Brad's World

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Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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• You have no life and can prove it mathematically.
• You know vector calculus, but can't remember how to do long division.
• You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• You have actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• It is sunny and warm out, and you are inside working in a computer lab.
• You think in math.
• You have actualy calculated that the World Series diverges.
• You can transliate English into Binary.
• You consider any non-science class "easy."
• You understand mre than five of these indicators.

• 10. You can't put food on the table with a degree in chemistry.
• 9. I like Friday classes.
• 8. I didn't want a social life.
• 7. Fabulous Babes (both of them).
• 6. It's the best 6 years of my life.
• 5. It's a good start for business school.
• 4. Multivariable Integral Calculus is fun.
• 3. I like having a calculator as part of my wardrobe.
• 2. The Technology fee was only $150.00
• 1. I thought I got to drive a train!

1. Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi
2. Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
3. Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
4. Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
5. California: As Seen on TV
6. Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
7. Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
8. Delaware: Please Call Before Visiting So We Can Make Room
9. Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
10. Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
11. Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
12. Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
13. Illinois: Gateway to Iowa
14. Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
15. Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk
16. Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
17. Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
18. Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
19. Maine: Cheap Lobster
20. Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
21. Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
22. Michigan: First Line of Defense against the Canadians
23. Minnesota: For Sale
24. Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
25. Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
26. Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else
27. Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
28. Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
29. New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us
30. New Jersey: You Want a Motto? I Got Yer stinkin’ Motto Right Here!
31. New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
32. New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
33. North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
34. North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
35. Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland
36. Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing
37. Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
38. Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
39. Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
40. South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
41. South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
42. Tennessee: The Educashun State
43. Texas: Se Hablo Ingles
44. Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
45. Vermont: Yep
46. Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
47. Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers! Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
48. West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!
49. Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
50. Wyoming: Wynot?

Emergency Phone Numbers

When in sorrow, call John 14 When men fail you, call Psalm 27 If you want to be fruitful, call John 15 When you have sinned, call Psalm 51 When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34 When you are in danger, call Psalm 91 When God seems far away, call Psalm 139 When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11 When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23 When you grow bitter and critical, call 1st Corinthians 13 For Paul's secret to happiness, call Colosians 3:12-17 For idea of Christianity, call 1st Corinthians 5:15-19 When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31 When you want peace and rest, call Matthew 11:25-30 When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90 When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8: 1-30 When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121 When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67 For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55 When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1 How to get along with fellow men, call Romans 12 When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10 If you are depressed, call Psalm 27 If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37 If you are losing confidence in people, call 1 Corinthians 13 If people seem unkind, call John 15 If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126 If you find the world growing small and yourself great, call Psalm 19

Reason, Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.