FIRST SCORE : AGES 0 - 20

The first twenty years of human existence involve more significant growth and changes than any other period in life. Birth itself is the greatest of our early transitions, although it is not catalogued in a readily available memories. We are pushed out of a warm, comfortable environment, bombarded with lights and sounds, and faced with the monumental challenges of breathing for ourselves, regulating our own body temperature, and eating.

Bodily functions must be mastered. "Potty training" is the first major milestone in our lives, and sets the pattern for all of our other goals. Either we achieve this with determination and pride or we fight it and delay the inevitable as long as possible. Likewise, in later life, we either accomplish other tasks with the same determination or we procrastinate and try to avoid any real effort, usually with disappointing and frustrating results. So, parents, try to be supportive and encouraging during those early years of your child’s life.

Basic language skills must be developed. But, just learning to speak is not enough, although that is a major accomplishment in and of itself.

After only a few years, we are drug off to school and isolated from our family within a group of other children of approximately our own chronological age, and forced to learn the ways and language of our particular culture. Unfortunately for the teachers, and the students, only attendance can be made mandatory. For this reason, many of our children rebel against the system and refuse to learn. In later life, however, they discover that they did not hurt the teachers one bit with their rebellion, and only they themselves have suffered by their lack of attention. Hopefully, this realization will come while there is still time to correct the problem and redirect the course of the middle years of formal education.

During childhood, one of our most important activities is our social interaction with friends, most of whom are of the same gender. Through our assorted successes, and failures, we develop a sense of self-worth and a basic philosophical outlook on life. Either we gain confidence and self-esteem, becoming adventurous and daring to take risks, or we become pessimistic and self-critical.

Puberty only complicates our world even more. We experience growth spurts and the development of our sexual characteristics. We are quickly transformed from children to people who look more like adults, but who do not yet have adult freedoms. Our potential for sexual arousal is sometimes socially embarrassing, and often personally frustrating. Our emotional state is unstable, intense, and confusing. There are strong, social pressures to conform to masculine and feminine stereotypes, which only further blurs one’s self-image.

By the end of our teen years, we struggle to integrate our sense of Self with the image others seem to have of us. We have settled into our sexual-role and, now, turn our attention to our vocational identity. "What do I want to be when I grow up?" is the question that must now be answered.
 
 

SECOND SCORE : AGES 20 - 40

Our early twenties is a time of several traumatic changes. We are no longer just children. Our muscular strength, manual dexterity, and sensory acuity are at the peak of their physical development. Our emotional patterns have become well established and we are expected to "grow up," but we do not yet have enough practical experience to actually be an adult.

We must, during the next few years, begin to accomplish three critical goals. First, we must leave home and our parents, both physically and psychologically. Next, we must find and establish a career for ourselves. Then, we must find a mate, marry and begin a family, if we are ever to do so.

For many of us, leaving home is one of the most confusing of all experiences. It is an exciting adventure, a step out into the unknown and freedom. We are our own bosses, and we no longer have to answer to anyone. We can do whatever we like, whenever we like. But, it is also a time of pain and sorrow. Except for the moment of our birth, no other action has left us feeling so alone. We feel pulled backward toward childhood by our fears of vulnerability, failure, and the overwhelming weight of self-responsibility. For this reason, many children see their parents more after moving out than they did while still living at home.

If we did not already do so during our latter teens, we must now choose a career and begin to acquire the skills, credentials, and experience necessary to succeed. However, most of us are confronted with the aggravating situation of not being able to get the job we want, in the beginning, because we do not have the required experience, and we cannot get the required experience if we do not get the job. So, we are forced to take something else and work our way into our chosen field, gradually and step-by-step. Some, however, never get out of this first job and become trapped. They hate their jobs, but do not have the courage to quit and get another. Those who are willing to take risks, on the other hand, usually succeed and find the job of their dreams. A little patience and determination is usually all it takes. A little talent and skill never hurts, either.

The double standard of our society still places somewhat stronger pressure upon females than males to get married and start a family during their early adulthood. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, conditions today make it necessary for women to have careers and contribute financially to the family, too.

Early marriages create stability in our lives, and they can ease much of the pain of aloneness that leaving home has given us. Such unions, however, can fall apart later, when the couple realizes that they have never had the experience of actually being on their own. This is not necessarily the case for every marriage of this type. Growing as persons can be a very binding and intimate experience for a couple who share the journey together. Children can also serve to bring strength to a marriage, or they can tear it apart. The decision is up to the couple and how they choose to deal with the many trials and tribulations.
 
 

THIRD SCORE : AGES 40 - 60

The fortieth birthday is often one of the most traumatic events in a person’s adult life, and marks the passage into middle age. This is the time of deadlines. If we are to achieve any of our life’s goals, it is now. The time to select a new career or establish a new family is rapidly escaping us. We are no longer young, and the telltale signs of biological aging have already begun to accumulate. We no longer have the seemingly limitless energy reserves that we did twenty years ago, facial wrinkles have begun to appear on the face that stares back at us in the mirror, gray hair may have already made its appearance, and we seem to be a bit more farsighted with each passing year.

Many people wage a futile battle to postpone the inevitable. They may dye their hair, have a number of cosmetic surgeries (a.k.a. face-lifts), or spend thousands of dollars on a plethora of miracle youth restorers, none of which work. Other people have no trouble "looking their age" and find great inner-peace from growing old gracefully. They no longer rely on outer appearances or brute strength to accomplish their goals, so are able to discover the real strength that comes from knowledge of the Spirit Self. They seem ageless, and refuse to accept the stereotypes that require them to "act their age."

A midlife crisis is often the result of unrealized dreams and coming to terms with the process of aging. But, this crisis rarely lasts past the late forties, when we either accept our lot in life or have already changed our course and set out to achieve a new set of goals.
 
 

FOURTH SCORE : AGES 60 - 80

The latter years of life require us to make significant changes and adaptations. It is likely that we will find ourselves coping with a variety of physical infirmities, everything from arthritis to bunions, and at least one chronic illness. We must prepare to retire from the workforce, passing the torch on to the next generation, and find new activities with which to occupy our remaining days. Many of our friends and family will die during these years, so we must learn to cope with the emotions of loss.

Most people find this score of years exciting and full of new opportunities. They may go back to school and earn the college degree that raising a family would not allow them time to do in their youth. They may travel and see all the things that working for a living kept them from seeing. Or, they may take up new hobbies and other avocations for which they never had the time before. Some people, however, focus their attention only on the negative experiences of this period, such as loss of youth and impending death, and live out the remainder of their lives in depression and boredom. Sad, especially since Life has so much to offer every human being at every period of their too short existence. We should not waste a moment.
 
 

FIFTH SCORE : AGES 80 - ???

For those of us who are fortunate enough to make it this far, our major task will be to simply reconcile ourselves with our own mortality. We will, by this score, know ourselves as well as we are ever likely to. So, coming to terms with the Self is not as much of an issue as coming to terms with the life we have lived. If we are not content with our life, how can we be ready to give it up? But, give it up we must because there is only one sure thing about our life... we will not go on forever as we are.