December 27, 1999 DiSCLAiMER: I'd blame it on the eggnog, but I don't drink that stuff. Nothing is mine but the words, and even some of those belong to someone else..... It's after Christmas. I'm attempting to get over some writer's block that has plagued me since August. I'm tired. I think I'm allergic to something (or SOMEONE). I've got a history essay due soon, and we're leaving to visit yet more family members tomorrow morning. Choose whichever one you want to blame all this stuff on. :-) I need feedback! Email me with any suggestions, including a new title. I'm sapped! celestia@innocent.com The song "I Love You" is Celine Dion's, from her "Falling into You" CD that I got for Christmas. Consider it highly recommended by me. I Love You by Celestia ============= I may not have been all that sociable these past few days, Chakotay, but, heavens forbid, I've been thinking. Gods, have I ever been thinking. And I've reached a conclusion. I'm nuts. Head over heels insane, even. Why do I think that? Because, for too many years, I wouldn't admit that I wanted you. That I liked you by my side. ==== I must be crazy now Maybe I dream too much But when I think of you I long to feel your touch To whisper in your ear Words that are as old as time Words that only you would hear If only you were mine ==== I keep thinking back, for some crazy reason, to that fateful day when I stranded everyone in this blasted quadrant. The thing is, when you first beamed onto Voyager, I felt an irresistible tingle that began at my fingertips and radiated throughout my entire being. It's the same tingle I used to get every time I fall for a man. I'd though that I was over such things, so I'd ignored it. Now, I wish I'd just went with it then. Blurted it out, let you know what I was feeling. It would make now a hell of a lot easier. Maybe the last few years would've gone easier, too. ==== I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you Should've made my move when you looked in my eyes 'Cause by now I'd know that you 'd feel the same way that I do And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie here by my side I love you, please say You love me too, these three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together Till the end of time. ==== We've got about thirty or so years left to go, Chakotay. That's a pretty long time. A long time to be alone. A long time to long for someone. A long time to be left wanting. A long time to think. You know, I almost admitted to everything this morning. I almost got the metaphorical hammer out to break down my walls. I almost walked up to your door, so it would open and I could say something, or maybe nothing at all. Maybe I could've kissed you right there and then. But by the time I'd gotten ready for duty, I'd lost my courage, and just headed straight for the bridge. But, this afternoon, you handed me a PADD, and everything changed. ==== So today, I finally find the courage deep inside Just to walk right up to your door But my body can't move when I finally get to it Just like a thousand times before Then without a word he handed me this letter Read "I hope this finds the way into your heart", it said I love you, please say You love me too, these three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together Till the end of time ==== I was shocked. I'd thought that you'd probably put those feelings behind you, after New Earth and everything that followed. I'd thought you wouldn't reciprocate what I was feeling now. I'd thought that you might not want me, because of how I've hurt you before. Gods, I never meant to hurt you, Chakotay. Now, I just have to decide what my next move will be..... ==== Well maybe I, I need a little love And maybe I, I need a little care And maybe I, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you Oh you need somebody just to hold you If you do, just reach out and I'll be there ==== I find myself at your door now. This time, I won't turn away. I ring the chime, and the door opens almost immediately, and you're standing right there. Your red eyes match my own, as if you've been crying. I guess you thought I wouldn't show up. How could you think that, Chakotay? Your eyes begin to sparkle. I open my arms, and we share a warm embrace. I think we're both very much relieved, to have all this out in the open. You gesture towards an elaborately set table, complete with candles and champagne glasses. "We have a lot to discuss." Your voice is warm. I nod. Somehow, I don't think discussing is the *only* thing we're going to do. And I think the next thirty years may be a lot better than the last seven. They're off to a great start. ==== I love you, please say You love me too These three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together Till the end of time ===== Comments? Critiques? Suggestions? celestia@innocent.com I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and I wish you all a Happy Millennium.