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| Discussion
1
Assertiveness |
Are you
afraid to say something to a friend because
of how you think they'll react? If so, I
think you need to first ask yourself why you
feel that way. Obviously it's because
something about them causes you to think
that. This means that next you must
determine if it's real or not. Are they
really the type of person you have to watch
what you say around? If you answered yes,
then you need to ask yourself if this person
is truly a friend. The answer to that is
simple. But suppose for a second that
they're not like that. Going back to the
original question, are you afraid to say
something to a friend because of how you
think they'll react? More
importantly, how does one discern whether or
not they are protecting their friendship
from something that won't hurt it? Again
the answer is simple. Simple in theory, yet
so many have difficulty in putting it into
practice. The answer simply being: SAY IT!
You will soon find out if this is your
friend or not. Think about it. What do we
gain by keeping quiet when we have something
to say? We live in a world inhabited by
billions. At the end of the day, we all
reflect on our time spent and pine over
whether it was enjoyable or not. It would
be more enjoyable if things went our way a
little more often, wouldn't it? As far as
people are concerned, speaking your mind is
your best shot at helping things go your
way. And that is the final word on
assertiveness.
| Discusion
2
Influence |
Are you trying to get somebody
to see something the way you do? Or maybe
someone is taking advantage of a loved one
and you're trying to show them that? Almost
seems wrong to even talk about changing a
person's mind. If you are doing it for
them, I don't believe the effort is a bad
idea. One of the largest hurdles you must
face is inhibitions. These are usually the
result of tradition or upbringing. These
things can be quite deep within a person.
You won't find success in changing their
mind just because it is traditional, because
many things are better handled in the
'old-fashioned' manner. First of all, try
to discern whether or not you have a good
reason for attempting to influence them.
For example, you wouldn't want to try to
persuade someone to smoke, because they have
good reasons not to. On the other hand, say
you wanted someone to enjoy themselves when
they are taking their responsibilities too
seriously. Your best weapon as always will
be the truth. Let them know the facts as
they pertain to the subect at hand. Don't
try and change their mind, just let them
know what they're up against. By doing it
this way, it's not even you that is
influencing them; it's themselves. When you
approach it from that angle, you help them
(see for themselves) while accomplishing
your goal. It ends up a win-win situation
as all real things do. And that is the
final word on influence.
| Discussion
3
Accountability |
Are you having a hard
time looking at yourself in the mirror
sometimes? You have to ask yourself why
that is. Most often, it is because we've
done something we're not proud of.
Everybody knows there are many things out
there that are "wrong." Yet we all do some
of them each day. I wouldn't worry too much
about that; that's only because we are not
perfect. That's my point though. Nobody
expects you to be perfect if they know what
they're talking about. In fact, you'll find
that people are more comfortable around
those who know and accept that they make
mistakes. It is important that we learn
from our mistakes. How else can we benefit
from this unbreakable cycle? Can you guess
what a person will learn from their mistakes
if they think they don't make them? So many
people out there when asked will swear up
and down that they didn't do something, even
if they really did. Their reasoning is that
they will get in trouble one way or another.
They may be right. But to avoid trouble, we
need to not make the mistake in the first
place. Once we've done something wrong, all
we can do is accept the consequences and
aspire to not make the same mistake in the
future. We need to admit our mistakes, so
we may begin searching for a way to avoid a
subsequent incidence. If we can do that, we
are in a position to be a worthwhile friend
to others. And that is the final
word on accountability.
| Discussion
4
Identification |
Have you ever found
yourself wondering how to take somebody?
Maybe they've begun to act differently and
you just haven't been sure on how you should
look at that. Depending on the
circumstances, that can be a complicated
problem indeed. Fear not, for the solution
is quite simple. You simply have to judge
them. As you'll notice, the solution can
only be simple after we've gone through the
complicated process of preparing it. Most
people frown on judging others. Usually
when people judge others, it is a substitute
for dealing with them as a person. That
is wrong. I don't mean judge them
like that. What I mean is take a person
going by how they act. We've all heard the
expression, "Actions speak louder than
words," right? This just means that a
person cannot falsify their actions as
easily as they can their words. Therefore
their actions are a more reliable indication
of who they are, how they are feeling, what
they are doing, and what they want. By
judging for yourself what their actions
mean, you are headed in the right direction.
For strangers, this is unfortunately the end
of the process. If they left a bad
first-impression, they may have lost your
favor forever. However, if it's someone we
know, we simply need to compare what we see
to what we are accustomed to seeing. If you
notice a difference, you may be able to help
with or help stop a problem before it
precipitates. A disaster can be avoided;
especially if you know how to read the
warning signs. And that is the final
word on identification.
Amendment to:
Discussion
4 | 
| Discussion
5
Renewal |
It was
brought to my attention that Discussion 4
could be improved upon. I would've issued
this as an amendment, but it can be applied
to many areas of life, so it is its own
Discussion. Let this show all of you that
these are in fact discussions.
This expansion is courtesy of
theabyss@iname.com.
Have you ever been
in a situation where it seems like
everywhere you go, the people you trust
begin treating you differently? By
differently, I mean that maybe you aren't as
"fun" as you used to be? Do you sometimes
find yourself frustrated with something new
that everybody else seems to like? I have
good news for you then, because I may have a
way for you to get past these. There are
some things in life where it is enough to
simply do the right thing or make the best
decision. Then there are those that require
constant attention. You can hook up your
brand new television and you may never have
to mess with it again, whereas in the case
of your new dog you must spend a great deal
of time with him. Ever notice that you hear
of a recovered alcoholic, but never a cured
alcoholic? There are just some things that
need for you to continuously reassess them.
Many people will shy away from these because
they are scared of the additional work.
Without name-calling, you may notice that
these people have less substance to them.
Allow me to reassure you that any extra work
is almost always worth it. If you're in the
habit of doing the right thing, many of
these high-upkeep things will fall into
place anyways. This repeated checking is
very important when identifying someone. If
they change, it is imperative that you are
aware. It can help save a friend who begins
to plummet, as well as make a friend of
someone who recently changed for the better.
This will make your life more enjoyable,
hence being worth the extra effort. And
that is the final word on
renewal.
 |
Discussion
6
Outlook |
Are you having a bad day? Have
you had one recently? Have you had a good
day recently? Why? On the same cloudy day,
one man will walk down the street whistling
a tune as if he didn't have a care in the
world, while another is rushing in traffic,
not actually getting any further ahead than
those next to him who are not rushing. Why?
There is an expression that states that life
is what you make it. I believe this to be
true, but in several different ways. The
way I want to address at this moment is a
person's outlook. I myself have found
myself reacting a lot more peacefully than I
have in the same situation, just because
things in general seem to be going well.
Makes sense, right? But that's the proof
that we truly do shape our own day. If you
find yourself becoming frustrated with a
situation, take a step back, a deep breath,
and look what's going on. If it's something
you can do nothing about in the immediate
future--like starting your day off at work
on the wrong foot for example--try focusing
your thoughts on something that is pleasing
in the long-run. By doing this, you will
find that your entire day will go by more
smoothly. I know that is easier said than
done, but give it a try. What do you have
to lose? If you truly want to remain calm
in some turbulant situations, it's entirely
in your hands. To know that you are
handling yourself appropriately can be a
soothing thought itself. And people do
notice. They will ask you how you do it,
and they will be nicer around you as well.
As a manifestation of the domino theory,
life truly is what you make it. And that is
the final word on outlook.
 |
Discussion
7
Credit |
Have you ever seen somebody
doing something very well and you could tell
they were really putting some effort into
it? Did you tell them they were doing a
good job and that their hard work really
paid off for them? What about this: Have
you ever had somebody tell you that you were
doing an outstanding job? If everyone
thought about how meaningful something can
be to someone else, we'd probably be
inspired to share with them that they're
doing well. And what's the first thing you
want to do once you've put a lot of effort
into something and saw it work the way you
planned? Why you want to share it with
family friends of course! Unfortunately all
too often I see people who keep their
achievements to themselves because they're
scared that if they talk about it, others
will perceive them to be conceited.
Obviously that is not the case, but they are
not guilty by themselves; They only think
this way because nobody ever said, "Wow,
what a great job you did," and hence never
showed them that someone is
interested. If we invest in the whole
second it takes to give credit where credit
is due, we automatically boost that person's
self-esteem, and in turn we brighten up our
own day. Another win-win situation. So the
next time you put some effort into something
special, don't be afraid to say, "Hey, look
what I can do." In the end, anyone who
thinks of you as conceited might just be
jealous. And that is the final word
on credit.
 |
Discussion
8
Cause |
Have you ever made the same
mistake twice? We've already established
that we all make mistakes. It's already
been said that we need to admit to them. If
we don't admit to ourselves a problem
exists, any attempt at a solution will be
half-hearted. And now comes the hard part.
How do we make an effort that will in fact
solve our problem? Or for those of you who
rarely make the same mistake twice, how can
we make an effort that will more efficiently
brighten our lives? The answer sounds easy
and is really not too difficult. Many
people think about how they did something and
it was wrong. Occasionally, you even get
those who were brought up even better who
identify why it was wrong. Then they tell
themselves not to do that only to do it
again and wonder how it happened. Next time
you wish to correct something in yourself,
try this: Ask yourself what inside you
caused you to do it? When you
identify that you can begin to work on what
it was that caused you to do it. Once you
succeed in that, you will find that your
original problem will not come back to haunt
you again. In addition, you will also have
prevented other problems that could've
stemmed from the same wrong thinking or
attitude. So you solve your original
problem, prevent similar ones from occuring,
and you are better in touch with yourself.
It's a win-win-win situation in which you
will not make the same mistake again. And
that is the final word on
cause.
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