How
To Annoy The IRS
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- Always put staples in the right
hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right
side. The extractors who remove the mail from the
envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
- Never arrange paperwork in the
right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few
upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove
all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple
it (on the left side).
- Line the bottom of your envelope
with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you
forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and
the extractor has to open it by hand.
- If you're very unfortunate and have
to pay taxes, send two or three party check. On top of
paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars
you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no
matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a
special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
- Write a little letter of
appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and
stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
- Write your letter on something
misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a
supermarket sack.
- When you mail it, mail it in a big
envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big
envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than
regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big
envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so
the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
- If you send two checks, they'll
have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half
destroyed form.
- Always put extra paper clips on
your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be
removed and put away.
- Sign your name in ink on every
page. Any signature has to be verified and then date
stamped.
These are just a few of the
fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. These methods
are ONLY recommended when you OWE money.
If they owe you money,
being nice helps.
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