Crazy Lady

Tim Robinson, 2002.

I ran into a crazy lady on the street today. Wow, she was nuts. She was talking to herself on a street corner waiting for the little white "walk" man to appear as I was, and I said hi to her. She stepped closer to me to hear and asked, "What did you say?" I repeated my greeting and she was so impressed that I said hi to her that she started raving and complaining about how no one ever says hello. Then she began to explain, with great animation, about how she was just persecuted at a nearby store. I wasn't sure what that was about, but I listened. To my surprise, but perhaps not so much, she exclaimed to me that she is a born-again spirit-filled prophet of God. It was amazing to hear this women, she went on and on for 15 minutes about all the horrible things going on in her life because of this persecution, she talked about the terrible things that people were doing to her, spying on her, accusing her, insulting abusing ... she explained that with her spiritual powers she could understand what some of these people were thinking and what their intentions were. Meanwhile I could totally imagine that these were completely normal people just responding to her lunacy. She began to become enraged and shouted out her anger for these "dirty rats." She expressed great comfort in the fact that God is going to punish them hard. She spoke with glee that they would burn in hell forever, that God would come down and kill a third of the earth as she explained was told about in the book of Revelation.

With her arms flailing and her eyes glaring she began to tell me of how all the world events are leading up to the imminent return of Jesus. Then she began to express, desperately, that I need to get out of this horrible sinful world, and that Jesus is coming back any moment for those who have faith in him. "You need to ask Jesus in your heart and be saved," she said without a hint of hesitation. I nodded and listened as she went on. "The world is such a horrible sinful place, a den of wickedness!" Without waiting for a response, she so desperately implored me to be ready for the coming of Christ, and to beware of hell. Then suddenly and completely unexpected she just walked away. "Bye Hillary," I said. She turned and gave a soft, "Bye Tim" and continued walking.

I walked away amazed at her craziness, chuckling a bit to myself, but still a little shocked at her desperate complaints and pleas. As I thought about it, it occurred to me, "She's the sanest Christian I have ever met." She completely applied evangelical theology to its fullest extent. If what evangelicals, especially Pentecostals say is true, how can we not be like her? I thought to myself, "Go ahead and try to justify sitting there for one idle moment while millions are going to hell." She explained that for her it's like waving her hands at a passenger train as it is headed for certain doom, trying to get it to stop. Isn't that what our theology tells us? It hit home, the only way that theology can be accepted is either with apathy, or desperation. She pleaded with me to be saved, the fires of hell are waiting, she warned me straight up, that hell is coming unless I do something about it. She didn't try to live a good life so I would notice, she didn't try to befriend me and slowly give hints at the gospel, she didn't give me a tract, she said, "This train is headed for a cliff!!" What argument, what excuse do Christians have for not doing this? "Oh those other ways aren't affective." That's like being the only one on the titanic that knew it was sinking and hoping that by proudly wearing a life jacket people will jump up and say, "Oh my gosh the ship is sinking!!" Sitting on the unsinkable ship, they'll just think you're an idiot.

What also was startling was how she seemed to express joy in the punishment of those sinners. This is not Christian, we would think. But doesn't Christian theology express that God will punish those in his anger? Shouldn't Christians then agree with him in that? How else could we understand all the horrible punishment God seems to take pleasure in giving throughout the Bible? Again, she was pushing good evangelical theology, to its limits, really applying it to life. She was living out all those 'difficult' portions of the Bible. God's going to smite them, and that's okay with her. She lived it all, and her belief consumed her life. Her life didn't matter, she walked the streets and warned people till she was thrown out of restaurants, taken away by the police, put in hospitals, psychiatric wards, sent to court, all because she's living out what evangelical theology expresses. If this is the case ... how could we not be like her? Justify one idle second if thousands are going to hell. Is sitting there while people burn, or rationalizing away an obviously vengeful God, sane?

I say all this to point out that perhaps there is something wrong with the system, with how we believe. Apathy is a must, or we have to be like her. Avoid the issue, rationalise it away, or we must be like her, perhaps the only sane evangelical Christian. Or maybe, the story of reality is in fact different from her belief.

Later on in the day while I was painting a railing at work, I thought about how she was totally sold out to her faith. She lived what she believes completely. I may believe something different, but how much do I live out what I believe. How much am I consumed by that belief, whatever it may be. I applied it to my belief that we aren't so much here to work to get ourselves into heaven, but to make this place a little more like heaven, and that perhaps we cannot change the world, but we can at least change our own world, the world that happens around us. I became intensely challenged to take the idea to task. To become consumed by it. I may not end up on the streets screaming at strangers, but I hope I can someday "be" my faith, as much as she was.