The Ode to Pez

This is a poem I wrote one night my freshman year, while I sat, bored at home. It has been published in a copy of ONU's "art magazine," Polaris, of which I was part for about half a quarter. Obviously this was a slightly messed up part of my life.

O, little treasured candy jewel,
To leave my life would be so cruel.
You may taste like some strange fruit,
But that dispenser, oh how cute!
Shaped like little cartoon guys,
And women too, they are so nice.
Open their heads, they won't complain.
Tear open their necks, they feel no pain.
The one thing that they like best,
Is to make me happy and give me Pez.
Yes! Pez, you are my favorite treat!
It is you I love to eat.
As you can tell, I have no life,
No girlfriend, lover or even a wife.
I've been reduced to writing Pez poems.
I can't even blame a dysfunctional home.
With nothing to blame but myself, I'm depressed
Of course you realize this poem is a joke.
The true reason I'm sad is that I'm broke,
And can't afford to buy more Pez...