Run, run for the hills! Celestia's done what she swore to herself she would never do...

She wrote an "Unforgettable" story.

For those of you who are still here, I've taken a slightly different approach to the what now seems to be the unavoidable story for all J/C writers. I toyed with the idea that, since those pheromones made everyone forget everything about Kellin's last visit, anything could have happened. She could have just come back to right what she felt was wrong, and lied about everything that really happened, including the details of her affair with Chakotay.....

DiSCLAiMER: Paramount owns the frog pond, I just like to take a little swim now and then...

"The point is sometimes we don't see true love even when it's staring us right in the face."
               Dax to Odo, "Shadowplay"

She sat down and stared at the computer console, not quite sure where to start.

"Computer...start Captain's Personal Log."

A beep from the computer. A deep breath from her. A short silence.

"So here I am. Safe in my quarters. That blonde-haired pointy-eared, pale-complexioned alien off my ship, and still I don't know what to say."

Exhale.

"I suppose I should start at the beginning, which would be when the aforementioned alien hailed us, asked for help. We figured out that we each had supplies the other needed, so she plotted her ship on a course parallel to ours and beamed aboard.

"It was at that time she told us what race she was from. She failed to mention at that time the pheromones of hers which would wipe her from our memories forever. My memory must already be fading. I don't remember what her race was. Not that it really matters much.

"All that mattered was her immediate interest in Commander Chakotay. My anger flared as I saw her bat her eyelashes at him as soon as she stepped off the transporter pad. But I concealed it, for I had no claims. I couldn't go around defending unmarked territory like an angry cat. Or Kathryn, in this instance.

"It may have been an innocent batting of the lashes that morning, but by afternoon she was hanging off his arm. By that evening, she was having dinner in his quarters. Apparently a very intimate dinner, for I was looking at the crew's replicator reports when the champagne and candles were tallied up.

"I decided to wait it out. Perhaps it was simple infatuation, perhaps there was more to those pheromones than she let on. But I simply figured it would pass, she'd go back to her ship, and no one would be trying to attract Chakotay, so I could know that I still had time to sort my feelings out at my own pace. Selfish, I know. But at least I was willing to admit there were feelings that needed sorted.

"I made every offer to her I could to get her off the ship. 'Oh, these supplies might need sorted when you get back.' 'Wouldn't it be nice to sleep in your own quarters?' 'Won't people back home be missing you by now?' No avail. Two weeks later, and she was still here. And as close to Chakotay as ever.

"She left me no choice. I needed somewhere to turn. I couldn't hold it in anymore...I knew what I wanted, it was unattainable, and I had to talk to somebody. Chakotay had always been my confidante, but there was no way I could say this straight to his face. Not yet. In fact, all I needed right then was some good 'ol girl talk.

"It was for that reason I found myself ringing B'Elanna's doorbell at 2300 hours 16 days after Kellin's arrival.

"To her credit, she didn't faint or act overly surprise at my arrival. She was just a little startled, but she recovered soon enough and let me in.

"I took her up on her offer to come in and sit down, and then I just let it all out. It didn't come out in calmly prepared words like I expected it to, but instead in a torrent of tears.

" 'Captain?' B'Elanna questioned. 'It's Kathryn when we're off duty,' I reminded her in a hoarse voice. 'Especially when I just cried all over your sofa.'

"She smiled meekly and sat down beside me. 'It's about him, isn't it?'

" I decided to play dumb, even though I knew very well who she meant. 'Who?'

"She sighed. 'Chakotay. And.....Kellin.' She shuddered as she said it. It seemed someone else didn't exactly appreciate her presence. 'I think he's gone absolutely nuts.'

"I smiled weakly. So there I was, almost four years since she'd come aboard, finally conversing with my chief engineer. I realized then that we so rarely talked. I promised myself we would have these girl talks more often. Unfortunately, I now know I probably won't be able to uphold that promise.

"We talked for over two hours. Mainly we talked about how men could be so stupid some--OK, most--of the time. But even as we had that conversation, I knew it was my fault as much as his. I didn't exactly make my feelings know...I didn't quite reach him first. I told B'Elanna how I couldn't talk to Chakotay, and she said she understood, even though I saw in her eyes that she thought otherwise. She agreed to speak with him for me. I thanked her profusely, both for speaking with him and for just being there. I then went back to my quarters and replicated an entire pot of black coffee. In all my misery, I drank it all in an hour."

A pause. A deep breath.

"No one was more surprised than I to find myself in Engineering the next day. I knew B'Elanna had called him down there to talk to him, so I was going to listen in.

"I didn't go all the way in...they were standing quite near the Engineering doors. I could hear quite fine from my hiding place beside the entrance.

"He spoke first. 'So...why'd you call me down here, B'Elanna?' She answered with a whispered yell. 'Chakotay, are you nuts?!' I could just imagine the bewildered look on his face. 'B'Elanna I've got work to do on the bridge, if you don't mind...' 'You're not leaving, Chakotay. Not yet. What's this thing with you and Kellin?' 'We're in love.'

"At that moment, my breath caught in my chest. You suspect those things, with the way she was with him every moment and replicator requests that came in around the supper hour. But...you never prepare to hear it said out loud.

" 'That's a load of crap, Chakotay, and you know it. She's practically silent, doesn't seem that brave and courageous, she looks at you as if you're the only thing she sees, and you've always hated that. She's not your type!' 'Who are you to decide who's my type?!' He was getting angry, and it was evident in his voice. 'I'm a friend, Chakotay.' 'She sent you, didn't she?' I stiffened. 'She didn't send me, Chakotay--' 'That's exactly what happened, isn't it? She's always denied her emotions before, and now she sees me with someone else and gets jealous. So she's sending others to talk some sense into me. Well, I've enough sense myself! I've finally found love, she should be happy for me! And if she's not, she can go to hell!' He then stormed out of Engineering, not noticing me in my hiding spot. It was no surprise that no one else noticed when I quickly ducked into the turbolift, sobbing."

She quickly wiped away the tear which slid down her cheek at the thought of the knife in her heart when she heard those words.

Deep breath, exhale slowly, continue.

"And that's the way it continued, for at least the next couple of days. When Chakotay and I had the same bridge shifts, I locked myself in my Ready Room for the entire shift. When there was a message from him on my console, I ignored it. It was selfish and rude, I knew it then and I know it now. But I felt like I couldn't face him.

"After two days of this, on the 19th 'day of Kellin', he entered my Ready Room. I looked up from the PADD I was reading. 'Come in.' It was sarcastic, it was meant to be sarcastic, yet he ignored it totally.

" 'We have to talk.' I got up and walked to the other side of the room. He followed. 'I don't believe so, Chakotay.' I felt his strong hands latch onto my shoulders, and he spun me around. Then he did something which I never in my wildest dreams--all right, some of my wildest, but certainly none of the almost sane ones--expected him to do.

"He kissed me full on the lips.

"At first, I stiffened, but then I gave in to one of the most enjoyable kisses of my lifetime."

A smile as the memory entered her head.

"That was yesterday. We haven't talked since, but Kellin left just this morning in a fairly bad mood. I'd like to believe Chakotay will be calling me soon, explaining some of this. I think perhaps we're at an impasse. And then there's these pheromones...none of this would have happened without Kellin's interference. Tomorrow both of us may wake up without remembering a thing. The computer won't be able to tell us anything. But these personal logs are saved on the backup computer, not the main one. This log might be all that remains of her visit, the memories of what may be the spark of a relationship between Chakotay and I..."

Or not.

"Computer...delete personal log."

*~*~*~*~*

In the main computer core, computations and minor repairs were being performed faster than the speed of thought.

The computer came across the security video files of a promise, two hearts broken, one heart mended, and an order of a bouquet of pink peace roses to be left at Kathryn Janeway's door at 0800 hours the next morning.

But it was all contaminated with something...all had connections with something which must be deleted.

So, with a mere beep in the middle of the silent night, the information was gone.

*~*~*~*~*

Back on her ship, Kellin was already making plans for her return.

Her curly, blonde, over-abundance of hair kept getting in her face, and tears were clouding her eyes. "That captain...if it wasn't for her, I could be happy right now. But I'll get her back...soon, they won't remember me at all. So, I'll come back, and tell Chakotay of our tempestuous love affair...with no proof, even the jealous captain won't be able to deny it. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to happy."

(insert episode "Unforgettable" here)

*~FiNi~*