Yo Momma Jokes

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1. Your mama is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
2. Your mama is so fat, when she goes to the movie, she sits next to everyone.
3. Your mama is so fat, when she goes in a resturant, she looks at the menu and says," Okay ".
4. Your mama is so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
5. Your mama is so fat, she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.
6. Your mama is so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get in her pocket.
7. Your mama is so fat, you have to take a train and two buses, just to get on her good side.
8. Your mama is so fat, she has to wake up in sections.
9. Your mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and a boogger popped out of George Washington's nose.
10. Your mama is so fat, she put on some BVD's and by the time she got them on, they spelled boulevard.
11. Your mama is so fat, the National Weather Service gives a name for each one of her farts.
12. Your mama is so ugly, they're going to move Halloween to her birthday.
13. Your mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
14. Your mama is so ugly, she went to the beauty shop and it took three hours, for an estimate.
15. Your mama is so ugly, when she goes to the beach, cats try to put sand on her.
16. Your mama is so old, when she was in school, they didn't have history.
17. Your mama is so old, when I told her to act her own age, she died.
18. Your mama's so fat, when she's standing on the corner, police drive by and say, "Hey! Break it up!"
19. Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, she can only go down.
20. Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.
21. Yo momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
22. Yo momma's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
23. Yo momma's so fat, they had to let out the shower curtain.
24. Yo momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
25. Yo momma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
26. Yo momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
27. Yo momma's so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
28. Yo momma's so fat when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.
29. Yo momma's so fat that her graduation picture was an aerial photograph!
30. Yo momma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
31. Yo momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
32. Yo momma's so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
33. Yo momma's so fat she was zoned for commercial development.
34. Yo momma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
35. Yo momma's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
36. Yo momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
37. Yo momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
38. Yo momma's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
39. Yo momma's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
40. Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
41. Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
42. Yo momma's so fat, when she got her shoes shined, she had to take his word for it.
43. My momma is so skinny, her pajamas have only one stripe
44. Yo momma's so ugly she'd scare a buzzard off a gut wagon.
45. Yo momma's so ugly she looks like she's been bobbing for french fries!
46. Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras
47. Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits on the beach, cats try to bury her.
48. Yo momma's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
49. Yo momma's so ugly when she entered an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
50. Yo momma is so ugly for Halloween she can trick-or-treat over the telephone!
51. Your momma is so ugly, if my dog looked like that, I'd shave his butt and walk him backwards.
52. Yo momma's so short you can see her feet on her driver's license!
53. Yo momma's house is so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
54. Yo momma's head is so small that she got her ear pierced and died.
55. Yo momma's lips are so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
56. Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
57. Yo momma's so dumb she thought that TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
58. Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
59. Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
60. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center
61. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
62. Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
63. Yo momma's so dumb she sold the car for gas money
64. Yo momma's so dumb when she went to the movies, and they said "under 17 not admitted" she went home and got 16 friends
65. Yo momma's so dumb when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur in the home, she moved
66. Yo momma's so dumb when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
67. Yo momma's so dumb when she saw the sign that said, "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
68. Yo momma's so dumb she went up on your roof because they said drinks were on the house!
69. Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's!
70. Yo momma is so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
71. Yo momma's so poor when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
72. Yo momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
73. Yo momma 's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
74. Your momma's underarms are so hairy, she looks like she has somebody in a headlock.
75. Yo momma's so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo momma!
76. Yo momma's so dumb she only changed your diapers once a month because it said on the box "good for up to 20 pounds"!

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