i've never broken a bone. i have an earring in my eyebrow, my lip, and three in each ear. i always wear my seatbelt. i save pretty wrapping paper to reuse. i know all the words to "ice ice baby". i love driving. i can flare my nostrils. i can roll my tongue, and my r's. i have one sister, one brother-in-law, and one nephew. i can play the alto saxophone. i can juggle. i've been stuck in a chair, a tuna fish can, and a seatbelt. when i was in kindergarten, i had a tooth knocked out by some dumb boy. i've never been on a roller coaster. i met dickie barrett. i drive a dodge avenger. it's black. i prefer ATM machines over tellers. i eat the cake before the frosting. i've got a tattoo. i'm a slacker. children like me. in one hour i can make 20 3-minute eggs. i've rushed the stage. i like shoes, but i prefer bare feet. i smoke. i hate public speaking. i got a yellow belt in jiu jitsu when i was 13. i'm antisocial. i have violent dreams. my favorite constellation is orion. i sing in my car. i've been yelled at by a park ranger. i can't swim. i'm not religious. i have funky thumbs. i eat the stems of broccoli. i can blow smoke rings. i'm an honest tax payer and a responsible consumer. i've got ketchup packets in my glove compartment.