ˇArmadillos sleep in the middle of the
road with their feet in the air.
ˇRoadrunners don't say "Beep."
ˇThere are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
ˇThere are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
ˇIf it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
ˇNothing will kill a mesquite tree.
ˇThere are valid reasons some people put barbwire wire around their house.
ˇA tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
ˇTexas has 5 seasons:
Spring, February 16 to April 15;
Early Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Super Summer, July 16 to September 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees);
Late Summer, September 11 to October 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Fall, October 2 to December 1;
Winter December 2 to February 15
ˇThere is NO rainy season (or rain). [should add "in West Texas and the
Panhandle and no dry season in East Texas and the Gulf Coast."]
ˇThe wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.
ˇOnced, Twiced and Onlyest are words.
ˇFire ants consider your flesh a picnic.
ˇTexans don't have an accent.
ˇWhen the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
ˇGreen grass DOES burn.
ˇWhen you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop
them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
ˇThe sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple
of weeks.
ˇWhen a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
doctor.
ˇFixinto is one word.
ˇA tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation
[livestock, wildlife, fish].
ˇBackards and Forards means I know everything about you.
ˇYou don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
ˇYou work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
ˇThe difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
ˇPretty much how many fish make up a mess.
ˇWhat general direction catty-wampus is.
ˇThat "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
ˇHow good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
ˇAin't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits.
ˇA good dog is worth it's weight in gold.
ˇReal gravy don't come from the store.
ˇWhere "by and by" is.
ˇThe difference between "pert near" and "a right far piece."
ˇWhat happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
ˇNever to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is
actually going to make a turn.
ˇYou may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the
elbows.
ˇYou should never loan your tools, pickup, or gun to nobody.
ˇA belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
ˇRocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
