, but they would probably wonder where I am," he answered, closing his eyes. "No, don't sleep," I told him. I rubbed the tears away from my eyes and gave him another shake, sighing with relief as he opened his eyes and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "My grandmother used to be a nurse, don't look at me like that." That got another chuckle from him. I didn't think I would ever be so happy to hear that laugh of his, when it always seemed to be mocking me, but it didn't seem as such now. I smiled and grabbed onto the wheel as I made another turn onto a small road. "Come on Yohji," I grunted as I pulled him to his feet. He grinned down at me as I pulled his arm over my shoulder and wrapped my arm around his waist so that I could lead him into the cabin. "It's so cold here, how can you stand it." "It's cozy," he told me, looking at me with that familiar gleam in his eye. I blushed and turned my head away from him as I helped him, half stumbling up the steps and into the house. He pointed me to a door and I sighed as we went inside and dropped down onto the bed. His hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me on top of him, he grinned at me for a moment then leaned up and kissed me. I pulled away from him and gave him a scolding look that quickly turned to worry. "You're burning up, is there a medical kit?" I asked him. He nodded and told me before I rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the small white box. By the time I returned, he was unconscious again and his breathing more ragged. I dropped to my knees beside the bed and pulled the open shirt aside, biting my bottom lip as I cleared the blood away from the wound and studied it. The bullet had passed through and missed hitting anything vital, and thankfully it wasn't beginning to infect. He would be okay once the bleeding was stopped. I opened the box and set myself to work. And what seemed like hours later, he was resting peacefully, his fever broken. I removed the bloody shirt and dropped it on the floor before pulling the blankets over him and gazing at him for a long moment. "I love you, Yohji," I whispered in his ear before rising to my feet. "I love you too," I heard him say softly in his sleep before a light smile curved his lips slightly upward. I smiled back at him and quietly left the room. The living room was large and spacious, a fireplace sat in one corner along with a couch and a television not far away. I sighed as I knelt in front of the fireplace and tossed in a few logs, toying with it until the fire was blazing. I looked around and listened intently before pulling off the shirt, stained with Yohji's blood, and laid it over the arm of the couch. I scooped up the blanket and pulled it around me as I dropped onto a large pillow sitting on the floor and stared into the crackling fire. I don't know how long I sat there before my eyes began to droop. I don't even remember laying down before sleep overcame me. It had been such a long, long day. I rolled over and leaned against the warmth I had felt against my back. "I don't want to be alone," I mumbled softly in my sleep as my fingers curled in light brown hair. "Sleepless... cold nights." "You don't have to be if you would stop pushing me away," I heard the voice through the haze of my dream and slowly opened my eyes, not sure that he was even real. He was looking at me in the ways that I had only dreamt about, with genuine emotion, the facade, the ruse was gone in those deep green eyes. I closed my eyes, suddenly sure that I was still asleep. "You left me in that cold bed all alone." My eyes snapped open and I gazed at his pouting lips and the amusement in his eyes. I gave him a light push and rolled away from him, smirking as I sat up. His eyes traveled slowly downward before lifting back to my face with a raised eyebrow. I looked down and gasped as I wrapped my arms over my chest and glared at him. "You got blood all over me," I complained to him before getting up and sitting down on the couch, holding my arms firmly across my bare breasts. "And you made my back hurt from carrying you around all over the place." "That's not what you said last night," he grinned as he slowly climbed up onto the couch next to me, with a hand covering the bandages wrapped tightly around his waist. "I do recall hearing a voice, it sounded mysteriously just like yours." "You were delirious," I countered with a snort. "How could you remember anything I've said?" "I could never forget it," he told me as he grabbed my shoulders. "Let go, you oaf," I said, jerking away from him. "I didn't say anything to you, or to anyone. I never have, I never will." "There it is again," he grinned as he laid down and put his head down on my thigh. He crossed his legs and arms, making himself appear to be rather comfortable where he was laying. "You said you never lie. Did you know what a beautiful body you had?" "Is that one of your pick up lines? It might work for those other, weak women, but it won't work with me Yohji, you should have figured that out by now," I replied, looking away from him. "So you've never said anything to anyone before or... you didn't say or never will say something in particular? Cause I already know that you've spoken to people before, so that must make the latter true," he grinned up at me like a cat who had just eaten a canary. I shook my head at him and slapped his forehead with the palm of my hand, smiling in satisfaction as it produced a loud "Ow" from him before he sat up and rubbed at the small red mark. "Feeling better?" I asked, getting to my feet. I grabbed up the stained shirt and wandered over to the sink where I began to rinse it as clean as I could manage. "Oh, much," he grumbled as he leaned back and watched me. "You don't have to pretend with me, there's no reason to be as cold as the snow outside." "There are many reasons, you just wouldn't understand," I replied, only half paying attention to him as I wrung out the shirt and hung it on the back of a chair. "You can't take your eyes off my chest long enough to think it through." "I must give you that," he chuckled at me, enjoying the glare I through back at him. He seemed to like the challenge I was proving to be. I could see it in his eyes as he stood up, his movements limber and catlike despite the wound that would hinder any normal person. He moved slowly towards me, cupping my cheeks in both hands and lifting my face to meet his eyes. I could feel my heart pounding hard against my chest and my knees begin to grow weak under me. He was quiet for the moment but I was waiting for him to say something, anything, hopefully the right thing. "You weren't complaining about it the first night we met." "You pig," I growled at him as I pulled away from him and stomped out of the room, stopping to pull aside a curtain and look out at the snow blanketed ground and white speckled trees against the pale blue sky. How could someone be everything and nothing to me all at once? It was an impossible situation and I was not given the choice of being by his side. I had no right of all the danger I had put him through, almost costing his life several times. His life wasn't worth a small moment of passion. I leaned my forehead against the cold pane and closed my eyes. "You deserve better, Yohji. I don't want you to change for me." "I haven't changed," he said from behind me. I turned my head to look at him, watching as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. The things he could do to me with those beautiful eyes... I shook my head and turned back to look at the snow. He pushed himself off the wall and moved to stand directly behind me, his hands lightly pressing on my shoulders. "I won't chase you forever, you're going to have to decide soon if you want me or not." "What I want isn't relevant," I told him softly. "My life doesn't leave me with the luxury of decisions. All my choices have already been made for me." "That sounds vaguely familiar." "What would you know about such things? You're a florist, you can do whatever you please, see whomever you wish. Consider yourself lucky to live such a life, don't take advantage of the simple things," I sighed. "You don't know anything about me," he retorted, almost angrily. "You don't know what options I have, or if I can or can't make my own decisions. Don't judge a book by it's cover, it's the pages that matter the most." He turned away then and I listened as his footsteps trailed away from me. I closed my eyes again and bowed my head. I had just gotten what I had wanted but why did my heart feel like it was shattering within me? I heard a small cry, as of a dying animal, and it took me a few moments to realize that it had come from me. I spun around and ran down the hallway, tears running down my cheeks as I watched him slowly turn. Time seemed to creep down into a crawl as I flung myself into his arms. "Yohji!" I cried out, clinging tightly to him. I felt his arms circle around me and I couldn't stop the tears from coming. "He's not going to give up on finding me, come with me, please come. We'll go far away and they'll never find me, never find you." He looked down at me over the rim of his sunglasses then closed his eyes and tightened his arms around my shoulders. "Raven..." he started, opening his eyes and gazing past me out the window. I looked up at him and sucked in a breath when I spotted the tears in his eyes. I shook my head and backed away from him. "You don't have to say it, you've got things holding you here," I sighed looking down at my hands. "As do I..." "Talk to me," he said quietly, taking my hands in his. "Tell me what it is that keeps you bound here." "You first," I said, lifting my gaze to him. Defiance mirrored in my eyes and I knew exactly what he would say before it even came from his lips. "I can't..." "Nor can I." I turned from him then and crossed my arms over my chest as I peered out the window at the light falling of snow. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head as he wrapped his arms around me, covering mine with his. "Can we just live for today? Isn't some better than nothing at all?" He turned me around and smiled softly at me. "Then today it is," he said smoothly before gathering me into his arms and pressing his lips firmly against mine. For the first time since meeting him, I opened my mind entirely to him and let him have me heart and soul. I stopped the car in the alley and looked over at Yohji with a soft sigh. He leaned over and pressed his hand against my cheek, looking into my eyes for a long moment. "Whoever they are, they'll be wondering where you've been," I told him with a slight smile. "It must be nice to have people to depend on." "You have me," he told me with a soft kiss. "I'll always be here when you need me, you know how to find me." "I've got this job to finish then..." I replied, lifting my eyes to his. "I'll come to you. Maybe then... I'll tell you what I am. I don't deserve you, Yohji Kudou." "It's I that doesn't deserve you, if you only knew... I have no right to happiness," he caressed my cheek and I closed my eyes at the feel of his touch. "We're too alike, like we were made for one another." "Then maybe we do deserve each other," I smiled slightly. "You are and always will be my only love. Something inside me tells me that, and I believe it." "I've never told a woman what I said to you, and I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," his voice was like ambrosia inside my head. "You're something special..." "Go," I smiled. "Before I change my mind and hold you hostage." "Not that I wouldn't be willing to be your slave," he chuckled. He kissed me then opened the car door and climbed out. He stood there for a minute, with his back turned to me before he said, "be careful. Where ever you go, come back to me." He closed the door and disappeared into the darkness. I leaned back and took a deep breath before driving away. Something was telling me that I wasn't going to come back... Where ever you are, Yohji Kuduo, don't ever forget me... "I'll come to you. Maybe then... I'll tell you what I am. I'll tell you that I'm a spy..." It was the last time I seen her well. I looked up from where I stood and closed the small book in my hands, studying the cover for the hundredth time. There were pictures of me inside, both photographs of our small time with each other and her own drawings. Beautiful renderings of my face and body, I had known from the beginning that she liked to look upon me, as I loved to watch her move. So sleek and angelic, her form like a cat. I tucked the book away into an inside jacket pocket and gazed up at the stars dotting the nighttime sky, unable to tear my mind away. She was someone that no one could ever forget. I'll never forget her last words to me, never... "Raven!" Yohji shouted as he ran towards her. She spun in time to see him coming and smiled like a child just given her favorite candy. Her hand stretched out to him, fingers dripping with blood. Her own blood. "Yohji... my Yohji..." she whispered, but the words carried over to him. His voice cut through the air, the rage and sorrow mixing together to wound any soul that heard his cries. She collapsed then, fallen to her knees as she held her hand over her heart, the smile still on her lips as she watched him, the light behind him creating a halo around him and she thought then that he looked like and angel. Her angel come to take her away from all the pain, he soared. He was upon her then, pulling her towards him as he fell to his knees and cradled her. She just stared up at him, so happy to see him there that she couldn't even feel the pain any longer. His tears slipped down his cheeks as he stared at her through his dark sunglasses. Her heart was full of him while his was breaking for her. "Don't change for me, Yohji, I love you just the way you are," she choked out as she gazed up at him. She smiled faintly and pressed a small book to his heart, her bloody fingerprints smearing over it's cover. "Keep me with you, always..." Her body fell limp and her eyes slowly closed for the last time. "No!!!" he cried out and threw his head back to scream toward the stars. He cradled her in his arms and rocked back and forth with her, his sobs shaking his body as the tear drops fell on her still smiling face. Even in death she looked the same, like she was sleeping. And finally at peace. Needless to say her death did not go unavenged. Yohji was a terror like none had ever seen before. He took the job alone. No one survived the night. But that is another story... -The End- "I feel like I'll ruin it if I believe in it So I just spend the days cradling my anxiety If you were here, I wouldn't let you go Chased by the sound of a clock I could only survive by forgetting you We'll kiss just like your and my loneliness Just like putting our loneliness together The scar we left together Will give us a beautiful departure." -from Beautiful Alone